Buce Christmas Eve Gift

Playing the Christmas Eve Gift game

Does your family play the Christmas Eve gift game? You may be surprised at how many families do!
To see the comments I've received from others on the origins of the game, click HERE.

Do you remember the first time you realized your family was not quite... uh, "normal"?

I do. I was about 6 or 7 years old.

It was December 24. After years of being bested by my brother, I turned my eye toward easier prey. *I* had been the low man on the totem pole for too long. I would find a victim of my own. I decided to pay my next-door-neighbor, and best friend, Janet a visit. I sauntered over to her house, and when she answered the door I struck like a bolt of lightning. I was too sneaky, too fast - and I GOT her! With smugness in my voice I shouted, "CHRISTMAS EVE GIFT!!"

Her reply was underwhelming. It was something along the line of, "Huhwha??"

Sure that she was just being dense about things, I stubbornly repeated, "CHRISTMAS EVE GIFT! I *got* you!" She looked at me with disdain and sneered, "What are you TALKING about?" Then she shrugged and strolled off, as if nothing of consequence had just happened.

I was stunned. I had just pulled off a major coupe, and my victim didn't even appreciate the fact. Then the realization hit me... she didn't KNOW about Christmas Eve Gift! It felt just like the moment that I first realized the rest of the world didn't refer to Worcestershire Sauce as "wigi-wigi,"and that they would laugh at you and make fun of you if you did. I felt betrayed by my family, sent off into the world ill-informed - and even worse - loaded with "familyisms" that would only serve to make me a laughingstock with my friends.

Christmas Eve Gift is one of those peculiar family customs shared in my BUCE branch of the family. It is best described as a game of verbal tag. (Or, depending on the enthusiasm of the participants, verbal warfare.) The only catch is that once you've been "gotten" you are out of the game with that person for the year, and you have to wait an excruciatingly long 365 days to catch them again.

The rules of Christmas Eve Gift are simple:

It can only be played on Christmas Eve (which, by the way, begins at the first nanosecond past 12:00 a.m. for those who set their alarms).
You must say the words "Christmas Eve Gift" to them before they say it to you.
Any form of deceit or subterfuge is allowed, provided it assures you success.
Whoever "gets" someone first is the winner. Whoever "gets got" is not only a miserable loser, they are a miserable loser for an ENTIRE YEAR without a chance for redemption until Christmas Eve of the next year.

The jury is still out regarding the use of modern technology. Answering machines and email are questionable methods to convey the proper Christmas Eve Gift message. Not that we don't try, mind you. Oh, yes, we employ these devious devices on Christmas Eve. The message recipient just refuses to acknowledge the message left on these devices as "real." It seems that we lean toward the message having to be uttered by a live human being in the present moment of time.

We have the most trouble when we have to indoctrinate new family members - usually new spouses who marry into the family. Sometimes it takes 20 years or more to get them into the spirit of the game, and usually they never quite develop the competitive edge you get from the birth family.

My brother was always notorious for setting his alarm clock for 12:01 a.m. on Christmas Eve day. He would then proceed to tiptoe through the house, waking his unsuspecting victims, and hissing "Christmas Eve Gift!" Not only does a person have to be awake for you to count coupe on them, it adds to the savory thrill. Part of the satisfaction is in hearing them moan, "Noooo!!! No fair!" (And to follow that up with the subsequent, "I got you! I got you!!") It does not pay to shout in the dead of night, not until you've gotten the last victim sleeping in the house. It can backfire far too easily. If someone hears you Christmas Eve Gifting someone else, they will lay awake in their bed and the moment you slowly begin opening that bedroom door in the dark, they'll lash out at you and get you instead. Suddenly the "gifter" will become the "giftee."

It was always a special thrill to 'Christmas Eve Gift' an entire room full of people at once. Driving to my grandmother's house in Mosier on Christmas Eve for family holiday dinners, we would plot our entrance. "Dad! Park down by the grange hall and we'll sneak in on foot and yell 'Christmas Eve Gift'! They'll never know we are coming!" we would urge my father. Being a Buce, he understood and would comply. Little did we know at the time that my evil cousins Steve and Scott had been upstairs in my grandmother's house watching the freeway from the front bedroom window. Just this past year my cousin Scott revealed this to me, explaining from that vantage point they could see our car take the Mosier exit. (And since Mosier is such a small town, there wasn't much activity on that exit ramp.) I always wondered why we never seemed to be able to surprise them.

As adults we have all taken the low road. On Christmas Eve day, every one of us answers the phone "Christmas Eve Gift!" Of course, for those of us who have to work on that day, this can lead to some embarrassment on the job. I think we've all had an opportunity to explain to some poor unsuspecting customer or coworker, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a family member.... no... it's just a family thing we do."

One year my brother was driving home for Christmas from Seattle, which is to the north, and my sister was driving home from Eugene, which is to the south. Amazingly enough, they encountered each other in the Columbia River Gorge driving up I-84 toward The Dalles. My sister, thinking she would be clever - and seeing an opportunity to get our devious older brother - rolled down her car window as she was passing him. He, thinking she was trying to tell him something, rolled down his window. "Christmas Eve Gift" she shouted. He looked at his watch. "It's only 11:50pm," he replied. It's not Christmas Eve yet. It doesn't count." My sister glared at him, then at her watch. She rolled her window back up, grumbling. Technically, he was correct. It didn't count. They continued on their way, and my sister got distracted, thinking other thoughts as she drove. Pretty soon my brother pulled up alongside of her again. He rolled down his window. She rolled down hers. "Christmas Eve Gift!" he shouted, much to her dismay. "It's after midnight! NOW it counts!!" He still considers that one of his better coupe.

Once I was reading the book The Yearling when I ran across a page that referred to the Christmas Eve Gift game. Suddenly, I was vindicated! There were other people in the world who played! I ran to my mom, and yelled in excitement, "Mom! Look! They do it here in this book! We're not the only ones who play Christmas Eve Gift!"

Where did this bizarre little family custom come from? For years I figured it originated with folks from Oklahoma. I had no clue how this game started, who plays it, or why. I only knew that the only people I've ever found who have heard of this game have some connections with Oklahoma. Now, I've never been to Oklahoma but my dad was born there, as was his father. (In the 1800's my great-grandfather and his family walked to Oklahoma from their homestate of North Carolina.) But now I know that many, MANY families practice the custom. Most have roots in the southern USA states.

My aunt got lucky; she married a man from Oklahoma, and they already had this custom in their family. Not only did she not have to explain the game to him, he taught my cousins, Steve and Scott, to be topnotch at the game. Next to my brother, they were always the hardest ones to beat. One year around Christmas time we noticed a small article on the front page of The Oregonian about a family from Oklahoma who were living in John Day. It made mention of their family custom of saying, "Christmas Eve Gift," to each other. My aunt Bobbie was excited. She actually picked the phone up to call them, asking them about their custom. Seems they say it as a mere greeting, rather than the verbal cat-and-mouse game it is. She shook her head sadly when she got off the phone. Clearly the Oklahoma blood had thinned a little too much.

My innate sense of curiosity as a genealogist, coupled with my desire to track a family custom down to its source, led me to submit an abbreviated version of this article to ROOTSWEB. My article was published in ROOTSWEB, Vol. 5, No. 51, 18 December 2002. I was immediately gratified to receive a flood of emails from over 140 others who knew about and practiced this custom! To view their replies, click HERE.

The other (more devious) reason I submitted the article is that now I've located a whole new herd of victims come Christmas Eve!

-Susan Buce

Do you too have weird relatives who practice the "Christmas Eve Gift" custom? I'll post your comment about this page:
Email them to me at: Susan Buce

To see the comments from others who play the game, click HERE.

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