1905 West Des Moines High School Annual

CRACKED

Miss Snure: "Give your own words in Scott's opinion."

MODERN PROVERBS

Every Freshman has his day.

The road to school is paved with stumbling blocks.

Fortune favors the Bluffer.

There's many a slip between the Fresh. and the dip(loma).

A word in the head is worth two in the book.

Birds with one feather go by themselves.

An hour of P.M. is not bound to cure.

Silence gives a zero.

Miss Williams catches the early students.

Much talk and little knowledge.

Never look a 99 in the mouth-it takes the glory away.

Bluffing is an effective policy.

A pony in need is destruction indeed.

Miss Kyle is mother to the Seniors.

Familiarity (with books) breeds wisdom.

L.V.V., '07

Cartoon on page 108 Clark T. to Charlotte C.: "Say, C., there is going to be a dance tomorrow night at the Armory, can you go with me? I will get some other boys to go with the other girls."
Charlotte: "I am awfully sorry, Clark, but I have to go to prayer meeting."

Your ears are pierced I see, he spoke
On conversation bent.
Oh no, they are only bored, she said.
I wonder what she meant?

Rock of Ages—One of Bridget's pies.

Miss Kyle: "Who is whistling?"
Chet: "Me. Didn't you know I could whistle?"

It's like breaking home ties to say good-bye to a mirror.—Mary M.

AN EVENT ON THE CALENDAR Omaha Debate, April 21, 1905.

The Glee Clubs furnished the school with four spasms of mortal agony. They retired, and pupils in their great joy, clapped long an loud. Mr. Crusinberry tried to stop it, but the frenzy of the discord-struck crowd was too great. Finally Mr. Crusinberry said, "It's all right, boys and girls, theyr're coming back; its a put up job anyhow. The clapping instantly ceased and the silence of despair came over them.—Special

Kay B.: "The man I marry must be big, brave, handsome and intellectual."
Carl (promptly): "How fortunate that we met."

Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.—Margaret R. and Clarke.

THAT RESTAURANT AGAIN
The Cub: "Well, Old sport, how do you feel?"
Tuffy: "I've just eaten a plate of ox tail soup and I feel bully."
The Cub: "That's nothing; I've just eaten a plate of hash and I feel like everything."

There was a young fellow named Ned,
Who looked on the wine when 'twas red;
His person with care
He hung over a chair,
And his clothes he put safely to bed.

"Now do you understand," shouted the angry professor as he hurled an ink bottle at the exasperating pupil. "I think I have an inkling, sir," the bespattered student replied.—Ex.

The tallest boy in the H.S. is Doc. He is so tall that he has to stand on a stepladder to take off his hat.

Tramp: "Have you anything to do in my line today, madam?"
Lady: "What is your business?"
Tramp: "I'm a dentist. I'll put a good set of teeth in a mince pie for you free of charge."
Jury Room image from page 109
"The jury sat upon the case"

I was standing on the corner this afternoon. A gentleman came up and said, "Tell me, do you have to take a car to get to jail?" I said, "Not always, the last time I took an umbrella." He said, "How long does it take to get out and back?" I said, "It took me two months to get out and about three days to get back." The first day out I wasn't feeling well. I went to see a doctor. He gave me some medicine. I gave him a dollar, and there was no change. The next day he gave me more medicine. I gave him another dollar, and still there was no change. the next day I went to see him. When he wasn't looking I put my hand into his pocket. He asked me how I was feeling. I told him I felt a little change, but not as much as I expected.

One morning I was waiting to see the doctor and a lady came in and mistook mefor the doctor. She said, "I want you to treat me." I said, "What'll you have, ice cream or soda?" Then a man came rushing in. He said, "My hair is coming out." "Well," I said, "I didn't know you kept it here." "No, no," he said, "My hair is coming out. Tell me what to get to keep it in." I told him to get a bag.

An humble boy with a shining pail,
Went gladly singing down the dale,
To where the cow with the brindle tail
On clover her palate did regale.
An humble bee did gaily sail
Far over the soft and shady vale,
To where the boy with the shining pail
Was milking the cow with the brindle tail.
The bee lit on the cow's left ear;
Her heels flew up through the atmosphere,
And through the leaves of a chestnut tree
The boy soared into eternity.

Drawing by M. Wadsworth '08

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Miss Snure: "Give your own words in Scott's opinion."
MODERN PROVERBS Every Freshman has his day. The road to school is paved with stumbling blocks. Fortune favors the Bluffer. There's many a slip between the Fresh. and the dip(loma). A word in the head is worth two in the book. Birds with one feather go by themselves. An hour of P.M. is not bound to cure. Silence gives a zero. Miss Williams catches the early students. Much talk and little knowledge. Never look a 99 in the mouth-it takes the glory away. Bluffing is an effective policy. A pony in need is destruction indeed. Miss Kyle is mother to the Seniors. Familiarity (with books) breeds wisdom. L.V.V., '07
	Clark T. to Charlotte C.: "Say, C., there is going to be a dance tomorrow night at the Armory, can you go with me? I will get some other boys to go with the other girls." Charlotte: "I am awfully sorry, Clark, but I have to go to prayer meeting." Your ears are pierced I see, he spoke On conversation bent. Oh no, they are only bored, she said. I wonder what she meant? Rock of Ages—One of Bridget's pies. Miss Kyle: "Who is whistling?" Chet: "Me. Didn't you know I could whistle?" It's like breaking home ties to say good-bye to a mirror.—Mary M.
AN EVENT ON THE CALENDAR Omaha Debate, April 21, 1905. The Glee Clubs furnished the school with four spasms of mortal agony. They retired, and pupils in their great joy, clapped long an loud. Mr. Crusinberry tried to stop it, but the frenzy of the discord-struck crowd was too great. Finally Mr. Crusinberry said, "It's all right, boys and girls, theyr're coming back; its a put up job anyhow. The clapping instantly ceased and the silence of despair came over them.—Special Kay B.: "The man I marry must be big, brave, handsome and intellectual." Carl (promptly): "How fortunate that we met." Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.—Margaret R. and Clarke. THAT RESTAURANT AGAIN The Cub: "Well, Old sport, how do you feel?" Tuffy: "I've just eaten a plate of ox tail soup and I feel bully." The Cub: "That's nothing; I've just eaten a plate of hash and I feel like everything." There was a young fellow named Ned, Who looked on the wine when 'twas red; His person with care He hung over a chair, And his clothes he put safely to bed.
"Now do you understand," shouted the angry professor as he hurled an ink bottle at the exasperating pupil. "I think I have an inkling, sir," the bespattered student replied.—Ex. The tallest boy in the H.S. is Doc. He is so tall that he has to stand on a stepladder to take off his hat. Tramp: "Have you anything to do in my line today, madam?" Lady: "What is your business?" Tramp: "I'm a dentist. I'll put a good set of teeth in a mince pie for you free of charge."	"The jury sat upon the case"
I was standing on the corner this afternoon. A gentleman came up and said, "Tell me, do you have to take a car to get to jail?" I said, "Not always, the last time I took an umbrella." He said, "How long does it take to get out and back?" I said, "It took me two months to get out and about three days to get back." The first day out I wasn't feeling well. I went to see a doctor. He gave me some medicine. I gave him a dollar, and there was no change. The next day he gave me more medicine. I gave him another dollar, and still there was no change. the next day I went to see him. When he wasn't looking I put my hand into his pocket. He asked me how I was feeling. I told him I felt a little change, but not as much as I expected. One morning I was waiting to see the doctor and a lady came in and mistook mefor the doctor. She said, "I want you to treat me." I said, "What'll you have, ice cream or soda?" Then a man came rushing in. He said, "My hair is coming out." "Well," I said, "I didn't know you kept it here." "No, no," he said, "My hair is coming out. Tell me what to get to keep it in." I told him to get a bag.
An humble boy with a shining pail, Went gladly singing down the dale, To where the cow with the brindle tail On clover her palate did regale. An humble bee did gaily sail Far over the soft and shady vale, To where the boy with the shining pail Was milking the cow with the brindle tail. The bee lit on the cow's left ear; Her heels flew up through the atmosphere, And through the leaves of a chestnut tree The boy soared into eternity.