Regrettably, there also came a time during these early San Mateo years, especially during the 1950’s, when Mom and Dad experienced a prolonged period of quarreling and contention. Interestingly, it will be recalled that they had discussed the possibility of this very issue in their letters to one another before they married.
In any case, I am sure that the reasons causing this problem were manifold. Moreover, I don’t claim to understand them all, since I was away at school or on my mission during the time that much of the discord transpired. Nevertheless, I am very confident that the causative factors, as is usually the case, were bilateral in their origin.
Accordingly, and without seeking to be judgmental or conclusive, but based on the various categories that we have just examined in this regard, let me list a few of the factors, which I believe were root causes that certainly must have played into the meld:
Dad was probably overly busy and concerned with his business and Church affairs. There were certainly economic worries and concerns. Used to being in the forefront, Dad had difficulty when he was not in the right; so, he did not apologize nor adequately demonstrate remorse to Mom’s satisfaction when in the wrong. Mom did not feel fully appreciated in her role of being a behind the scenes supporter. She suffered feelings of unfulfilled potential; and there was probably some poor behavior modeling in her home while she was growing-up. Mom had contributing health issues, including possible thyroid hormone imbalance and severe menopausal symptoms. There were definite parental concerns and stresses associated with raising us children.
Fortunately, however, as has already been suggested, following a period of many years after they had become “empty nesters” when each of us children had married and left home, healing and reconciliation finally did take place. In fact, while recalling these times, Dad told Diane: We made our peace with each other. 140
Nonetheless, during the prolonged process of reaching this full-fledged “empty nesters” status, despite enduring the aforementioned difficulties along the way, it should always be remembered that they continued to provide generous, far-sighted support and counsel for each of us, their children, in order that we might be happy and self sufficient. For, after all is said and done, they never forgot that they were still our parents. Chapter Headings | Table of Contents/photographs | Table of Contents/documents | AFH Additional Family History | Website Home | Christenson Line | Howells Line | Contact Me