excuses
100 excuses for being late
- My internal clock was on snooze.
- I'm not late, I'm just really early for tomorrow:
- I had to find a sitter for my inner child.
- Be on time? Huh! That's just what you'd expect me to do
- Wasn't it Einstein who first said that time is relative?
- I thought you said to be here at (fill in time 15 minutes from when you arrive).
- I left on time but I think the Universe is expanding.
- Mentally, I was here 20 minutes ago.
- I was just being fashionable.
- My family had a dysfunctional clock.
- I had to stop and smell the roses.
- I couldn't find a thing to go with these socks!
- I'm not late, I'm just Chronologically Challenged.
- Bad hair day.
- I finally solved the TV Guide crossword puzzle.
- I'll have you know that I've just finished with my first novel.
(Now I'm thinking of reading another one.)
- I thought I'd take a little shortcut.
- Come on, Group Hug!
- I want my Mtv!
- I was busy planning a surprise party for you, (boss, teacher).
- I was Sweatin' to the Oldies.
- I had absolutely NOTHING to wear.
- We're a Neilson family. I was putting in a vote for Body Shaping.
- Temporary Insanity!
- I plead the Fifth!
- Ummm...
- I was hypnotized by The Weather Channel (or TNN).
- I finally reached level 10 on my life cycle.
- One of my multiple personalities is a late sleeper.
(Another is a disgruntled, homicidal worker/student.)
- The Emergency Broadcast System came on
and I didn't think it was just a test.
- Yea, But I'm not late in Istanbul (or Constantinopal, for that matter).
- Nostrodomus predicted that today was a good day to be late.
- You missed me? You REALLY missed me?
- Two roads on the highway diverged and I,
I took the one less traveled by.
- Can't beat me!!
- I was stuck in REM sleep.
- I'm just trying to break this perfectionist image.
- Why do we need labels like "late?"
Can't we all just get along? (group hug)
- I was getting in touch with my feminine side.
(But my Gynecologist canceled my appointment.)
- I was born late, you know.
- I'm not a (morning/afternoon/evening) person.
- My watch stopped.
- My watch stopped calling me "master " and had to be reprimanded.
- I am protesting the oppressive nature of clocks.
- I was waiting for the traffic light to turn fuscia (or mauve).
- I thought I left the iron on.
(Then I remembered that I don't own one.)
- I demand to speak with my attorney.
- Somewhere in the world, this is a national holiday!
- I got stuck in road construction.
(Always applicable)
- I never could figure out that whole big hand/little hand thing.
- I put my watch on backwards and thought the 9 was a 6.
- I had to completely reorganize my thoughts.
- I thought it was Sunday.
- I'm conducting a research study on the socio-psychological effects of tardiness.
- I couldn't decide, paper or plastic.
- You didn't specify whether the meeting was Eastern, Central, or Mountain time.
- According to my VCR clock it's only 12:00.
- I got hooked on Phonics.
- It will never happen again.
- Someone secretly switched my normal coffee with decaf Folger's Crystals.
- My horoscope said not to get out of bed.
- I just wanted to see if you'd notice.
- I'd fallen, and I couldn't get up.
- I mean it this time, it will never happen again.
- I was out late last night and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the underside.
- I'm just trying to make the time we spend together more precious.
- You know that stupid bunny that keeps going and going? He called me up.
- They were playing my favorite Zamphir song on the radio.
- Did you say a.m. or p.m.?
- I suddenly had an urge to be one with nature.
- I was soul searching on the way to work and I had to stop for directions.
- What can I say, it's a leap year!
- I couldn't miss the William Kennedy Smith flashback on Court TV.
- I finally ventured into the hosezone, the place where all my missing socks go.
- I take full responsibility for my actions.
- My biorhythms were off a beat.
- I got into a shouting match with the voice in my head.
- Yea I'm late, but I'm worth it.
- I ate all the fruzenglazia!
- I'm (sob) really (sob, sob) so-sorry (wah!)
- I was waiting for my mood ring to turn red.
- "Hondo" was on.
- According to my calculations, the atomic clock is wrong.
- I had a mild case of Carpe Diem.
(But I'm much better now!)
- This isn't really me, it's my evil twin.
- OK, but this time I'm serious, it will never happen again!
- Explain this whole "late" concept to me again.
- I was busy working on my punctuality problem.
- Really, I don't feel tardy.
- I thought that you might need some time alone.
- I went to Montessori Schools.
- I'm making up for always being early in another lifetime.
- Existentially speaking, how can you prove I'm late?
- Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in the word "late" you get "tale"
- Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in the word "tardy" you get "rad ty" ...or "darty"
- No contest.
- The Home Shopping Network put me on hold.
- The electricity went out and I couldn't blow-dry my hair.
- I'm just trying to make you look good.
- I spent too much time thinking up good excuses.