1) My Latest Sitrept
Sitrept #13 251807Z OCT
Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2003 2:07 PM
Subject: SATURDAY - POST WALK 1407
non-stop here all
these non-stop signs...if you haven't, you're seeing one now.
Hit the road
shortly after eight, Jeeping up to the entranceway, and then walking the Publix
Shopping Centre...Derby's favorite place. However, I avoided the immediate front
to Publix, instead circumnavigating the place using the sidewalks. Her favorite
route however, is to pass by the automatic doors to Publix, which open
seemingly on her command so she can savor the
delightful food fragrances that spill out. She'd be in the store in a
flash if not on her leash...boy, what an adventure that would be for her.
Then it was
home, and first thing was to clean Derby's hair brushes prior to bathing her.
Actually, cleaning those brushes is almost a daily thing. Anyways, with the
brushes sanitized, it was time to sweep, and swab the patio...oops - lanai,
henceforth - porch. The porch gets dusty in a day...dirty place this Merritt
Island. Then I gathered Derby up, removed her collar, and placed her in the deep
sink in the garage. We have a hose with shower attachment on the faucet,
something I don't think Derby likes, because she always points her rear-end
towards it...her stance being diagonal to the square sink, with her head outside
the one corner...she doesn't like water on her head. However, the rest is okay,
just the head, but that is as dirty as the rest of her, and though I too don't
much care for getting her head wet, we must, and it has to be washed just as
thoroughly as her rear...you should see the stuph she thrusts her head into.
being clean, but not cleaned. There's no point in just getting her wet...she is
a real stinky-poo, smelling very similar to the Mar Del Plata fishing piers. Mar
Del Plata is the Miami of Argentina...just a hundred or so miles from Buenos
Aires. Having spent almost a year there tracking the Sky Lab...real arduous
duty, the fishing port was a favorite place of mine to meander. So, needless to
say, I can identify the scent of that place anywheres, and Derby is it.
smell "doggy", but Derby has to be different, smelling like dead fish...by the
ton, or boat-load, or better yet, the whole fishing port. Even as a brand-new
puppy she has smelled like that. Now mind you, not the Fulton Fish market in
Manhattan, nor others around the world, just that one in Argentina, which
leaves me to suspect she's originally from there.
to the bathing thing....It's not an easy job de-scenting something that
approaches such proportions, but eventually, after alot of sudszing...oops,
there's no "z" - sudsing with her prescribed shampoo containing aloe, and
oatmeal, her South American smell begins to wane...but not completely. Next
is her medicated, antiseptic, antimicrobial shampoo for dermatological
problems...simply put - itchy-scratchy stuph. It contains chlorhexidine
gluconate, and a dozen other things similar to what's in Pepsi, and Coke.
It might even be in Vodka for all we know. However, after that's
applied, and left on...it's a "left-on" lotion, then the odor from
South of the border disappears...but not the itchy-scratchy...the stuph doesn't
She has acne
- that problem youngsters get, commonly called "pimples"...on her feet, and her
chin. You can't see it for the fur, but it's there, and she's always had it. Now
I think I have discovered a solution, and that's Boric Acid, and Acetic Acid -
Vinegar. It's a "home-remedy" for itches for people, and now they recommended it
for animals. I mixed some up the other day, and it seems to work...so far: One
level teaspoon of Boric Acid mixed in four ounces of boiling water, to which is
added four ounces of Vinegar, and apply with a cloth...I use a paper towel
dipped sparingly in.
couple of years ago when Derby underwent her operation for Otitis Externa -
commonly called Swimmer's Ear for humans? Well, now they have discovered that
the above solution cures the problem in two weeks...for humans, and animals. The
story of my life - a day late, and a dollar short...could have saved a good
couple of thousand dollars if I had heard sooner...and alot of unecessary grief
for poor Derby.
this wasn't broadcast about?...well, the FDA put Boric Acid on their "dangerous
chemical" list...along with thousands of other good products used years ago. I
can remember my mother using Boric Acid for my eyes whenever they got inflamed,
or sore. Gheeeeeeeez! When I asked G to get me some at the pharmacy, they asked
her if she really wanted it, hyping the FDA's phoney concern for the stuph...the
dumb-bells put a skull, and cross bones on the packaging. Scared the
daylights out of her, but she brought it home nevertheless, but you'd think it
was the black plaque in the bottle.
we shall see if it works on itches as advertised...otherwise it's great for
bathed, brushed, and blow-dried, it was then time for Emily's water-change. It
was then almost lunch time. See...non-stop...how can you ever get bored with a
dog, and fish to take care of. So, lunch time...simple enough right...wrong!
Remember, Derby came down with incontinence a few weeks ago. Had to give her a
series of three pills...one each day for three days, with a week between the
next pill, etc. There's only a few weeks of pills left. Well, today was the
second of the weekly pills. They are capsules...the kind that can be opened, the
powder spread in her phood. Sounds simple enough, but not so...I have to make
sure what I give her is appetising enough, else the pill is for nothing. Like
Emily, who only eats certain phish phood, it's the same with Derby. Forget her
prescribed chow...you know, she's a diabetic, so the stuph, to her, is yukky...I
have to make sure her favorites like ham, steak, and chicken are somewhere to
found, and the pill contents cleverly embedded. I have become a whiz at
deception along these lines, so today was another success. However, I have to
come up with something for lunch for myself which will be appealing for her,
because always after a bath, she gets a ravenous appetite, and looks
for more in my lunch.
So, my lunch
has to be a dual thing...something I like, as well as she. Today I had our
favorite - chicken noodle soup...she's a noodle dog. That's good...I don't
particularly like giving her medicines...I don't trust any of them, but if she
has her fill of other things along with them, like oodles of noodles, I feel
better about it. So now she's one clean, fragrant, fluffy, furry, full of
noodles, ham, steak, and chicken, with carrots, and potatos mixed in - dog.
like I say...it's now almost two in the afternoon, she just got her afternoon
prescription doggy bone, and next, after her nap, I'll apply the itchy-scratchy
solution mentioned above. If that malady goes away like her incontinence did, we
will have succeeded. However, tomorrow she will already begin to smell like a
fishing port, which is okay...I always like South America...smells, and
PS You might
want to save the non-stop stop sign graphic...it's the only one you'll ever see.
Sitrept #12 101844Z APR
As if a shark in the canal was enough for one day, I had to have two snakes in the grass whoopin' it up.
I mentioned the shark episode to the wife, who immediately insisted it was a porpoise, even if it held it's breath for fifteen, or more minutes. Anyways, even if she saw it, she would deny it...not wanting them there to begin with.
It was but two-hours later, when I was summoned to the patio oops "lanai".
"There's snakes on the lawn.' she said pointing to the center of the back lawn.
There were...a literal "pile" of them, all entwined, and slithering around each other.
I left the protection of the screen patio oops "lanai" to get a closer look. A black-shiny ball of garden snakes making whoopee in the mid-day sun...lovely!
I returned to the patio oops "lanai", and told her they were harmless, and just full of hormones...they will leave after a while...they're also enjoying the warmth of the sun out in the open like that.
"Well, aren't you going to do something about them?' she said.
"Like what?' I asked.
"Like...get rid of them!'
"What for...you're here, they're there...what's the problem?
"Never mind...go watch your TV.' she said.
She remained out there, for a while watching this orgy, but armed herself with a large golfer's umbrella we keep out there for taking Derby out when it rains...they might break through the screening to "get" her...I supposed.
After she came in, I went out to see if they had had enough, and had wandered off.
Yup...they were gone. I hollered my report towards the house.
"No they're not...they are just to the left of you.' this voice said from behind the window.
She was watching from the bedroom, and she was right. Now this "daisy ball" was by a tree, but it wasn't an orgy, it was but two very affectionate serpents.
Every once in a while one would break off, run a couple of perfect circles around the base of the tree, and then coming up from astern of the other, fully extended, came up alongside the other full length to begin the console over again.
"Hey...c'mon out...this is interesting.' I hollered towards the window.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.' came the reply.