At this stage Her Majesty, with much graciousness and charm of manner, conferred the Insignia of the Most Unfathomable Order of the Deep Sea Needle, First Class, upon Lady Jellicoe, and the Order of the Mermaid upon Mrs. Share, who came forward and curtsied gracefully. The King then continued speaking:

On this same spot, as you may know,
We held a Court some years ago,
Before the days of Scapa Flow,
That bleak and barren harbour.
We've heard about the Firth of Forth;
And all your gallant deeds up North
Were told Us by Our Barber.
Though seldom 'tis We have a moan,
To one complaint We're forced to own
Against the Royal Navy.
Throughout these awful years of war
Too many submarines by far
You sent down to Our Davy.
Those U Boat's Crews We well could spare,
They're far from popular down there; (pointing)
Our realm became disjointed.

And. then We'd like to add a word
About that nonsense so absurd,
Pointless yet fourteen pointed.
There is a " Freedom of the Seas, "
But Wilson does not hold the keys
To open or to lock it.
That Freedom's found here on Our Line,
The keys as well-for they are Mine!
I have them in My pocket.
And this suggests the treat in store
For those We've never met before,
We'll have them separated.
Before Ourself and Amphitrite
According to the ancient rite
They'll be initiated.
And if successfully they cope
With Order of the Bath and Soap
We'll have them decorated.
Then Surgeon, Barber, Police, stand by
And order every novice nigh
In order precedented.
And one by one by rule of rank
To Surgeon, Barber, and to Tank
They now shall be presented.

Your Majesty, we are as pleased as may be
With Your orders, Your speech, and Your letter.
It's a pleasure to tell that You're looking so well,
For I've seldom seen You looking better.
Her Majesty sweet. I'm delighted to greet
Sire, how could You manage without Her?
When I last met Your Queen She was terribly lean,
I'm happy to see that She's stouter.

ARRIVAL OF KING NEPTUNE AND QUEEN AMPHITRITE

(Their Majesties proceeding towards the Ceremonial Throne)

My wife, Sir, and I, would have wished to reply
To Your kindness in far greater detail,
But time it runs short, I'm detaining the Court,
So Your bounty I've no time to retail;
But this I must say in a very brief way,
'Twas through love of the sea and of You, Sir,
That we vanquished the Hun in the way we have done,
And we're telling the Empire right through, Sir,
That safe we shall be while we stick to the Sea,
And we'll ne'er have a cause to regret it
If Neptune's our friend, we shall win in the end,
And I pray we may never forget it.

^ back to top ^