The Man From the Pru
by Lila Broadhurst
He saw t'advertisement in t'paper,
Wanted, a man for the Pru;
And he said to wife, 'now all of my life
That's just what I've wanted to do".
So he put his clean socks on, straightened his cap,
And wipe't pigeon muck from his shoes,
Straddled his bike, and called out to his wife;
"That's as good as my job at the Pru".
Cap in his hand, he took up his stand
In front of the worthy D.M
"I'm the man for you sir, I'll work 'ard I swear -
I'm a salesman, I know that I am".
D.M twitched his nose - said, "man look at your clothes, -
Not conservative, not even pressed;
And you speak like a navvy sir - no you'll not do;
Our men are the cream of the best".
The Super, with an "a-hem", reminded D.M.
They'd been advertising a year;
The patch was widespread, business there dead -
And the folks had been labelled 'right queer'.
D.M. had hard stared, with his nostrils all flared,
But agreed their last chance he could be;
So he gave him the roll that took him off the dole,
And a man of the Pru became he.
He rushed home to Mabel, sat down at the table,
And drew up a plan of campaign;
Said "by Gad I declare, I'll show that lot down there -
I'll make all of their efforts look tame".
Day and night he went out, on his bike round about,
Preaching a gospel anew;
And ere they realised, folks had gone o'er t'side
Of the flat capped 'Gallant' from the Pru.
He got so much business as t'staff counldn't cope,
And more staff had to be drafted in;
And a new wing was built to house that, that o'er spilt -
And they had to stop advertisin'.
Brittanic and t'Pearl were both in a whirl,
They didn't know what to do;
And Co-op went bust, 'cause it couldn't match t'thrust
And t'drive o' the bright spark from t'Pru.
His O.B. went up, his I.B. went up,
He was t'top man on t'Pru;
And when he'd got all of the town on his books
He went poaching on t'next agents too.
A one legged chap, said "I had a mishap,
I lost my left leg in my prime,
But I manage to drive, with a gadget devised
By a bright engineer mate of mine".
The man from the Pru said "We'll Insure you.
One leg isn't really so rare;
And to show faith in t'man, he drew up a plan,
T'got him t'job as chauffeur t'Lord Mayor.
Thrice divorced Dolly Brown, who was known about town
As being a bit of a swinger,
Said 'Will you call round and take my partic's down -
I've something I want to surrender".
"My policy's upping, not outing" he said;
I'll call round on you Dolly Brown;
And when you've listened to my proposition -
I'll take your particulars down".
He'd got every home insured double;
He knew all who were planning to wed;
He knew all the young lovers in trouble -
And all of the dying and dead.
Riding down t'hill on his bike late one night,
He saw a car t'wrong side of t'road with no lights;
Toes wiggled through t'window; well what could he do -
Save stick in a leaflet that said "come with t'Pru".
Maggie and Sid had a house full of kids,
Sid was a glutton Mag said;
When she asked what to do of the man from the Pru -
He said "Cut off his meat 'n' two veg".
A dancer, May Cleggs, with beautiful legs,
Said "I ought to insure them with t'Pru -
What do you think? She gave him a wink -
He said "I'll call round and see what's t'do".
Pregnant Sal Keats, fell in labour in t'street,
And t'ambulance couldn't get through;
But the crowd clapped and cheered when the infant was heard -
Safe delivered by t'man from the Pru.
Some agents were jealous, which made him more zealous,
'Cause 'Challenge' was his middle name;
And he'd make 'em more wild, by broadening his smile -
And doubling his target aim.
No one could mimic his magic,
His success formula nobody knew -
But the policy's came like confetti;
And just inundated the Pru.
They held functions in his honour,
And from all over England they came,
To try and glean from this 'Pru Machine'
The power behind the fame.
The agents they hated his record,
Its precedence set them a pace;
But the likes of him - never again
Will be the light of the race.
The secret gone, the legend lives on,
Bright as a star in space;
And give credit where due, the man from the Pru -
Died with a smile on his face.