The Kansas Dorothy Caper
Although this isn't a Sea Story, I thought it was good
enough to be included in these pages.
Copyright © Frank O. Dodge. All rights
THE KANSAS DOROTHY CAPER
FROM: Sam Spatula, P.I.
TO: Ante M.
SUBJ: Dorothy Gee.
Pursuant to your instructions, I have instituted
inquiries and must inform you that your suspicions are confirmed. Your niece
is mob connected. Her underworld moniker is Kansas Dorothy, and she is known
as one stone cold chick. I am certain that she is the hitter for the 'Emerald
Checking out certain leads, I have uncovered the following. Thursday last,
while accompanied by her sidekick, T. O. Toe, she took the Tornado express
to Ozville, where she aced out an old lady by the name of W. W. O' East.
The poor old broad looked like a house had fallen on her. But O' East wasn't
Dorothy's prime target. She proceeded to an address on Y. B. Road where she
contacted a real rube, better known as S. Kare Crowe. Crowe lived so far
out in the sticks that his head was stuffed with straw.
Then your gal, along with Crowe, contacted a third party by the name of T.
N. Mann. Mann quickly added his input and suggested a fourth partner, known
widely as C. Wardly Lyon.
Now with her hit team in place, Kansas Dorothy reported to the big man, W.
I. Zard, to brief him on the real target, O' East's sister, W. W. O' West.
Zard told Dot it wasn't going to be as easy getting close to O' West
as it was getting to O' East. O' West had a heavily guarded estate
with a veritable army of security guards and a house that was almost as
impregnable as any castle. But with her team, T. O. Toe, S. Kare
Crowe, T. N. Mann and C. Wardly Lyon, she should be able to penetrate
security and carry out the hit.
Dorothy's team took position on a ridge with a good view of O' West's main
gate. They were in luck, as it was time for the changing of the guard,
and they quickly over-powered five security guards. Then, changing into their
uniforms, they were able to enter the mansion without incident.
Shortly after penetration, the team was discovered, but eluded pursuit and
cornered O'West and silenced her by sticking her head in a bucket of water.
Security, now having worked themselves out of a job, shrugged their
shoulders and quit, telling Dorothy that O'West was a lousy employer
Dorothy reported back to W. I. Zard, mission accomplished. The whole team,
except for T. O. Toe, elected to remain in Zard's employ. When asked what
her plans were, Kansas Dorothy clicked her heels and winked. "There's
no place like home," she said.
END OF REPORT
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