The Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of
a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He
was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including
Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess
Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who
never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with
turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough
on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a
crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane
Dough, plus they had one in the oven.
He is also survived by his elderly
father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.