Memorials for Merritt

My dearest Mae

With a sad heart and a trembling hand, I will try and write you something about the passing of dear little Merritt. I know you are anxious to hear, and it is hard on paper, I mean hard to tell. He is gone. I just can't hardly stand to think about it. It has been so hard for us. and I was thinking of you through it all. So sorry you couldn't be here, but it was impossible. We had a telegram from Dale last night, 2 or 3 hours after funeral. "Please wire me if Merritt has not been buried, and if I would have time to get there - Dale." We never even wired him or our oldest girl that is married. She is in Texas, as we knew they couldn't get here. And dear, I or any of the rest knew he was sick until he was dead. I just can't understand it all. They said he wasn't so bad until last 4 days, he was unconscious Monday till Thursday night he died, they said.

They were here at my place two weeks ago for an hour or so. Came by, Government had sent him to Jonesboro for a check up and x-ray. He wouldn't say much when I asked him how the picture showed up? I knew he wasn't feeling good. Said he hadn't had much appetite and only weighed 117 lbs., but his face looked bloated to full. He had to be back to Memphis to his work in a few hours. They told me he had to go to bed when they got there, got worse all the time, just up and down, started with a reel bad headache. Wouldn't give up, so finally Nell got the Dr., they took him to veterans hospital there in Memphis. They said the poison from his lungs went to his spine, caused him to have spinal meningitis. They were giving him penicillin, that drug they give for that, Dr. told them he had a 50, 50 chance, and a day and night before he died, pneumonia developed, Nell said.

We must be glad we didn't have to see him suffer, last day and night they wouldn't let her in. And it has been so hard for Gladys. They are expecting that baby in February, they had always wanted. Merritt was so proud, he called Vernon, and told him about it. Gladys said it was such a joy, just for him to know it. She is so proud and done all she could to brace up during it all - just for the baby sake - said she knew that's what Merritt would want her to do. She says she don't believe she could go on if it wasn't so. He told me a few months ago. He was afraid they couldn't ever have any children. He wished they could - he believed he could settle down - he has always been so restless. Just that he had to work all the time, and he got enough from government for them to live on - we all begged him not to work. He was so ambitious. All three brothers got here. Tom, Vernon, Leroy and two sisters, Nell and husband, Ola and family. Our two girls away working. Ruth in Little Rock. Bernice in St. Louis, they got here. I can tell my children loved him so much, it just hurt them so much. I just tell you Mae, it just kills me, and I know it does you. I don't know what I would give if I couldn't tell you all. Guess you knew his trouble was his lungs, after he had that pneumonia at sea, and got that fluid on that right one. There was a hardening of that lining around it, one was completely gone, it was starting on other, maybe more I don't know how bad.

We knew he couldn't have many years left but we didn't think of having to give it up so soon. It is so hard but God does all things well, we must try to be submissive to his will. We can't see thru it all, but he knows best. And I told the boys, we must try to live so we can meet it up there in heaven. I believe he has a home there. Merritt believed strongly and he always went to church, Sunday school with us when here. One time when he was going on those ships, I knew it was dangerous, I asked him about his soul condition. He told me he was saved back yonder, probably you know Mae. I hope so, he told me he was supposed to have been baptized but something hindered it. I'm so sorry, but we believe if you have faith and believe on him, you are saved, if you don't get baptized.

He was taken to our church, Lafe First Church for funeral service here. Sermon was so sweet and consoling. He talked about him doing so much for his country. And we wanted to have something military in it, for he was so patriotic. Government paid putting him away. Nice casket and clothes and big flag spread over casket. So many flowers. American Legion were pall bearers, quartet sang. Oh such a crowd I never saw at funeral church and yard full. It was so impressive, all so nice.

The songs, "America", real softly first. "An Empty Mansion", "How Beautiful Heaven Must Be", and last one as they passed and looked at him was, "Asleep In Jesus". Oh, it was so sweet, I told the girls, that last one was the one I wanted sung when I pass on. One thing Pastor brought out in his sermon. "He was just another war causality of war number 2. Our pastor lost their only boy last March on German soil. There is where he fell, said they didn't know where he was buried. He could understand it all and said it was really hard for him to preach the funeral. I know it was. Sweet I know it is so hard for you, but just trust in our precious savior. That is the only way we can endure it, not in our own strength but in his. That's what our Pastor told us.

They took a piece of ribbon off one of the flower wreaths. Ask me to send it to you as we had told them about you being his foster mother. We believe he would like you to have it. For he did love you so much, and Gladys told me to send the ribbon.*

My sister Ola, her baby is only 3 weeks old. I felt so sorry for her. Well its just almost killed all of us as I know it has you. But Gods will be done. Brothers and sisters all went back yesterday. Ruth is leaving on train next two hours. Bernice will go back tomorrow to their work.

May God bless and comfort you dear heart, darling. And bless your family. And write me. I'm so sorry I have neglected writing you, hope you are strong. Bye and Love..........

/signed/ Zephel