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Chapter XII
ODDLY enough, no record exists of the origin of his nickname."Periwinkle"he had been all through crammer and Britannia days. As senior Signal Midshipman of the Mediterranean Flagship, he was still"The Periwinkle,"small for his years, skinny as a weasel, with straight black hair, and grey eyes set wide apart in a brown face; the eyelashes, black and short, grew very close together, which gave him the perpetual appearance of having recently coated ship and neglected to clean the dust from his eyes.
The Signal Midshipmen of a fleet, especially the Mediterranean Fleet of those days, were essentially keen on their"job."The nature of the work and inter-ship rivalry provided for that. But with the Periwinkle, Signals were more than a mere"job."They foamed his creed and recreation: the flag lockers were tarpaulin-covered shrines; the, semaphores spoke oracles by day as did the flashing lamps by night. And the high priest of these mysteries was the Flag-Lieutenant, a Rugby International and right good fellow withal, but, to the Periwinkle, a very god who walked among men.
To understand something of his hero-worship you would need to have been an the bridge when the Fleet put out to sea for tactics. It was sufficient for the Periwinkle to watch this immaculate, imperturbable being snap out a string of signals apparently from memory, as he so often did, while hoist after hoist of flags leaped from the lockers and sped skywards, and the bridge was a whirl of bunting. Even the Admiral, who spoke so little and saw so much, was in danger of becoming a mere puppet in the boy's sight.
But there was more than this to encourage his ardour. The Flag-Lieutenant, recognising the material of a signalman of unusual promise, would invite the Periwinkle to his cabin after dinner and unfold, with the aid of printed diagrams and little brass oblongs representing ships, the tactical and strategical mysteries of his craft. There was one unforgettable forgettable evening, too, when the Periwinkle was bidden to dinner ashore at the Malta Club. The dinner was followed by a dance, whereat, in further token of esteem, the Flag-Lieutenant introduced him to a lady of surpassing loveliness. The Fairest (the Periwinkle was given to understand) of All the Pippins.
The spring gave place to summer, and the island became a glaring wilderness of sunbaked rock. For obscure reasons of policy the Fleet remained at Malta instead of departing on its usual cruise, and week after week the sun blazed pitilessly down on the awnings of the anchored ships. Week by week the Periwinkle grew more brown and angular, and lost a little more of his wiry activity. The frequent stampedes up and down ladders with signals for the Admiral sent him into a lather like a nervous horse; at the end of a watch his hair was wet with perspiration and his whites hung clammily on his meagre limbs. After a while, too, he began to find the glare tell, and to ease the aching of his eyes, had sometimes to shift the telescope from one eye to the other in the middle of a signal. As a matter of fact, there was no necessity for him to read signals at all: that was part of the signs man's duty. And if he had chosen to be more leisurely in his ascent and descent of ladders, no one would have called him to account. But his zeal was a flame within him, and terror lest he earned a rebuke from the Flag-Lieutenant for lack of smartness, lent wings to his tired heels.
It was August when the Flag-Lieutenant sought out the Fleet Surgeon in the Wardroom after dinner, and broached the subject of the Periwinkle.
"P. M. O., I wish you'd have a look at that shrimp; he's knocking himself up in this heat. He swears he's all right, but he looks fit for nothing but hospital."
So the Periwinkle was summoned to the Fleet Surgeon's cabin. Vehemently he asserted that he had never felt better in his life, and the most the fatherly old Irishman could extort from him was the admission that he had not been sleeping particularly well. As a matter of fact he had not slept for three nights past; but fear lest he should be"put on the list"forbade his admitting either this or the shooting pain behind his eyes, which by now was almost continual. The outcome of the interview, however, was an order to turn in forthwith. Next morning the Periwinkle was ignominiously hoisted over the side in a cot-loudly protesting at the indignity of not even being allowed to walk - en route for Bighi Hospital as a fever patient.
II
The news of the world is transmitted to Naval Stations abroad by cable, and promulgated by means of Wireless Telegraphy to ships cruising or out of reach of visual signalling. At Malta the news is distributed to ships present in harbour by semaphore from the Castile, an eminence above the town of Valletta, commanding the Grand Harbour and nearly opposite the Naval Hospital.
One morning a group of convalescents were sunning themselves on the balcony of the hospital, and one, watching the life of the harbour through a telescope, suddenly exclaimed,"Stand by ! They're going to make the Reuter Telegram. I wonder how the Navy got on at Lords."
"It's hopeless trying to read it,"said .another,"they make it at such a beastly rate."
The Periwinkle, fuming in bed in an adjacent ward, overheard the speaker. In a second he was on his feet and at the open window, a tousled-haired object in striped pyjamas, crinkling his eyes in the glare."I can read it, sir; lend me the glass."
"You ought to be in bed, my son. Haven't you got Malta Fever?"
"It's very slight,"replied the Periwinkle, as indeed it was, -"and I'm quite as warm out here as in bed. May I borrow your glass?"
He took the telescope and steadied it against a pillar. The distant semaphore began waving, and the group of convalescents settled down to listen. But no sound came from the boy. He was standing with the eye-piece held to his right eye, motionless as a statue. A light wind fluttered the gaudy pyjamas, and their owner lowered the glass with a little frown, half puzzled, half. irritated.
"I-it's-there's something wrong -"he began, and abruptly put the glass to his left eve."Ah, that's better . . . ."He commenced reading, but in a minute or two his voice faltered and trailed off into silence. He changed the glass to his right, and back to his left eye. Then, lowering it, turned a white scared face to the seated group."I'm afraid I can't read any more,"he said in a curiously dry voice;"I - it hurts my eyes."
He returned the glass to its owner and hopped back into bed, where ha sat with the clothes drawn up under his chin, sweating lightly.
After a while he closed his left eye and looked cautiously round the room. The taps of objects appeared indistinctly out of a grey mist. It was like looking at a partly fogged negative. He closed his right eye and repeated the process with the other. His field of vision was clear then, except for a speck of grey fog that hung threateningly in the upper left-hand corner.
By dinner-time he could see nothing with the right eye, and the fog had closed on half the left eye's vision.
At tea-time he called the Sister on duty
"My eyes-hurt . . . frightfully."Thus the Periwinkle, striving to hedge with Destiny.
"Do they?"sympathised the Sister."I'll tell the Surgeon when he comes round tonight, and he'll give you something for them. I shouldn't read for the present if I were you."
The Periwinkle smiled grimly, as if she had made a joke, and lay back, every nerve in his body strung to breaking-point.
"Can't see, eh?"The visiting Surgeon, who leaned over his bed a few hours later looked at him from under puzzled brows."Can't see - d'you mean . . . ."He picked up an illustrated paper, holding it about a. yard away, and pointed to a word in bloc type:"What's this word?"
The Periwinkle stared past him with a facto like a flint."I can't see the paper. I can't see you . . . or the room, or-or-anything...... . . . I'm blind."His voice trembled.
To the terror by night that followed way added physical pain past anything he had experienced or imagined in his short life. It almost amazed him that anything could hurt so much and not rob him of consciousness. The next room held a sufferer who raved in delirium: cursing, praying, and shrieking alternately. The tortured voice rose in the stillness of the night to a howl, and the Periwinkle set his teeth grimly. He was not alone in torment, but his was still the power to meet it like a man.
By the end of a week the pain had left him. At intervals during this period he was guided to a dark room - for the matter of that, all rooms were dark to him - and unseen beings bandied strange technicalities about his ears."Optic neuritis . . . retro-bulbar.... , , , atrophy."The words meant nothing to the boy, and their meaning mattered less. For nothing, they told him, could give him back his sight. After that they left him alone, to wait with what patience he might until the next P. & O. steamer passed through.
His first visitor was the Chaplain, the most well-meaning of man, whose voice quavered with pity as he spoke at some length of resignation and the beauty of cheerfulness in affliction. On his departure, the Periwinkle caught the rustle of the Sister's dress.
"Sister,"said the boy,"will you please go away for a few minutes. I'm afraid I have to swear-out loud."
"But you mustn't,"she expostulated, slightly taken aback."It's-it's very wicked."
"Can't help that,"replied the Periwinkle austerely."Please go at once; I'm going to begin."
Scandalised and offended - as well she might be - she left the Periwinkle to his godless self, and he swore aloud - satisfying, unintelligible, senseless lower-deckese. But when she brought him his tea an hour later: she found he had the grace to look ashamed of himself, and forgave him. They subsequently became great friends, and at the Periwinkle's dictation, she wrote long cheerful letters that began:"My dear Mother,"and generally ended in suspicious-looking smudges.
Every one visited the Periwinkle. His brethren from the Fleet arrived, bearing as gifts strange and awful delicacies that usually had to be confiscated, sympathising with the queer, clumsy tenderness of boyhood. The Flag-Lieutenant came often, always cheerful and optimistic, forbearing to voice a word of pity: for this the Periwinkle was inexpressibly grateful. He even brought the Fairest o� All the Pippins, but the boy shrank a little from the tell-tale tremor she could never quite keep out of her voice. Her parting gift was an armful of roses, and on leaving she bent over till he could smell the faint scent of her hair."Good-bye,"she whispered;"go on being brave,"and, to his wrathful astonishment, kissed him lightly on the mouth.
There was the Admiral's wife too - childless herself who, from long dealings with men, had acquired a brusque, almost masculine manner. As soon as he had satisfied himself that she evinced no outward desire to"slobber,"the Periwinkle admitted her to his friendship. He subsequently confessed to the Sister that, for a woman, she read aloud extremely well."Well, I must be goin',"she said one day at parting."I'll bring John up to see you to-morrow."When she had gone, the Periwinkle smote his pillow."John !"he gasped.
"John"was the Admiral.
Even the crew of his cutter - just the ordinary rapscallion duty-crew of the boat he had commanded - trudged up one sweltering Sunday afternoon, and were ushered with creaking boots and moist, shiny faces into his ward.
"Bein' as we 'ad an arfternoon orf, sir,"began the spokesman, who was also the Coxswain of the boat. But at the sight of the wavering, sightless eyes, although prompted by nudges and husky whispers, he forgot his carefully-prepared sentences.
"We reckoned we'd come an' give you a chuck-up, like, sir,"concluded another, and instead of the elaborate speech they had deemed the occasion demanded, they told him of their victory in a three-mile race over a rival cutter. How afterwards they had generously fraternised with the vanquished crew, so generously that the port stroke"'im as we calls 'Nobby' Clark, sir, if you remembers"was at that moment languishing in a cell, as a result of the lavish hospitality that had prevailed. Finally, the Periwinkle extended a thin hand to the darkness, to be gripped in turn by fourteen leathery fists, ere their owners tiptoed out of the room and out of his life.
III.
The Periwinkle found blindness an easier matter to bear in the ward of a hospital than on board the P. & O. Liner by which he was invalided home. A Naval Sick-berth Steward attended to his wants, helped him to dress, and looked after him generally. But every familiar smell and sound of ship-life awoke poignant memories of the ship-life of former days, and filled him with bitter woe. He was morbidly sensitive of his blindness, too, and for days moped in his cabin alone, fiercely repelling any attempt at sympathy or companionship. Then, by degrees, the ship's doctor coaxed him up into a deck-chair, and sat beside him, warding off intruders and telling stories with the inimitable drollery that is the heritage of the surgeons of P. & O. Liners. And at night, when the decks were clear, and every throb of the propellers was a reminder of the home they were drawing near to, he would link his arm loosely within the boy's and together they would. walk to and fro. During these promenades he invariably treated the Periwinkle as a man of advanced years and experience, whereby was no little balm in Gilead.
Many people tried to make a fuss of the boy with the sullen mouth, whose cheek-bones looked as if they were coming through the skin, and who had such a sad story. Wealthy globe-trotters, Anglo-Indians, missionaries, and ladies of singular charm and beauty, all strove according to their lights to comfort him. But by degrees they realised he never wanted to play cat's-cradle or even discuss his mother, and so left him in peace.
But the boy had a friend beside the doctor, a grizzled major from an Indian Frontier regiment, returning home on furlough with a V.C. tacked on to his unpretentious name. At first the Periwinkle rather shrank from a fresh acquaintance - it is a terrible thing to have to shake hands with an unknown voice. But he was an incorrigible little hero-worshipper, and this man with the deep steady voice had done and seen wonderful things. Further, he didn't mind talking about them - to the Periwinkle; so that the boy, as he sat clasping his ankles and staring out to sea with sightless eyes, was told stories which, a week later, the newspaper reporters of the Kingdom desired to hear in vain.
He was a philosopher too, this bronzed; grey-haired warrior with the sun-puckered eyes: teaching how, if you only take the trouble to look for it, a golden thread of humour runs through all the sombre warp and woof of life; and of"Hope which . . . outwears the accidents of life and reaches with tremulous hand beyond the grave and death."
This is the nicest sort of philosophy.
But for all that it was a weary voyage, and the Periwinkle was a brown-faced ghost, all knees and elbows and angularities by the time Tilbury was reached. The first to board the ship was a lady, pale and sweetly dignified, whom the doctor met at the gangway and piloted to the Periwinkle's cabin. He opened the door before he turned and fled, and so heard; in her greeting of the Periwinkle, the infinite love and compassion that can thrill a woman's voice.
In a corner of the railway carriage that carried them home, the Periwinkle - that maimed and battered knight-still clung to the haft of his broken sword."I meant to do so jolly well. Oh, mother, I meant you to be so jolly proud of me. The Flag-Lieutenant said I might have been . . . if only it had been an arm or a leg - deaf or dumb . . . but here's nothing left in all the world . , , it's empty-nothing remains."
She waited till the storms of self-pity and rebellion passed, leaving him biting his fingers and breathing hard. Then little by little, with mysterious tenderness, she drew out the iron that had entered the boyish soul. And, at the last, he turned to her with a little fluttering sigh, as a very tired child abandons a puzzle. She bent her head low�
"This remains,"she whispered.
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