roof repair

PORK CHOPS ROOFING

     Back in my child hood days this one spring we had a gaggle of storms. The wind huffed and puffed till it blew over trees, broke limbs from them and blew a lot of the old asphalt shingles from our roofs. Some of the old homes had sheet metal roofs and the wind blew some of those over into the next county. Was a major chore reroofing and cleaning up all the debris.      While repairing his roof old Pork Chop was jerked to the ground and dragged almost 200 feet when his wife drove away in the family car with his safety rope tied to the bumper!

      Pork Chop was hospitalized with a broken leg, cracked ribs, concussion and numerous bumps and bruises after the bizarre accident. But he told reporters in Lucky Town, Arkansas, that he's happy to be around to talk about his close call.

      "One second I was putting shingles on the roof and the next I was plowing up tomato plants in the garden," he continued. "Everything happened so fast it was like a dream. But I was in so much pain I knew that what was happening was real." Pork Chop said the drama unfolded a few minutes after he climbed onto the roof of his house to replace some weather-beaten shingles.

      He tied one end of a safety rope around his waist. He then threw the rope over the peak of the roof and down to his 9-year-old son and told him to attach it "to something secure." The dutiful child promptly tied the rope to the bumper of his mother's car and scampered off to a nearby park to play.

      "My wife and I spoke to each other as she got into the car to go shopping," said Pork Chop. "But neither of us noticed that the rope was tied to the bumper." "I turned around and started hammering on a shingle just as she pulled away. I hit the ground hard and shot right through the garden fence."

      "I figured I was dragged about 200 feet through the grass before the rope finally broke." Pork Chops ' wife Mary Jane didn't realize what happened and drove off into the distance. A neighbor found Pork Chop writhing in his front yard and called an ambulance. "I'm in no condition to spank my son even if I wanted to," said Pork Chop. "Actually, I don't think I need to. He knows his thoughtlessness almost killed daddy."

THE END

TOMMY JONES