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Janet Muir's Story
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This journal is a story by James Muir of his sister, Janet, from her wedding to death (1808-1818). This is trascription of the original handwriting of James Muir. The text is as written. Note: Where we would now put two s's eg: careless, the style in those days was to write an f and an s - hence carelefs. Janet Muir was married at Paisley on Tuesday, April 12th 1808 to Allan Stewart son of Allan Stewart, Farmer Blackburn, in the Parish of Houston. They took up their residence in Glen Street, Paisley. This turned out a most unfortunate connexion. For some years after they were married he generally purchased lots of growing potatoes and disposed of them to shopkeepers, and customers, but he was exceedingly carelefs in collection his money, and more so in paying accounts to his creditors. His businefs was managed with great want of economy, and little of the money he received to the liquidation of his debts, or the support of his family, spending much of his time, and spending much of his money in the company of idle and foolish companions, in consequence of which he was unable to meet his engagements, and soon forced himself out of credit. At Whitsunday 1811 He removed with his family to Houston, but his conduct did not mend there. He was now however obliged to look after some employment in order to afford him support. But no minding to be constantly engaged in any useful employment, much of his time was taken up in the company of foolish and idle afsociates, and a great part of his earnings, were spent in their society, while only a small portion of them were applied to the support of his partner, and their young family. An instance of the foolishnefs of his conduct may be stated, At 8 Oclock of the evening of 30th Dec. 1813, his wife was delivered of a son, and at the time of her delivery he went out, and discharged a fowling piece at the very door. This inconsiderate conduct at this critical period, rendered her case exceedingly dangerous, and for some time her life was despaired of, and even in the time of her greatest distrefs she was used by him with the same indifference as formerly, and instead of working and pursuing a course of industry he still spent much of his time and wasted his means in the company of his profligate and idle afsociates. Still acting with the same carelefs indifference to the concerns of his family. During the Autumn of 1813, he had purchased several lots of growing corn and potatoes. Among there was a lot from Boyd Alexander Esq of Southbar for which he had a credit to the enfuing Candlemas, granting a bill for the amount. During the interim he had threshed out the crop and disposed of the produce, and in some shape or other wasted the money. The term of Candlemas came round, and he was found unable to meet his engagements, and diligence was used against him in order to procure payment of his bills. As he owed a considerable account my Father was advised to remove his wifes furniture which was accordingly done, at the mutual request of both Allan and his wife. In a day afterwards a mefsenger informed my Father that as he had taken and removed part of Allan's effects, Mr Alexander would hold him bound for the amount of the debt owing him. My Father had to employ a lawyer to defend his case. An inventory of the furniture was taken, and arrest made and the furniture was rouped (sic) at the Crofs of Paisley, on Friday 18th March 1814. My Father paid �2.11.8 of law expenses to John Crawford writer in defending his case, and Mr Alexander got the proceeds of the sale of the furniture amounting to �10.6s. During the month of January 1814 we had to send some person to Houston to take care of her and the children as they were quite neglected by him and his friends, and she was quite unable to do anything for herself. My Mother, my Father, sister Martha and the servant girl had each to take their turn in this humane work. She was so weak she could not stir from bed, she had no milk and the child had to be put out to nurse, the house was very cold, and the frost was intensely severe. (It was the memorable winter of 1814) her husband was wasting his time and his means with his idle and profligate companions, all which tended to deprefs her spirits and hurt her feelings. (summary of accounts (see below) inserted here) She never recovered for a long time after the birth of the child, and the grief and harsh usage she sustained tended to throw her into histeric fits and lownefs of spirits. As Allans bills became due at the term of Candlemas, and he was quite unprepared to meet them, he skulked for some days out of the way in dread of a jail. As we could not conveniently get attending to her and the family, we thought it best to get her brought home till see if things were brought to some kind of settlement. Accordingly weak as she was, and in that inclement season she was conveyed on the 1st of February 1814 from Houston to Yonderton. Mr Carlisle kindly favoured us with his bleachfield covered cart, and she lay stretched in it closely wrapt up in blankets. She was very much troubled with hysterics and a large gathering or tumor began on the loin. Many a weak day she had at Houston, and she was a long time at Yonderton before she was much better. Indeed in both places her life was several times despaired of, but her trials and sufferings were accumulated by the cruel conduct of one who instead of being her guardian and protector had only been a cross to her and the whole family. She was constantly confined to her bed till near the latter end of March when she began to revive a little and was able to rise a short time and move about the room. By the middle of April she could walk the length of the kitchen and look out at the front door. She continued slowly but gradually to improve in May, and though ever afterwards weak and delicate was considerably better during the summer. In September I went to Paisley, I took a room and she and the children lodged with me, when we stopt till Martinmas following (1814). Allan was occasionally employed during the summer, but he was chiefly engaged for several months working at a quarry with his brother in law at Greenock. At Martinmas he got a situation as ploughman ro Mr Gemmil of Park near Greenock. Considering this a permanent situation he wrote to his wife requesting her to come and stop with him and bring the children along with her, or if she did not come herself he would take the children away by force. She was much put about how to act, but after consulting her friends who in great measure left her to exercise her own judgement in the matter, and having received fresh promises of amendment from one who had too frequently broken oaths and promises before, she at last resolved to go. She accordingly left Paisley along with the children on the 19th November, and reached their destination in safety but only to be plunged into fresh calamities. Allan had got in to his new situation, and things were getting on pretty smoothly for two months when one day Robert Henderson who acted as Greive to Mr Alexander of Southbar, having pass to Greenock on businefs, and observing Allan at work near the road side, and learning that he had got in a permanent situation, on going home informed his master. A warrant was immediately issued for his apprehension, and he was on 27th January 1815 lodged in Greenock Jail on a charge for debt. Mr Alexander who had allowed him to go at large when he was not in regular employment now thought his friends would interfere and pay the debt in order to allow Allan to retain his permanent situation, but in this he was mistaken for his friends would make no advances for him, and he accordingly lay several months in jail and was at last relieved by Cefsio bonorum (sic). His brother William Stewart acted in Allans place during his confinement, and on his release from prison, his master has the goodness to reinstate him in his former situation. Allan continued for a year in this situation, and was pretty steady, and conducted himself with more propriety, than he had done for some time previous, and appeared to have learned a lefson from his misfortunes. But he was kept in his proper place by the foreman who looked after him and his fellow workers. He had now so far gained the confidence of his master that at Martinmas 1815 he was promoted to the charge of the work on the farm, to draw cash for the produce, and attend to and pay the workers. He being now left less under restraint, and having more means at his command, he soon forgot his work, and indulge in his foolish propensities in frequenting the tavern, in spending his time, his own and his masters money with idle and dissolute companions, much akin to himself. Such conduct although often overlooked by a kind and indulgent master could not long be tolerated, and of course, as might be expected led to his dismissal from his situation. During the second year of his residence at Park, his circumstances were somewhat improved , but this did not lead to a corresponding improvement in his character or his conduct, but quite the reverse. At times on quitting the tavern where he had been freely indulging with his gracelefs companions, he would on reaching his home, assail his poor wife and children with the greatest abuse, uttering the most horrid threatenings and imprecations, shocking to humanity, and more like a fiend than a man. Many a severe trial his poor wife suffered from him, and many a dreadful imprecation was poured upon his head which she would not exprefs to mortals, it was only known to God and herself. Through his cruel and harsh conduct his wife and family were kept in misery and poverty, and had not their wants been occasionally relieved by our family starvation would have been the sad result. This impudent conduct could not longer be tolerated even by his kind and too indulgent master, and had it not been for the sake of his poor wife and family, that master would not have allowed him to retain his situation so long. He was accordingly finally dismissed at Whitsunday 1817. My brother Alexander had formed the resolution of going out to America and he and I went down to Greenock on 15th May to look out for a suitable vessel to convey him thither. It was term day and on calling at Park, we found that Allan had got his leave, and was to remove that day from the house in order to make room for his successor. He had not been looking out for a place or a house, but we found him in Greenock in an intoxicated state enjoying himself as usual with his boon companions. My brother at parting gave Janet a few shillings as a temporary supply, and advised her to come up to Yonderton where her wants would be attended to as on former occasions. This offer she however declined at the time, and having procured temporary accommodation at Greenock she remained for three weeks, when absolute necefsity again obliged her to seek shelter for herself and family which was denied by her foolish and dissolute companion. Having on the 6th June got a conveyance for herself and the children with a country cart from Greenock till the neighbourhood of Houston, she reached the village on foot, and stayed in the house of her mother in law for the night. She left Allan the oldest boy under the care of his grandmother, at Houston. He was about 5 � years of age. She was herself at a lofs what course to steer. She sometimes thought she would not go back among her friends, but on second thoughts she found this was impracticable, as she could not provide for the children that accompanied her. Martha the eldest was 9 years of age Alexander 3 � years and John an infant of 9 months, at length although reluctantly she resolved to bend her steps towards her Fathers house. Arriving at he the march betwixt his and the adjoining farm, weary, fatigued and broken hearted, she sat down with her children by her side. My brother Alexander observing her advanced to meet her and kinly welcomed her to the paternal roof. She expected however that the Yonderton would only require to be a temporary residence for her and the children, as Allan had promised to take a house in Paisley for them. But he was quite carelefs in looking after a house for his family, and only took a days work occasionally when it fitted his convenience. He was a man possessed of great muscular strength, but did not apply it to good purpose; not caring to provide for his own, thereby denying the faith, and being worse than an infidel. The Yonderton had therefore to become the permanent abode of the family, and it was a providencial (sic) circumstance that it was so, for the seeds of disease had now taken such a firm hold of her constitution that she was into a decline, and had only come to her Fathers house to droop and die. A fter the birth of Alexander she was a long time in a very weakly condition. The doctor ordered her to wear flannels, with which she was supplied from our house. When at Park these were worn out, and when she requested a flannel shirt from Allan he would not give it, she had to put on cotton shirts; the consequence was that she took a weed, was confined to bed for a fortnight, and never recovered strength afterwards, but gradually declined. July 1st 1817 - The Yonderton was now in a very dull state. My Father had resigned his lease of the Farm. My Brother Alexander was on the eve of leaving for America, My Mother was in a very delicate state of health, and sister Janet was also in a state of decline. One day about the end of July Janet paid her last visit to Paisley. She had occasion to buy some clothes for the children, and got some medicines from the doctor and ask his advice. He said to her, poor woman, you should not be so far from home, take care of yourself you are worse than you are aware of. Allan fell in with her that day and followed her out of the town, but instead of administering a word of comfort to her, he poured out upon her such a storm of abuse and horrid imprecations in such a threatening manner that she was afraid he would have laid violent hands upon her. This proved a severe stroke to her feelings, a death wound to her heart, and tended to hurry her to an early grave. During the remainder of August her strength gradually declined later in rising than usual, generally when the weather permitted able to take a walk in the afternoon, at other times almost confined to the house. During September she was much in the same state, as in the preceding month, some days however she was weaker. During October she declined more rapid. She was able to rise a little in the afternoon. Her infant son died at Yonderton of teething fever on the 10th Oct aged 13 months. (John). During November gradually getting weaker, chiefly confined to bed, but generally able to rise a little in the afternoon. On an individual exprefsing his hopes of her getting better, she said she would never see another spring. During December, gradually getting weaker. Chiefly confined to bed, and able to rise a little in the afternoon. Able with afsistance to walk to the kitchen door till the end of the month. January 1818. During this month now much weaker, constantly confined to bed, and cannot turn herself without assistance. Allan visits her about once a month. Never brings a single cordial, or administers a comforting word, but looks on with stoical indifference. Janet is daily getting weaker. She can scarce take any nourishment, and her body is very much wasted. She is constantly confined to bed, but is generally assisted to rise, and go to the room fire for a few minutes in the afternoon in order to get the bed made down. In the beginning of February still growing gradually weaker unable to move without afsistance can take very little nourishment has a severe cough and a great deal of spitting, with a strong hectic fever, and her mortal frame appears to be fast approaching to dissolution. On the 4th of February my sister Martha took ill of a nervous fever, attended with a strong inflammation. My Mother is also in a very delicate state of health. The Yonderton is at present a little infirmary, One sister lying at the point of death, another in the height of a fever, and my mother in a very delicate state of health, and constantly worn out by attendance on her sick family. The only other female attendant was the servant maid (Flora) who was diligent in her attention to the wants of the family and her domestic duties. February 12. Janet is now exceedingly weak, she cannot stir without assistance, is unable to take any nourishment except a little wine, she has a strong hectic fever, and to human appearance cannot stand it long. May the Lord prepare her and all of us for our latter end. February 17. Janet is daily getting weaker, and a great change in her appearance to the worse. She does not cough so freely as she was wont to do. She is more stifled than formerly, but she is so weak that she has not strength to get up from the cough. From her long confinement, and being unable to take nourishment her form is wasted almost to a shadow. She is however quite sensible, and feels that she is sinking into the grave. Every day is making a sad change upon her body, and the numbered hour is on the wing that will lay her with the dead. O that as her body decays, that her inward man may be renewed, that her faith in Jesus may be increased, that she may be clothed with his imputed righteousnefs, and made meet to become an inheritor of the saints in light. Lord prepare her for the solemn event, and when she walks through the valley of the shadow of death may she fear no evil. Be thou with her, may thy rod and thy staff comfort her, and may she dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. February 18. Janet is very weak this morning. I sat with her last night. My Mother is much exhausted, the servant maid is also much fatigued. Janet requires to be attended night and day, and we take night about in watching. But this will not last long, as long trouble and severe trouble will come to an end. Janet still continues very weak. She had a very severe turn this afternoon. I was at Renfrew during the day, and reached home at half past six O'clock. I entered her room and approached her bedside. She had recovered herself a little, and quite sensible. She held out her hand towards me, I received it and we shook hands. Her hand felt somewhat cold. She took a firm hold of my hand, and looked steadfastly in my face. I asked her how she felt? She replied, very weakly. Then raising her voice a little, she said "This is death, remember that every one of you" She took my hand in hers and laid it on her brow, which was wet with a cold clammy sweat. She had this sweating since she grew so weak, arising from her hectic fever. Thursday February 19. She had a very weakly night, last night, but appeared to be much in the same weak state that she was in yesterday morning. She was weak all day with a strong hectic sweat upon her face. She continued in nearly the same weak state till four O'clock in the afternoon when she desired my mother to make ready a little wine and water for her, as she felt getting worse. This was accordingly done, but she was not allowed to taste it having to struggle with the agonies of death. She gradually got weaker, and after some time made a motion with her hand and shortly after twice drew up her shoulders, and stretching out her hands expired. My Father and mother and the servant maid Flora were the only persons present at the time. Sister Martha was so weak she could not come out of bed. She was afterwards afsisted out to see her sisters corpse. I hesitated going to Renfrew that morning but went after breakfast but felt uneasy, and returned home at five O'clock. Thomas was at Paisley and did not return till some time after. She died at half past four O'clock being 19th February 1818. _________________________ Why should we mourn departed friends. Why shake at deaths alarms? 'Tis but the voice that Jesus sends, To call the to his arms. During the period and almost from the commencement of her illnefs she entertained little hopes of her recovery. A visitor occaisionally remarked that she might recruit again in the spring, but she said she would never live to see another spring. She was therefore fully resigned to her fate and the approach of death did not strike her with alarm, or take her by surprise. She endured with much patience and resignation, the severe trouble inside which she so long laboured, and was pleased with every thing that was done for her not a murmur escaping from her lips. She gave me the rings from her fingers eight days before she died, and said she would never require to put them on her hands again. She often expressed her gratitude to Alexander for his kindnefs to her the last time she came home, when she had sat down at the march hesitating whether to come any farther or not; when he observed her, went forward and met her, and introduced her into the house, and welcomed her to our hospitable board. During her illnefs she employed the short intervals of relief from pain in the concerns of the soul, and in the important matters of religion. She did not make her complaints to man, but frequent and fervent were her applications at a throne of Grace for mercy to pardon and grace to help her in the time of need. May we humbly hope she has gone to Heaven to taste the joys and the happiness of those who through much tribulation inherit the kingdom. No person came to the house on the evening of the 19th except Aunt at Yonderton. She came an hour after sister died. It was then the custom to sit up with the corpse. Flora and I sat that night. During the night I was very much grieved and could not help often giving vent to my feelings in a flood of tears. But weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning. For next morning I receive strong consolation, and the following thoughts came into my mind, as clear and distinct as if they had been repeated in my ears, and I thought I heard the deceased exprefs herself as follows, Greive not for me Dear James, I am happy. All my troubles and trials on earth are now ended, but I have entered on a state of happinefs which shall never end. You nor indeed none of your Fathers family have any cause for reflexion. You have been kind and affectionate to me when in life. The Lord will reward you for the kindnefs you have shown me although I could not. I now leave my children in your care, as it was among my last words to them to stop with you as long as they could. She has now got over all her earthly troubles, and we would fondly hope that her soul rests in Jesus, in whom alone we need to look for salvation. Allan generally paid her a visit once a month. On these occasions he did not stop long. He looked upon her distefs with cold indifference, assuming it to be in a great measure feigned. He did not leave any money for the support of herself and the children. He did not bring any cordial, or administer any word of comfort. He was engaged at the time as a sawyer and being a strong and powerful man, was able when he liked to make excellent wages. He was working in Paisley. The last time he was down was about a month before this. He had promised to be down this week. Notice was sent to him on the 20th of Janets death. He came down on the afternoon of Saturday the 21st. He expressed a wish to see the corpse. The servant admitted him into the room, and then retired. There was no other person in the room except sister Martha, who was weak and confined to bed with the nervous fever. Observing Allan she drew aside the curtains, and addrefsed him some things that Janet had bid her say to him. Allan, says she, You will not need to curse Janet any more, You were wont to look lightly on her trouble. Take off these sheets and see that spent body, it may convince you of the severe trouble she has suffered. You were not pleased at her stopping here, nor would you provide a house or a home for her and the children, which it was your bounden duty to do, but she will soon be placed in a lodging which you cannot drive her from. My mother entering the room said several things to him. Janet had said that before he left the world something would be seen on him that would show what sort of a man he had been. He slightly removed to cover from the face of the corpse, and then drew back, and stood a short time like a condemned criminal, and soon after retired. What were his feelings at the moment, I cannot say, but I think they must have been far from enviable. The corpse were soon after put into the coffin, but Allan was not invited to wait. Arrangements had now to be made for the funeral. This duty also lay on our family. Arthur Smith was instructed to make the coffin, and John McLean was ordered to furnish wine and biscuit for the company who attended the funeral. The funeral took place on Monday the 23rd February. About eighty persons attended. Allan was the last person that came, only arriving immediately before the service began, and he left the church yard as soon as the coffin was lowered in to the grave. He acted as chief mourner. The remains were deposited in the family burying ground in Inchinnan Church Yard. A Mortsafe was placed in the grave to prevent the corpse from being uplifted. Janet was aged 30 years and 4 months, and it is 10 years lefs 2 months since she was married during which time she has suffered severe privations. It has been said that a lafs that has many suiters oft took the worst and such appears to have been her case. Several individuals who had paid their addrefses to her, and among the rest John Snodgrass of Portnauld who had a particular regards for her, would have been happy in receiving her as a partner, and with whom she might have been comfortable, but in the circumstances in which she was placed it was her lot to take one who proved false and faithlefs to his vows, and regardlefs of the duties incumbent on him as a husband and a parent. Regardlefs of these duties, he often left his family unprotected and unprovided for, and had they not have found an assylum under my Fathers hospitable roof, their case would have been miserable indeed. This created a considerable expense in my Fathers family, but this harsh usage Janet received from him crushed her spirits, brought on premature decay, and sent her to an early grave. Besides all this my mother being long in a delicate state, it tended very much to hurt her health, the constant anxiety, care and attention being necefsary to attend to the wants of this family rendered destitute by the imprudence of their legal head and guardian. Besides it tended to hurt the whole family, for when one member suffers all the rest of the members suffer with it. Allan has since said that he intends to take away the children. But he did not carry out his intentions, as he found it cheaper to get his friends to support them. Accordingly Allan the oldest son now 6 years old remains with his Grandmother at Houston, where he was left in June past. Martha now nine and Alexander four years of age remain with us and were educated and brought up in our family. An Account of Allan Stewart to Alexander Muir, Yonderton 1810 Allan Stewart To Alexander Muir Sept 30 To 5 acres 20 falls of } growing potatoes �20 } �102.10/- The above were never paid. ______________________________ Articles purchased by our desire by John McLean at Allan Stewarts Roup. 18th March 1814. Chest of drawers cost �5.5/- Bot in �3.16/- Mahogany Table " �3 Bot in �1.14/- 6 stuff bottomed chairs .18/ �5.8/- Bot in �3.12/- 2 " " Elbow " .22/ �2.4/- Bot in �1.4/- Cost Price �15.17/- Bot in at �10.6/- |
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