"COLUMN ONE"
By Mary Mayo, Editor

Sure, it makes for topsy-turvy thinking that could get rediculously out of hand, but wouldn't it be nice . . .

IF green vegetables, which are good for children, tasted like chocolate candy and chocolate candy, which is bad for children, tasted like green vegetables?

And IF the little dears could only be born with the simple penchant for tidying up the place, emptying filled ashtrays into waste baskets (metal, of course) instead of strewing ashes the length of the living room and making surreptitious meals of the cigarette butts, broken matches, etc.?

IF the wind, instead of designating your backyard as the new city dump site would suddenly become selective, blowing in just crisp dollar bills or vacuum-cleaning the scene for a change?

IF the young-bloods of the town launched a mighty fad for "dragging" in its literal sense, moseying about the streets as quietly as though aboard rubber-tired surreys and stopping now and then to boast about their car's performance as the LOWEST known rate of travel?

IF the old fallacy of 50 weeks paid vacation and 2 weeks of tiresome toil actually became true and workable?

And IF the farmers hereabouts got whopping checks, not for what they raised but what they DIDN'T raise? . . .

But, as I said before, that just makes for topsy-turvy thinking that could get rediculously out of hand.

High schoolers should find the idea of starting back to school next August downright alluring if nice things continue to happen for their benefit. There's already a brand new malt shop underway with pale aqua walls and a sparkling glass and fieldstone facade beneath a big, impressive, "Trojan Grill" sign.

And almost directly across the street, a new branch library will await their more studious moods, and 5,000 books at their disposal. The conveniently located library right here in town should save a lot of trips to Tulsa for information the school library lacks, especially if Mrs. Claypool has an active part in selecting the new books.

Whether or not the library grows during the year following its opening depends upon the amount of circulation the books receive. So adult participation in the pleasure of reading now becomes a civic duty right along with encouraiging the kids to acquire the habit of checking out good books for home-type entertainment.

I love Lassie and Bob, Son of Battle and even the Big Bad Wolf has his interesting aspects but I must confess the only kindred spirit I've known in the pet world since my adult years was the old black tabby (now deceased) who used to perch atop our incinerator with the haughty bearing of one of the landed gentry to scare the hair off of any stray dog bent on snooping through the half-burned refuse. So go ahead and analyze my twisted personality.

There is a rumor concerning a couple of teen-age boys who slipped into a local tomato patch one recent night and yanked a hundred or so plants out by the roots. No particular motive instigated the act, they later admitted, no malicious intentions of any kind, no feelings of spite toward the planter; just nothing to do at the time and it seemed like fun . . .

Things like that make it seem pretty obvious some of us depend too much on the schools and churches to catch up on the training that should have begun at home years and years earlier. With two teen-agers at our house, I know full well I'm putting myself right out on a limb and sawing it off behind me, but on the other hand, it's experiences with these two and two older ones before them that keeps me remembering there are no 2-week vacations from the job of being a parent . . . not even, it often seems, a 15-minute coffee break.

May seems to offer about as many birthdays of important people as January and February. Some of those coming to me at the very last minute are Dorothy Stunkard's on the 20th; Claude Neff's on the 21st; Mrs. Neff's on the 23rd; and Bob Blevin's on the 22nd. And that probably doesn't begin to scratch the surface in a town with as many important people as Jenks can claim.