GENE & JUDY
CLARY--JAPANESE WEDDING
Across
the Fence
By
Arvord Abernethy
Please, click picture to
see larger view.
We too
would have had a wonderful experience if we could have gone with Gene
and Judy Clary to her native
Japan
for a wedding. Judy’s sister’s son was married in
Osaka,
Japan, in a typical Shinto wedding.
Customs
are changing some in
Japan; as in this case, the family of the bride did not pick out a husband
for her. She is a secretary of an insurance company and he works for a
computer firm, so they met at work.
After a
period of courtship, an engagement was planned. The groom had to get a
good sum of money together along with the engagement ring and presented
them to her. This may seem odd for the groom to present the bride-to-be
with money, but we must remember that it is her duty to buy the
furniture and everything needed to set up housekeeping.
Then the
best man was selected, the person who probably has the greatest
responsibility in the wedding. He is the go-between for the two families
in making all the arrangements such as the place for the wedding, the
kind of reception, who would be the priest, the flowers to be
used--everything. When all was completed, the announcements were then
sent out.
This
wedding was held in a Shinto Shrine which was a modern building with an
auditorium, fellowship hall and other rooms. Only the relatives were
permitted to go into the auditorium for the wedding proper, and no
pictures were permitted to be made of the wedding.
A lady
of the shrine handled the protocol for the occasion. First, she lined up
each family as to the order they should enter. Here the Japanese custom
of men getting the preference was evident. Following the bride and
groom’s entry, the father and the mother were next, then the children
and their spouses. Poor little Judy, being the youngest of the three
sisters, had to bring up the rear and walk behind Gene as he is a man.
The
ceremony itself was a very ritualistic and impressive service which took
some time. Several times during the ceremony, the audience had to stand,
sit or bow, so the lady of the protocol would signal the proper thing
for them to do. Also during the ceremony there was an assistant who
would help the bride in keeping the wedding kimona properly arranged as
she would have to go through the different movements.
Something
is missing here
topped
by a special turban of the same material. The groom was tall, dark and
handsome in his black top kimona which came down over the lower part of
black and white pin stripes. Each wore soft white shoes and carried the
traditional Japanese fan.
Between
the wedding ceremony and the reception, the wedding cake is cut very
much as we do here in
America, but the cake is not served to the guests at
this time. In the banquet hall were two long tables where the friends
and relatives of the bride ate at one and those of the grooms at the
other. At one end the tables were joined together with another table for
the wedding party which signified the uniting of the two families.
The
reception dinner was a very long affair at which a 10 or 12 course
dinner was served, and then there were speeches and entertainment. At
the close of the reception each person found a package under his chair
and it was a piece of the wedding cake and some gifts as an expression
of thanks for their attendance.
At
this time the bride and groom went and changed into western clothes for
their honeymoon, which incidentally was a trip to the
United States.
Then
the bride presented a bouquet of flowers to the groom’s mother and the
groom did likewise. Again the Japanese tradition of the prominence of
the men was shown, as the flowers had to be given to the father first,
who in turn gave them to the mother.
A
few days after the wedding, both families went to the best man’s home
with fine gifts as a token of appreciation for his efforts in making the
wedding a lovely occasion.
Next
the furniture and things that the bride had bought were taken to the
groom’s parents’ home where she presented them with a neatly
decorated list of all the things she had bought. This home had been
decorated with a large happy occasion banner across the front signifying
that there had been a wedding in the family. Even the truck carrying the
furniture was decorated with such banners.
This
was a most enjoyable occasion and trip for the Clarys, rather than a sad
one which may occur sometime as Judy’s mother is now 85 years old.
I
must go now, but maybe I can drop back by sometime and tell you more of
their trip and about life in
Japan.
