Ozma: Where is he? Where is the P.E.D.?
Images flicker in the Magic Picture. An overview of the Land of Oz gives way to the border between Munchkinland and the Deadly Desert.
High, and far, something moves across the desert sky. The image zooms-in to reveal a charred and blistered dragon; struggling to maintain controlled flight. It was descending westward toward Munchkinland.
...........................
Frankly, I was surprised to still be alive.
The atmosphere seems unusually murky, and smells pre-industrial.
I extend my tail fully, flaring the ridges
for stability. Balance now tells me which way is "down".
My wings, especially, hurt; so I manifest my magical
wing extensions just enough to keep steady. Since my eyes
don't give me any altitude information, I fall back on echo
location. Drawing in a deep breath; I bark out a sharp "BOOM!"
I repeat this at intervals until I begin to hear the sound
reflecting back from below. The air is thicker, here:
smelling of grasslands, corn, and oats.
When my "sonar" indicates a height of less than 50 feet,
I drop all four legs and cup my wing extensions to slow me
down. My hind legs make contact with vegetation, and then
tilled ground. My forelegs meet the same, then a picket fence,
flowers, and...my face crashes thru a glass window.
WHO LEFT THIS HOUSE IN THE WAY?
I come to rest, surrounded by sawdust, dust, wasp nests
and fragments of rotten timbers and rusty roofing.
At least, no one was living here. I pass out.
...........................
The Wizard: What IS it about Center Munch? Dorothy's house landed on the Witch of the East. Now, this dragon lands on the house. There must be a tramline there from Kansas...one way.
Ozma: It was a National Monument, and a big Tourist Attraction. The Munchkins will be upset. I now have TWO reasons to get there as quickly as possible.
Wizard: A teleportation?
Ozma: No, little wizard. I need to bring the Medicine Man with me. A very large patient is waiting. Go tell the Saw Horse that I need a ride very, very fast. I'll change clothes and be right down.
...........................
I awake to the sound of cursing.
Ozama: DRAGONS! I HATE dragons! Look at my house!
PED: Well, I love you, too; whoever you are. Could you please not shout? Come back in the morning, and we'll see what is what.
Boq: It wasn't your house YET, Mr Ben Loden. The town council was to finish signing the deed, tomorrow. And, you still have your bag of gems.
Ozama: I want him OUT of THERE! Can't someone get rid of this DRAGON?
PED: Why so upset? There wasn't a sound piece of wood in the place. (My foot goes thru the remnants of a porch, and presses painfully on the end of a very solid, thin post.) OW! I guess I spoke too soon. (I grasp the post and pull it upward out of the ground. It feels about the size and length of a large shovel handle, with a few straws tied to the upper end.)
Boq: *gasp* That...that looks like.... a BROOMSTICK!
Dorothy said she didn't HAVE one, so it must be...
Ozama: MINE! MINE! IT'S MINE AND I'LL HAVE IT!
Boq: If it belonged to the Witch of the East, it is hazardous material and must be destroyed.
(At this, the broomstick begins vibrating in my hand; and tugging as if it wanted to be far away. I begin to get the idea of what is going on. The dust has been tickling my nose. I encourage the itch.)
PED: Ah...ahh...ahhh...AHHHH...
Boq: HIT THE DIRT!(action follows suggestion)
PED: ...CHOOO! (The broomstick takes the full blast of my
fiery sneeze, and bursts into a dozen charred embers.
My ears tell me all this. I cannot see even my own flame;
which means...)
Ozama: My Broomstick! NOOOOO! (sound of feet running away.)
Boq: FIRE! FIRE! The town hall is burning!
PED: OOPS! (I stumble away from the shouting, cross a narrow brick road, and bump into a larger building. I start climbing until I reach the top. Some flimsy structure there gives way as I take it's place on the roof.)
Screaming Woman: The TIME DRAGON! The TIME DRAGON is AWAKE!
HE'S DESTROYING THE WORLD BY FIRE!
(More screaming follows. Really, I need a little time myself.
I can't do much until I heal most of my serious injuries.
The crowd sounds move away. I hear splashing and hissing as
buckets of water are thrown against a burning building.
I wait.)
...........................
Woman: Hey, you. What are you doing up there?
PED: Madame, I am waiting.
Woman: Waiting for what?
PED: I'm waiting for many things: for my injuries to heal; for the shouting to die down; to learn what tomorrow may bring - that sort of thing.
Woman: OK, so who are you?
PED: I am forgetting my manners. I am ordinarily known as the Pie Eyed Dragon.
Woman: You look like they kept you in the oven too long.
PED: For such a RARE creature, I am feeling a bit too Well Done.
Woman: *laughs* Well, I'm the Good Witch of the North; and I don't tell MY real name, either. There used to be a cut-out image of the mythical Time Dragon up there, where you are. It's in a pile on the ground here, now.
PED: Who is this "Time Dragon?"
Good Witch: The usual story alleges that he created the Sun and Moon; then went to sleep in an airless chamber. His dreams create all the Land of Oz. When he wakes, he will destroy the world by fire. Is that good enough?
PED: That will do. What was that about a broomstick, and a Wicked Witch of the East?
Good Witch: Well, about ninety years ago: the Witch ruled all of Munchkinland. Then, a house fell on her. The house was carried here by a cyclone, all the way from a land called "Kansas." A little girl inside the house survived the trip.
PED: Now, THAT is stretching things.
Good Witch: No, really. She's in the Emerald City now.
PED: A very old woman?
Good Witch: No, still a young girl. People don't age here; or die, ordinarily. She has been very ill for the past year. No one can find a cure, but Princess Ozma has been trying everything. Ozma is the ruler of this land.
PED: Munchkinland?
Good Witch: And Winkieland, and the Quadling and Gillikin countries; and Emerald City: All the Land of Oz.
Boq: Greetings, Good Witch. The fire is out, without much damage. What shall we do about this dragon?
Good Witch: Leave the poor creature alone, or offer help.
Boq: But, he...
Good Witch: It was all an accident. ARE YOU AS BLIND AS HE IS?
[Some of the above beings and situations have been suggested by the works of L. F. Baum, and that NEW history of the Land: WICKED]
[Herby the Medicine Man first appears in Ruth Plumly Thompson's The Giant Horse of Oz.] Some other images by Thomas Neill
