excuses

100 excuses for being late

  1. My internal clock was on snooze.
  2. I'm not late, I'm just really early for tomorrow:
  3. I had to find a sitter for my inner child.
  4. Be on time? Huh! That's just what you'd expect me to do
  5. Wasn't it Einstein who first said that time is relative?
  6. I thought you said to be here at (fill in time 15 minutes from when you arrive).
  7. I left on time but I think the Universe is expanding.
  8. Mentally, I was here 20 minutes ago.
  9. I was just being fashionable.
  10. My family had a dysfunctional clock.
  11. I had to stop and smell the roses.
  12. I couldn't find a thing to go with these socks!
  13. I'm not late, I'm just Chronologically Challenged.
  14. Bad hair day.
  15. I finally solved the TV Guide crossword puzzle.
  16. I'll have you know that I've just finished with my first novel. (Now I'm thinking of reading another one.)
  17. I thought I'd take a little shortcut.
  18. Come on, Group Hug!
  19. I want my Mtv!
  20. I was busy planning a surprise party for you, (boss, teacher).
  21. I was Sweatin' to the Oldies.
  22. I had absolutely NOTHING to wear.
  23. We're a Neilson family. I was putting in a vote for Body Shaping.
  24. Temporary Insanity!
  25. I plead the Fifth!
  26. Ummm...
  27. I was hypnotized by The Weather Channel (or TNN).
  28. I finally reached level 10 on my life cycle.
  29. One of my multiple personalities is a late sleeper. (Another is a disgruntled, homicidal worker/student.)
  30. The Emergency Broadcast System came on and I didn't think it was just a test.
  31. Yea, But I'm not late in Istanbul (or Constantinopal, for that matter).
  32. Nostrodomus predicted that today was a good day to be late.
  33. You missed me? You REALLY missed me?
  34. Two roads on the highway diverged and I, I took the one less traveled by.
  35. Can't beat me!!
  36. I was stuck in REM sleep.
  37. I'm just trying to break this perfectionist image.
  38. Why do we need labels like "late?" Can't we all just get along? (group hug)
  39. I was getting in touch with my feminine side. (But my Gynecologist canceled my appointment.)
  40. I was born late, you know.
  41. I'm not a (morning/afternoon/evening) person.
  42. My watch stopped.
  43. My watch stopped calling me "master " and had to be reprimanded.
  44. I am protesting the oppressive nature of clocks.
  45. I was waiting for the traffic light to turn fuscia (or mauve).
  46. I thought I left the iron on. (Then I remembered that I don't own one.)
  47. I demand to speak with my attorney.
  48. Somewhere in the world, this is a national holiday!
  49. I got stuck in road construction. (Always applicable)
  50. I never could figure out that whole big hand/little hand thing.
  51. I put my watch on backwards and thought the 9 was a 6.
  52. I had to completely reorganize my thoughts.
  53. I thought it was Sunday.
  54. I'm conducting a research study on the socio-psychological effects of tardiness.
  55. I couldn't decide, paper or plastic.
  56. You didn't specify whether the meeting was Eastern, Central, or Mountain time.
  57. According to my VCR clock it's only 12:00.
  58. I got hooked on Phonics.
  59. It will never happen again.
  60. Someone secretly switched my normal coffee with decaf Folger's Crystals.
  61. My horoscope said not to get out of bed.
  62. I just wanted to see if you'd notice.
  63. I'd fallen, and I couldn't get up.
  64. I mean it this time, it will never happen again.
  65. I was out late last night and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the underside.
  66. I'm just trying to make the time we spend together more precious.
  67. You know that stupid bunny that keeps going and going? He called me up.
  68. They were playing my favorite Zamphir song on the radio.
  69. Did you say a.m. or p.m.?
  70. I suddenly had an urge to be one with nature.
  71. I was soul searching on the way to work and I had to stop for directions.
  72. What can I say, it's a leap year!
  73. I couldn't miss the William Kennedy Smith flashback on Court TV.
  74. I finally ventured into the hosezone, the place where all my missing socks go.
  75. I take full responsibility for my actions.
  76. My biorhythms were off a beat.
  77. I got into a shouting match with the voice in my head.
  78. Yea I'm late, but I'm worth it.
  79. I ate all the fruzenglazia!
  80. I'm (sob) really (sob, sob) so-sorry (wah!)
  81. I was waiting for my mood ring to turn red.
  82. "Hondo" was on.
  83. According to my calculations, the atomic clock is wrong.
  84. I had a mild case of Carpe Diem. (But I'm much better now!)
  85. This isn't really me, it's my evil twin.
  86. OK, but this time I'm serious, it will never happen again!
  87. Explain this whole "late" concept to me again.
  88. I was busy working on my punctuality problem.
  89. Really, I don't feel tardy.
  90. I thought that you might need some time alone.
  91. I went to Montessori Schools.
  92. I'm making up for always being early in another lifetime.
  93. Existentially speaking, how can you prove I'm late?
  94. Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in the word "late" you get "tale"
  95. Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in the word "tardy" you get "rad ty" ...or "darty"
  96. No contest.
  97. The Home Shopping Network put me on hold.
  98. The electricity went out and I couldn't blow-dry my hair.
  99. I'm just trying to make you look good.
  100. I spent too much time thinking up good excuses.