The following was sent to our Daughter - In - Law by her former
commander. At the time she had just been discharged from The United
States Air Force and joined her husband, our son, who is a member
of the United States Army.
She had forwarded on to us and I found it very enlightening. Especially
in view of what is happening in the world today, I thought it
should be shared with as many people as possible so they have
a better understanding of some of the things the spouses of our
military personal face.
Therefore I requested permission, and received it, from the author
to post this. I hope you find it enlightening and now understand
what the spouses of our military personnel have to face.
Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses ... how
special they are and the price they pay for freedom too. The funny
thing about it, is most military spouses don't consider themselves
different from other spouses.
They do what they have to do, bound together not by blood or merely
friendship, but with a shared spirit whose origin is in the very
essence of what love truly is. Is there truly a difference? I
think there is. You have to decide for yourself.
Other spouses get married and look forward to building equity
in a home and putting down family roots. Military spouses get
married and know they'll live in base housing or rent, and their
roots must be short so they can be transplanted frequently.
Other spouses decorate a home with flair and personality that will last a lifetime. Military spouses decorate a home with flare tempered with the knowledge that no two base houses have the same size windows or same size rooms. Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus. Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces.
Other spouses have living rooms that are immaculate and seldom
used. Military spouses have immaculate living room/dining room
combos. The coffee table got a scratch or two moving from Germany,
but it still looks pretty good.
Other spouses say good-bye to their spouse for a business trip
and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but
can survive. Military spouses say good-bye to their deploying
spouse and know they won't see them for months, or for a remote,
a year. They are lonely, but will survive.
Other spouses, when a washer hose blows off, call Maytag and
then write a check out for getting the hose reconnected. Military
spouses will cut the water off and fix it themselves.
Other spouses get used to saying "hello" to friends
they see all the time. Military spouses get used to saying "good-bye"
to friends made the last two years.
Other spouses worry about whether their child will be class
president next year. Military spouses worry about whether their
child will be accepted in yet another new school next year and
whether that school will be the worst in the city...again.
Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special events...birthdays,
anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even
the birth of a child. Military spouses only count on each other;
because they realize that the Flag has to come first if freedom
is to survive. It has to be that way.
Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled
across the globe and take them down when the troops come home.
Military spouses wear yellow ribbons around their hearts and they
never go away.
Other spouses worry about being late for mom's Thanksgiving dinner.
Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan in time for
dad's funeral.
And other spouses are touched by the television program showing
an elderly lady putting a card down in front of a long, black
wall that has names on it. The card simply says "Happy Birthday,
Sweetheart. You would have been sixty today." A military
spouse is the lady with the card. And the wall is the Vietnam
Memorial.
I would never say military spouses are better or worse than other
spouses are. But I will say there is a difference. And I will
say that our country asks more of military spouses than is asked
of other spouses. And I will say, without hesitation, that military
spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do their active
duty husbands or wives. Perhaps the price they pay is even higher.
Dying in service to our country isn't near as hard as loving someone
who has died in service to our country, and having to live without
them.
God bless our military spouses for all they freely give.
And God bless America.
By Colonel Steven Arrington
17th Training Wing vice commander
Goodfellow AFB San Angelo, Texas