NARRATIVE of the LIFE
of
FREDERICK DOUGLASS
an
AMERICAN SLAVE.
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF.
PUBLISHED AT THE ANTI-SLAVERY
OFFICE,
NO. 25 CORNHILL.
BOSTON
1847
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NARRATIVE of the
LIFE
of
FREDERICK
DOUGLASS,
an
AMERICAN
SLAVE.
WRITTEN BY
HIMSELF.
PUBLISHED AT THE
ANTI-SLAVERY OFFICE,
NO. 25
CORNHILL.
BOSTON
1847
NARRATIVE OF THE LIFE
OF FREDERICK DOUGLASS.
CHAPTER
I.
I was born in
Tuckahoe, near Hillsborough, and about twelve miles from Easton, in Talbot county, Maryland. I have no
accurate knowledge of my age, never having seen any authentic record
containing it. By far the larger part of the slaves know as little of their ages
as horses know of theirs, and it is the wish of most masters within my knowledge
to keep their slaves thus ignorant. I do not remember to have ever met a slave who
could tell his birthday. They seldom come nearer to it than planting-time,
harvest time, cherry-time, spring-time, or fall-time. A want of information
concerning my own was a source of unhappiness to me even during childhood. The
white children could tell their ages. I could not tell why I ought to be
deprived of the same privilege. I was not allowed to make any enquiries of my
master concerning it. He deemed all such enquiries on the part of a slave
improper and impertinent, and evidence of a restless spirit. The nearest
estimate I can give makes me now between twenty-seven and twentyeight years of
age. I come to this, from hearing my master say, some time during 1835, I was
about seventeen years old.
My mother was named
Harriet Bailey. She was the daughter of Isaac and Betsey Bailey, both colored
and quite dark. My mother was of a darker complexion than either my grandmother
or grandfather. My father was a White man. He was admitted to be such by all I
ever heard speak of my parentage. The opinion was also whispered that my master
was my father ; but of the correctness of this opinion I know nothing ; the
means of knowing was withheld from me. My mother and I were separated when I was
but an infant before I knew her as my mother.
It is a common
custom, in the part of Maryland from which I ran away, to part children from
their mothers at a very early age. Frequently, before the child has reached its
twelfth month, its mother is taken from it and hired out on some farm a
considerable distance off, and the child is placed under the care of an old
woman, too old for field labour. For what this separation is done, I do not
know, unless it be to hinder the developement of the child's affection toward
its mother, and to blunt and destroy the natural affection of the mother for the
child. This is the inevitable result.
I never saw my
mother, to know her as such, more than four or five times in my life ; and each
of these times was very short in duration, and at night. She was hired by a Mr.
Stewart, who lived about twelve miles from my home. She made her journey to see
me in the night, travelling the whole distance on foot after the performance of
her day's work. She was a field hand, and a whipping is the penalty of not being
in the field at sunrise, unless a slave has special permission from his or her
master to the contrary a permission which they seldom get, and one that gives to
him that gives it the proud name of being a kind master. I do not recollect ever
seeing my mother by the light of day. She was with me in the night. She would
lie down with me, and get me to sleep, but long before I waked she was gone.
Very little communication ever took place between us. Death soon ended what
little we could have while she lived, and with it her hardships and suffering.
She died when I was about seven years old, on one of my master's farms, near
Lee's Mill. I was not allowed to be present during her illness, at her death, or
burial. She was gone long before I knew anything about
it.
Not ever having
enjoyed to any considerable extent her soothing presence, her tender and
watchful care, I received the tidings of her death with much the
same
emotions I should
have probably felt at the death of a stranger. Called thus suddenly away, she
left me without the slightest intimation of who my father was. The whisper that
my master was my father may or may not be true ; and, true or false, it is of
but little consequence to my purpose, whilst the fact remains, in all its
glaring odiousness, that slaveholders have ordained, -and by law established,
that the children of slave women shall in all cases follow the condition of
their mothers ; and this is done too obviously to administer to their own lusts,
and make a gratification of their wicked desires profitable as well as
pleasurable ; for by this cunning arrangement, the slaveholder, in cases not a
few, sustains to his slaves the double relation of master and
father.
I know of such cases
; and it is worthy of remark, that such slaves invariably suffer greater
hardships, and have more to contend with than others. They are, in the first
place, a constant offence to their mistress. She is ever disposed to find fault
with them ; they can seldom do any thing to please her ; she is never better
pleased than when she sees them under the lash, especially when she suspects her
husband of showing to his mulatto children favors which he withholds from, his
black slaves. The master is frequently compelled to sell this class of his
slaves, out of deference to the feelings of his white wife ; and, cruel as the
deed may strike any one to be, for a man to sell his own children to human
flesh-mongers, it is often the dictate of hull inanity for him to do so ; for
unless he does this, he must not only whip them himself, but must stand by and
see one white son tie up his brother, of but few shades darker complexion than
himself, and ply the gory lash to his naked back ; and if he lisp one word of
disapproval, it is set down to his parental partiality, and only makes a bad
matter worse, both for himself and
the slave whom he would protect and defend.
Every year brings
with it multitudes of this class of slaves. It was doubtless in consequence of a
knowledge of this fact, that one great statesman of the south predicted the
downfall of slavery by the inevitable laws of population. Whether this prophecy
is ever fulfilled or not, it is nevertheless plain that a very different looking
class of people are springing up at the south, and are now held in slavery, from
those originally brought to this country from Africa ; and if their increase
will do no other good, it will do away the force of the argument that God cursed
Ham, and therefore American slavery is right. If the lineal descendants of Ham
are alone to be scripturally enslaved, it is certain that slavery at the south
must soon become unscriptural ; for thousands are ushered into the world,
annually, who, like myself, owe their existence to white fathers, and those
fathers most frequently their own masters.
I have had two
masters. My first master's name was Anthony. I do not remember his first name.
He was generally called Captain Anthony, a title which, I presume, he acquired
by sailing a craft on the Chesapeake Bay. He was not considered a rich
slaveholder. He owned two or three farms, and about thirty slaves. His farms and
slaves were under the care of an overseer. The overseer's name was Plummer. Mr.
Plummer was a miserable drunkard, a profane swearer, and a savage monster. He
always went armed with a cowskin and a heavy cudgel. I
have
known him to cut and
slash the women's heads so horribly, that even master would be enraged at his
cruelty, and would threaten to whip him if he did not mind himself. Master,
however, was not a humane slaveholder. It required extraordinary barbarity on
the part of an overseer to affect him. He was a cruel man, hardened by a long
life of slaveholding. He would at times seem to take great pleasure in whipping
a slave. I have often been awakened at the dawn of day by the most heart-rending
shrieks of an own aunt of mine, whom he used to tie up to a joist, and whip upon
her naked back till she was literally covered with blood. No words, no tears, no
prayers, from his gory victim, seemed to move his iron heart from its bloody
purpose. The louder she screamed, the harder he whipped ; and where the blood
ran fastest, there he whipped longest. He would whip her to make her scream, and
whip her to make her hush ; and not until overcome by fatigue, would he cease to
swing the blood-clotted cowskin. I remember the first time I ever witnessed this
horrible exhibition. I was quite a child, but I well remember it. I never shall
forget it whilst I remember any thing. It was the first of a long series of such
outrages, of which I was doomed to be a witness and a participant. It struck me
with
awful force. It was
the blood-stained gate, the entrance to the hell of slavery through which I was
about to pass. It was a most terrible spectacle. I wish I could commit to paper
the feelings with which I beheld it.
This occurrence took
place very soon after I went to live with my old master, and under the following
circumstances. Aunt Hester went out one night, where or for what I do not know,
and happened to be absent when my
master desired her presence. He had ordered her not to go out evenings, and
warned her that she must never let him catch her in company with a young man who
was paying attention to her, belonging to Colonel Lloyd. The young man's name
was Ned Roberts, generally called Lloyd's Ned. Why master was so careful of her
may be safely left to conjecture. She was a woman of noble form, and of graceful
proportion s, having very few equals, and fewer superiors, in personal
appearance, among the colored or
white women of our
neighbourhood.
Aunt Hester had not
only disobeyed his orders in going out, but had been found in company with
Lloyd's Ned ; which circumstance, I found, from what he said while whipping her,
was the chief offence. Had he been a man of pure morals himself, he might have
been thought interested in protecting the innocence of my aunt ; but those who
knew him will not suspect him of any such virtue. Before he commenced whipping
Aunt Hester, he took her into the kitchen, and stripped her from neck to waist,
leaving her neck, shoulders, and back entirely naked. He then told her to cross
her hands, calling her at the same time a d- d b h. After crossing her hands, he
tied them with a strong rope, and led her to a stool under a large hook in the
joist, put in for the purpose. He made her get upon the stool, and tied her
hands to the Hook. She now stood fair for his infernal purpose. Her arms were
stretched up at their full length, so that she stood upon the ends of her toes.
He then said to her, "Now, you d___ d b___ h, I'll learn you how to disobey my
orders !" and after rolling up his sleeves, he commenced to lay on the heavy
cowskin, and soon the warm, red blood (amid heart-rending shrieks from her, and
horrid oaths from him) came dripping to the floor. I was so terrified and
horror-stricken at the sight, that I hid myself in a closet, and dared not
venture out till long after the bloody transaction was over. I expected it would
be my turn next. It was all new to me. I had never seen any thing like it
before. I had always lived with my grandmother on the outskirts of the
plantation, where she was put to raise the children of the younger women. I had
therefore been, until now, out of the way of the bloody scenes that often
occurred on the plantation.
CHAPTER
II.
My master's family
consisted of two sons, Andrew, and Richard ; one daughter, Lucretia, and her
husband, Captain Thomas Auld. They lived in one house, upon the home plantation
of Colonel Edward Lloyd. My master was Colonel Lloyd's clerk and superintendent.
He was what might be called the overseer of the overseers. I spent two years of
childhood on this
plantation, in my old
master's family. It was here that I witnessed the bloody transaction recorded in
the first chapter ; and as I received my first impressions of slavery on this
plantation, I will give some description of it, and of slavery as it there
existed. The plantation is about twelve miles north of Easton, in Talbot county,
and is situated on the border of Miles River.
The principal
products raised upon it were tobacco, corn, and wheat. These were raised in
great abundance ; so that with the products of this and the other farms
belonging to him, he was able to keep in almost constant employment a large
sloop, in carrying them to market at Baltimore. This sloop was named Sally
Lloyd, in honour of one of the Colonel's daughters,
My master's
son-in-law, Captain Auld, was master of the vessel ; she was otherwise manned by
the colonel's own slaves. Their names were Peter, Isaac, Rich, and Jake. These
were esteemed very highly by the other slaves, and looked upon as the privileged
ones of the plantation ; for it was no small affair, in the eyes of the slaves,
to be allowed to see Baltimore.
Colonel Lloyd kept
from three to four hundred slaves on his home plantation, and owned a large
number more on the neighbouring farms belonging to him. The names of the farms
nearest to the home plantation were Wye Town and New Design. Wye Town was under
the overseership of a man named Noah Willis. New Design was under the
overseership of a Mr. Townsend. The overseers of these, and all the rest of the
farms, numbering over twenty, received advice and direction from the managers of
the home plantation. This was the great business place. It was the seat of
government for the whole twenty farms. All disputes among the overseers were
settled here. If a slave was convicted of any high misdemeanor, became unmanageable,
or evinced a determination to run away, he was brought immediately here,
severely whipped, put on board the sloop, carried to Baltimore, and sold to
Austin Woolfolk, or some other slave-trader, as a warning to the slaves
remaining. Here, too, the slaves of all the other farms received their monthly
allowance of food, and their yearly clothing.
The men and women
slaves received, as their monthly allowance of food, eight pounds of pork, or
its equivalent in fish, and one bushel of corn meal. Their, yearly clothing
consisted of two coarse linen shirts, one pair of linen trowsers, like the
shirts, one jacket, one pair of trowsers for winter, made of coarse negro-cloth,
one pair of stockings, and one pair of shoes,
the whole of which
could not have cost more than seven dollars. The allowance of the slave children
was given to their mothers, or the old women having the care of them. The
children unable to work in the field had neither shoes, stockings, jackets, nor
trowsers given to them ; their clothing consisted of two coarse linen shirts per
year. When these failed them, they
went naked until the
next allowance-day. Children from seven to ten years old, of both sexes, almost
naked, might be seen at all seasons of the year.
There were no beds
given the slaves, unless one coarse blanket be considered such, and none but the
men and women had these. This, however, is not considered a very great
privation. They find less difficulty from the want of beds than from the want of
time to sleep ; for when their day's work in the field is done, the most of them
having their washing, mending, and cooking to do, and having few or none of the
ordinary facilities for doing either of these, very many of their sleeping hours
are consumed in preparing for the field the coming day ; and when this is done,
old and young, male and female, married and single, drop down side by side on
one common bed, the cold, damp floor, each covering himself or herself with
their miserable blankets ; and here they sleep till they are summoned to the
field by the driver's horn. At the sound of this, all must rise, and be oft' to
the field. There must be no halting ; every one must be at his or her post ; and
woe betides them who hear not this morning summons to the field ; for if they
are not awakened by the sense of hearing, they are by the sense of feeling : no
age nor sex finds any favor. Mr. Severe, the overseer, used to stand by the door
of the quarter, armed with a large hickory stick and heavy cowskin, ready to
whip any one who was so unfortunate as not to hear, or, from any other cause,
was prevented from being ready to start for the field at the sound of the
horn.
Mr. Severe was
rightly named : he was a cruel man. I have seen him whip a woman, causing the
blood to run half an hour at the time ; and this, too, in the midst of her
crying children, pleading for their mother's release. He seemed to take pleasure
in manifesting his fiendish barbarity. Added to his cruelty, he was a profane
swearer. It was enough to chill the blood and stiffen the hair of an ordinary
man to hear him talk. Scarce a sentence escaped him but what was commenced or
concluded by some horrid oath. The field was the place to witness his cruelty
and profanity. His presence made it both the field of blood and blasphemy. From
the rising till the going down of the sun, he was cursing, raving, cutting, and
slashing among the slaves of the field, in the most frightful manner. His career
was short. He died very soon after I went to Colonel Lloyd's ; and he died as he
lived, uttering, with his dying groans, bitter
curses and horrid
oaths. His death was regarded by the slaves as the result of a merciful
providence. Mr. Severe's place was filled by a Mr. Hopkins. He was a very different man. He was less
cruel, less profane, and made less noise than Mr. Severe. His course was
characterized by no extraordinary demonstrations of cruelty. He whipped, but
seemed to take no pleasure in it. He was called by the slaves a good
overseer.
The home plantation
of Colonel Lloyd wore the appearance of a country village. All the mechanical
operations for all the farms were performed here. The shoemaking and mending,
the blacksmithing, cartwrighting, coopering, weaving, and grain-grinding, were
all performed by the slaves on the home plantation. The whole place wore a
business-like aspect, very unlike the neighbouring farms. The number of houses,
too, conspired to give it advantage over the neighbouring farms. It was called
by the slaves the Great House Farm, Few privileges were esteemed higher, by the
slaves of the out-farms, than that of being selected to do errands at the Great
House Farm. It was associated in their minds with greatness. A representative
could not be prouder of his election to a seat in the American Congress, than a
slave on one of the out-farms would be of his election to do errands at the
Great House Farm. They regarded it as evidence of great confidence reposed in
them by their overseers ; and it was on this account, as well as a constant
desire to be out of the field from under the driver's lash, that they esteemed
it a high privilege, one worth careful living for. He was called the smartest
and most trusty fellow, who had this honor conferred upon him the most
frequently. The competitors for this office sought as diligently to please their
overseers, as the office-seekers in the political parties seek to please and
deceive the people. The same traits of character might be seen in Colonel
Lloyd's slaves, as are seen in the slaves of the political
parties.
The slaves selected
to go to the Great House Farm, for the monthly allowance for themselves and
their fellow-slaves, were peculiarly enthusiastic. While on their way, they
would make the dense old woods, for miles around, reverberate with their wild
songs, revealing at once the highest joy and the deepest sadness, They would
compose and sing as they went along,
consulting neither
time nor tune. The thought that came up came out if not in the word, in the
sound and as frequently in the one as in the other. They would sometimes sing
the most pathetic sentiment in the most rapturous tone, and the most rapturous
sentiment in the most pathetic tone. Into all of their songs they would manage
to weave something of the Great
House Farm.
Especially would they do this, when leaving home. They would then sing most
exultingly the following words :
"I am going' away to
the Great House Farm !
O, yea ! 0, yea !
!"
This they would sing,
as a chorus, to words which to many would seem unmeaning jargon, but which,
nevertheless, were full of meaning to themselves. I have sometimes thought that
the mere hearing of those songs would do more to impress some minds with the
horrible character of slavery, than the reading of whole volumes of philosophy
on the subject could do.
I did not, when a
slave, understand the deep meaning of those rude and apparently incoherent
songs. I was myself within the circle ; so that I neither saw nor heard as those
without might see and hear. They told a tale of woe which was then altogether
beyond my feeble comprehension : they were tones loud, long, and deep ; they
breathed the prayer and complaint of souls boiling over with the bitterest
anguish. Every tone was a testimony against slavery, and a prayer to God for
deliverance from chains. The hearing of those wild notes always depressed my
spirit, and filled me with ineffable sadness. I have frequently found myself in
tears while hearing them. The mere recurrence to these songs, even now. afflicts
me ; and
while I am writing
these lines, an expression of feeling has already found its way down my cheek.
To those songs I trace my first glimmering conceptions of the dehumanizing
character of slavery. I can never get rid of that conception. Those songs still
follow me, to deepen my hatred of slavery, and quicken my sympathies for my
brethren in bonds. If any one wishes to
be impressed with the
soul-killing effects of slavery, let him go to Colonel Lloyd's plantation, and,
on allowance- day, place himself in the deep pine woods, and there let him, in
silence, analyze the sounds that shall pass through the chambers of his soul,
and if he is not thus impressed, it will only be because " there is no flesh in
his obdurate heart."
I have often been
utterly astonished, since I came to the north, to find persons who could speak
of the singing among slaves, as evidence of their contentment and happiness. It
is impossible to conceive of a greater mistake. Slaves sing most when they are
most unhappy. The songs of the slave represent the sorrows of his heart ; and he
is relieved by them, only as an aching heart is relieved by its tears. At least,
such is my experience. I have often sung to drown my sorrow, but seldom to
express my happiness. Crying for joy, and singing for joy, were alike uncommon
to me while in the jaws of slavery. The singing of a man cast away upon a
desolate island might be as appropriately considered as evidence of contentment
and
happiness, as the
singing of a slave ; the songs of the one and of the other are prompted by the
same emotion.
CHAPTER
III.
COLONEL LLOYD kept a
large and finely cultivated garden, which afforded almost constant employment
for four men, besides the chief gardener, (Mr. M'Durmond.) This garden was
probably the greatest attraction of the place. During the summer months, people
came from far and near from Baltimore, Easton, and Annapolis, to see it. It
abounded in fruits of
almost every
description, from the hardy apple of the north to the delicate orange of the
south. This garden was not the least source of trouble on the plantation. Its
excellent fruit was quite a temptation to the hungry swarms of boys, as well as
the older slaves belonging to the colonel, few of whom had the virtue to resist
it. Scarcely a day passed, during the summer, but that some slave had to take
the lash for stealing fruit. The colonel had to resort to all kinds of
stratagems to keep his slaves out of the garden. The last and most successful
one was that of tarring his fence all around ; after which, if a slave was
caught with any tar upon his person, it was deemed sufficient proof that he had
either been into the garden, or had tried to get in. In either case, he was
severely whipped by the chief gardener. This plan worked well ; the slaves
became as fearful of tar as of the lash. They seemed to realize the
impossibility of touching tar without being defiled.
The colonel also kept
a splendid riding equipage. His stable and carriage-house presented the
appearance of some of our large city livery establishments. His horses were of
the finest form and noblest blood. His carriage-house contained three splendid
coaches, three or four gigs, besides dearborns and barouches of the most
fashionable style. This establishment was under the care of two slaves Old
Barney and young Barney father and son. To attend to this establishment was
their sole work. But it was by no means an easy employment ; for
in
nothing was Colonel
Lloyd more particular than in the management of his horses. The slightest
inattention to these was unpardonable, and was visited upon those under whose
care they were placed, with the severest punishment ; no excuse could shield
them, if the colonel only suspected any want of attention to his horses a
supposition which he frequently indulged, and one which, of course, made the
office of Old and Young Barney a very trying one. They never knew when they were
safe from punishment. They were frequently whipped when least deserving, and
escaped whipping when most deserving it. Everything depended upon the looks of
the horses, and the state of Colonel Lloyd's own mind when his horses were
brought to him for use. If a horse did not move fast enough, or hold his head
high enough, it was owing to some fault of his keepers. It was painful to stand
near the stable-door, and hear the various complaints against the keepers when a
horse was taken out for use. "
This horse has not
had proper attention. He has not been sufficiently rubbed and curried, or he has
not been properly fed ; his food was too wet or too dry ; he got it too soon or
too late ; he was too hot or too cold ; he had too much hay, and not enough of
grain ; or he had too much grain, and not enough of hay ; instead of Old
Barney's attending to the horse, he had very improperly left it to his son." To
all these complaints, no matter how unjust, the slave must answer never a word.
Colonel Lloyd could not brook any contradiction from a slave. When he spoke, a
slave must stand, listen, and tremble ; and such was literally the case. I have
seen Colonel Lloyd make Old Barney, a man between fifty and sixty years of age,
uncover his bald head, kneel down upon the cold, damp ground, and receive upon
his naked and toil-worn shoulders more than thirty lashes at the time. Colonel
Lloyd had three sons Edward, Murray, and Daniel, and three sons-in-law, Mr.
Winder, Mr. Nicholson, and Mr. Lowndes. All of these lived at the Great House
Farm, and enjoyed the luxury of whipping the servants
when they pleased,
from Old Barney down to William Wilkes the coach-driver. I have seen Winder make
one of the house-servants stand off from him a suitable distance to be touched
with the end of his whip, and at every stroke raise great ridges upon his
back.
To describe the
wealth of Colonel Lloyd would be almost equal to describing the riches of Job.
He kept from ten to fifteen house-servants. He was said to own a thousand
slaves, and I think this estimate quite within the truth. Colonel Lloyd owned so
many, that he did not know them when he saw them ; nor did all the slaves of the
out-farms know him. It is reported
of him, that, while
riding along the road one day, he met a colored man, and addressed him in the
usual manner of speaking to colored people on the public highways of the south
:
"Well, boy, whom do
you belong to ?"
"To Colonel Lloyd,"
replied the slave. "
"Well, does the
colonel treat you well ?" "
No, sir," was the
ready reply,
"What, does he work
you too hard?"
"Yes, sir."
"
"Well, don't he give
you enough to eat ?"
' Yes, sir, he gives
me enough, such as it is."
The colonel, after
ascertaining where the slave belonged to, rode on ; the man also went on about
his business, not dreaming that he had been conversing with his master. He
thought, said, and heard nothing more of the matter, until two or three weeks
afterwards. The poor man was then informed by his overseer that, for having
found fault with his master, he was now to be sold to a Georgia trader. He was
immediately chained and handcuffed ; and thus, without a moment's warning, he
was snatched away, and forever sundered from his family and friends, by a hand
more unrelenting than death. This is the penalty of telling the truth, of
telling the simple truth, in answer to a .series of plain
questions.
It is partly in
consequence of such facts, that slaves, when inquired of as to their condition
and the character of their masters, almost universally say they are contented,
and that their masters are kind. The slaveholders have been known to send in
spies among their slaves, to ascertain their views and feelings in regard to
their condition. The frequency of this has had the effect to establish among the
slaves the maxim, that a still tongue makes a wise head. They suppress the truth
rather than take the consequences of telling it, and in so doing prove
themselves a part of the human family. If they have any thing to say of their
masters, it is generally in their master's favour, especially when speaking to
an untried man. I have been frequently asked, when a slave, if I had a kind
master, and do not remember ever to have given a negative answer ; nor did I, in
pursuing this course, consider myself as uttering what was absolutely false :
for I always measured the kindness of my master by the standard of kindness set
up among slaveholders around us. Moreover, slaves are like other people, and
imbibe
prejudices quite
common to others. They think their own better than that of others. Many, under
the influence of this prejudice, think their own masters are better than the
masters of other slaves ; and this, too, in some cases when the very reverse is
true. Indeed, it is not uncommon for slaves even to fall out and quarrel among
themselves about the relative goodness
of their masters,
each contending for the superior goodness of his own over that of the others. At
the very same time, they mutually execrate their masters when viewed separately.
It was so on our plantation.
When Colonel Lloyd's
slaves met the slaves of Jacob Jepson, they seldom parted without a quarrel
about their masters ; Colonel Lloyd's slaves contending that he was the richest,
and Mr. Jepson's slaves that he was the smartest, and most of a man. Colonel
Lloyd's slaves would boast his ability to buy and sell Jacob Jepson. Mr.
Jepson's slaves would boast his ability to whip Colonel Lloyd. These quarrels
would almost always end in a fight between the parties, and those that whipped
were supposed to have gained the point at issue. They seemed to think that the
greatness of their masters was transferable to themselves. It was considered as
being bad enough to be a slave ; but to be a poor man's slave was deemed a
disgrace indeed.
CHAPTER
IV.
MR. HOPKINS remained
but a short time in the office of overseer. Why his career was so short I do not
know, but suppose he lacked the necessary seventy to suit Colonel Lloyd. Mr.
Hopkins was succeeded by Mr. Austin Gore, a man possessing in an eminent degree,
all those traits of character indispensable to what is called a first-rate
overseer. Mr. Gore had served
Colonel Lloyd, in the
capacity of overseer, upon one of the out-farms, and had shown himself worthy of
the high station of overseer upon the home or Great House Farm. Mr. Gore was
proud, ambitious, and persevering. He was artful, cruel, and obdurate. He was
just the man for such a place, and it was just the place for such a man. It
afforded scope for the full exercise of all his powers, and he seemed to be
perfectly at home in it. He was one of those who could torture the slightest
look, word, or gesture, on the part of the slave, into impudence, and would
treat it accordingly. There must be no answering back to him ; no explanation
was allowed a "slave, showing himself to have been wrongfully accused. Mr. Gore
acted fully up
to the maxim laid
down by slaveholders, " It is better that a dozen slaves suffer under the lash,
than that the overseer should be convicted, in the presence of the slaves, of
having been at fault." Xo matter how innocent a slave might be it availed him
nothing, when accused by Mr. Gore of any misdemeanor. To be accused was to be
convicted, and to be convicted was to be punished ; the one always following the
other with immutable certainty. To escape punishment was to escape accusation ;
and few slaves had the fortune to do either, under the overseership of Mr. Gore.
He was just proud enough to demand the most debasing homage of the slave, and
quite servile enough to crouch himself at the feet of the master. He
was
ambitious enough to
be contented with nothing short of the highest rank of overseers, and
persevering enough to reach the height of his ambition. He was cruel enough to
inflict the severest punishment, artful enough to descend to the lowest
trickery, and obdurate enough to be insensible to the voice of a reproving
conscience. He was, of all the overseers, the most
dreaded by the
slaves. His presence was painful ; his eye flashed confusion ; and seldom was
his sharp, shrill voice heard, without producing horror and trembling in their
ranks.
Mr. Gore was a grave
man, and though a young man, he indulged in no jokes, said no funny words,
seldom smiled. His words were in perfect keeping with his looks, and his looks
were in perfect keeping with his words. Overseers will sometimes indulge in a
witty word, even with the slaves ; not so with Mr. Gore. He spoke but to
command, and commanded but to be obeyed ; he dealt sparingly with his words, and
bountifully with his whip, never using the former where the latter would answer
as well. When he whipped, he seemed to do so from a sense of duty, and feared no
consequences. He did nothing reluctantly, no matter how disagreeable ; always at
his post, never inconsistent. He never promised but to fulfil. He was, in a
word, a man of the most inflexible firmness and stone-like coolness. His savage
barbarity was equalled only by the consummate coolness with which he committed
the grossest and most savage deeds upon the slaves under his
charge.
Mr. Gore once
undertook to whip one of Colonel Lloyd's slaves, by the name of Demby. He had
given Demby but a few stripes, when, to get rid of the scourging, he ran and
plunged himself into a creek, and stood there at the depth of his shoulders,
refusing to come out. Mr. Gore told him that he would give him three calls, and
that if he did not come out at the third call, he would shoot him. The first
call was given. Demby made no response, but stood his ground. The second and
third calls were given with the same result. Mr. Gore then, without consultation
or deliberation with any one, not even giving Demby an additional call, raised
.his musket to his face, taking deadly aim at his standing victim, and in an
instant poor Demby was no more ; his mangled body sank out of sight, and blood
and brains marked the water where he had stood.
A thrill of horror
flashed through every soul upon the plantation, excepting Mr. Gore. He alone
seemed cool and collected. He was asked by Colonel Lloyd and my old master, why
he resorted to this extraordinary expedient. His reply was, (as well as I can
remember,) that Demby had become unmanageable. He was setting a dangerous
example to the other slaves, one
whiclj, if suffered
to pass without some such demonstration on his part, would finally lead to the
total subversion of all rule and order upon the plantation. He argued that if
one slave refused to be corrected, and escaped with his life, the other slaves
would soon copy the example ; the result of which would be, the freedom of the
slaves, and the enslavement of the whites. Mr. Gore's defence was satisfactory.
He was continued in his station as overseer upon the home plantation. His fame
as an overseer went abroad. His horrid crime was not even submitted to judicial
investigation. It was committed in the presence of slaves, and they of course
could neither institute a suit, nor testify against him ; and thus the guilty
perpetrator of one of the bloodiest and most foul murders goes unwhipped of
justice, and uncensured by the community in which he lives. Mr. Gore lived in
St. Michael's, Talbot county,
Maryland, when I left
there ; and if he is still alive, he very probably lives there now ; and if so,
he is now, as he was then, as highly esteemed and as much respected as though
his guilty soul had not been stained with his brother's blood. I speak advisedly
when I say this, that killing a slave, or any colored person, in Talbot county,
Maryland, is not treated as a crime, either fey the courts or the community. Mr.
Thomas Lanman, of St. Michael's, killed two slaves, one of whom he killed with a
hatchet, by knocking his brains out. He used to boast of the commission of the
awful and bloody deed. I have heard him do so laughingly, saying, among other
things, that he was the only benefactor of his country in the company, and that
when others would do as much as he had done, we should be relieved of " the d___
d niggers." The wife of Mr. Giles Hicks, living but a short distance from where
I used to live, murdered my wife's cousin, a young girl between fifteen and
sixteen years of age, mangling her person in the most horrible manner, breaking
her nose and breastbone with a stick, so that the poor girl expired in a few
hours afterward. She was immediately buried, but had not been in her untimely
grave but a few hours, before she was taken up and examined by the coroner, who
decided that she had come to her death by severe beating. The offence for which
this girl was thus murdered was this : She had been set that night to mind Mrs.
Hick's baby, and during the night she fell asleep, and the baby cried. She,
having lost her rest for several nights previous, did not hear the crying. They
were both in the room with Mrs. Hicks. Mrs. Hicks, rinding the girl slow to
move, jumped from her bed, seized an oak stick of wood by the fire-place, and
with it broke the girl's nose and breastbone, and thus ended her life. I will
not say that this most horrid murder produced no sensation in the community. It
did produce sensation, but not enough to bring the murderess to
punishment.
There was a warrant
issued for her arrest, but it was never served. Thus, she escaped not only
punishment, but even the pain of being arraigned before a court for her horrid
crime.
Whilst I am detailing
bloody deeds which took place during my stay on Colonel Lloyd's plantation, I
will briefly narrate another, which occurred about the same time as the murder
of Demby by Mr. Gore. Colonel Lloyd's slaves were in the habit of spending a
part of their nights and Sundays in fishing for oysters, and in this way made up
the deficiency of their scanty allowance. An old man belonging to Colonel Lloyd,
while thus engaged, happened to get beyond the limits of Colonel Lloyd's, and on
the premises of Beai Bondly. At this trespass, Mr. Bondly took offence, and with
his musket came down to the shore, and blew its deadly contents into the poor
old man. Mi\ Bondly came over to see Colonel Lloyd the next day, whether to pay
him for his property, or to justify himself in what he had done, I know not. At
any rate, this whole fiendish transaction was soon hushed up. There was very
little said about it at all,
and nothing done. It
was a common saying, even among little white boys, that it was worth a half-cent
to kill a "nigger," and a half-cent to bury one.
CHAPTER
V.
As to my own
treatment while I lived on Colonel Lloyd's plantation, it was very similar to
that of the other slave children. I was not old enough to work in the field, and
there being little else than field work to do, I had a great deal of leisure
time. The most I had to do was to drive up the cows at evening, keep the fowls
out of the garden, keep the front yard clean, and run of errands for my old
master's daughter. Mrs. Lucretia Auld. The most of my leisure time I spent in
helping Master Daniel Lloyd in finding his birds, after he had shot them. My
connexion with Master Daniel was of some advantage to me. He became quite
attached to me, and was a sort of protector of me. He would not allow the older
boys to impose upon me, and would divide his cakes with me. I was seldom whipped
by my old master, and suffered little from any thing else than hunger and cold.
I suffered much from hunger, but much more from cold. In hottest summer, and
coldest winter, I was kept almost naked no shoes, no stockings, no jacket, no
trowsers, nothing on but a coarse tow linen shirt, reaching only to my knees. I
had no bed. I must have perished with cold, but that, the coldest nights, I used
to steal a bag which was used for carrying corn to the mill. I would crawl into
this bag, and there sleep on the cold, damp, clay floor, with my head in and
feet out. My feet have been so cracked with the frost, that the pen with which I
am writing might be laid in the gashes.
We were not regularly
allowanced. Our food was coarse corn-meal boiled, This was called mush. It was
put into a large wooden tray or trough, and set down upon the ground. The
children were then called, like so many pigs, and like so many pigs they would
come and devour the mush ; some with oyster shells, others with pieces of
shingle, some with naked
hands, and none with
spoons. He that ate fastest got most ; he that was strongest secured the best
place ; and few left the trough satisfied. I was probably between seven or eight
years old when I left Colonel Lloyd's plantation. I left it with joy. I shall
never forget the ecstacy with which I received the intelligence that my old
master (Anthony) had determined to let me go to Baltimore, to live with Mr. Hugh
Auld, brother to my old master's son-in-law,.
Captain Thomas Auld.
I received this information about three days before my departure. They were
three of the happiest days I ever enjoyed. I spent the most part of all these
three days in the creek, washing off the plantation scruff, and preparing myself
for my departure. The pride of appearance which this would indicate was not my
own. I spent the time in washing, not so much because I wished to do so, but
because Mrs. Lucretia had told me that I must get all the dead skin off my feet
and knees before I could go to Baltimore ; for the people in Baltimore were very
cleanly, and would laugh at me if I looked dirty. Besides, she was going to give
me a pair of trowsers, which I should not put on unless I got all the dirt off
me. The thought of owning a pair of trowsers was great indeed ! It was almost a
sufficient motive, not only to make me take off what would be called by
pig-drovers the mange, but the skin itself. I went at it in good earnest,
working for the first time with the hope of reward.
The ties that
ordinarily bind children to their homes were all suspended in my case. I found
no severe trial in my departure. My home was charmless ; it was not home to me ;
on parting from it, I could not feel that I was leaving any thing which I could
have enjoyed by staying. My mother was dead, my grandmother lived far off, so
that I seldom saw her. I had two sisters and one brother, that lived in the same
house with me ; but the early separation of us from, our mother had well nigh
blotted the fact of our relationship from our memories. I looked for home
elsewhere, and was confident of finding none which I should relish less than the
one which I was leaving. If, however, I found in my new home hardship, hunger,
whipping, and nakedness, I had the consolation that I should not have escaped
any one of them by staying. Having already had more than a taste of them in the house of my old master, and
having endured them there, I very naturally inferred my ability to endure them
elsewhere, and especially at Baltimore ; for I had something of the feeling
about Baltimore that is expressed in the proverb, that "being hanged in England
is preferable to dying a natural death in Ireland."
I had the strongest
desire to see Baltimore. Cousin Tom. though not fluent in speech, had inspired
me with that desire by his eloquent description of the place. I could never
point out any thing at the Great House, no marter how beautiful or powerful, but
that he had seen something at Baltimore far exceeding, both in beauty and
strength, the object which I pointed out
to him. Even the
Great House itself, with all its pictures, was far inferior to many buildings in
Baltimore. So strong was my desire, that I thought a gratification of it would
fully compensate for whatever loss of comfort I should sustain by the exchange.
I left without a regret, and with the highest hopes of future
happiness.
We sailed out of
Miles River for Baltimore on a Saturday morning, I remember only the day of the
week, for at that time I had no knowledge of the days of the month, nor the
months of the year. On setting sail, I walked aft, and gave to Colonel Lloyd's
plantation what I hoped would be the last look. I then placed myself in the bows
of the sloop, and there spent the remainder of the day in looking ahead,
interesting myself in what was in the distance rather than in things near by or
behind. In the afternoon of that day, we reached Annapolis, the capital of the
State. We stopped but a few moments, so that I had no time to go on shore. It
was the first large town that I had ever seen, and though it would look small
compared with some of our New
England factory
villages, I thought it a wonderful place for its size; more imposing even than
the Great House Farm !
We arrived at
Baltimore early on Sunday morning, landing at Smith's Wharf, not far from
Bowley's Wharf. We had on board the sloop a large flock of sheep ; and after
aiding in driving them to the slaughterhouse of Mr. Curtis on Loudon Slater's
Hill, I was conducted by Rich, one of the hands belonging on board of the sloop,
to my new home in Alliciana Street, near Mr. Gardner's ship-yard, on Fell's
Point, Mr. and Mrs. Auld were both at home, and met me at the door with their
little son, Thomas, to take care of whom I had been given. And here I saw what I
had never seen before ; it was a white face beaming with the most kindly
emotions ; it was the face of my new mistress, Sophia Auld. I wish I could
describe the rapture that flashed through my soul as I beheld it. It was a new
and strange sight to me, brightening up my pathway with the light of happiness.
Little Thomas was told, there was his Freddy ; and I
was
told to take care of
little Thomas ; and thus I entered upon the duties of my new home with the most
cheering prospect ahead.
I look upon my
departure from Colonel Lloyd's plantation as one of the most interesting events
of my life. It is possible, and even quite probable, that but for the mere
circumstance of being removed from that plantation to Baltimore, I should have
to-day, instead of being here seated by my own table in the enjoyment of freedom
and the happiness of home, writing this Narrative, been confined in the galling
chains of slavery. Going to live at Baltimore laid the foundation, and opened
the gateway to all my subsequent prosperity. I have ever regarded it as the
first plain manifestation of that kind Providence, which has ever since attended
me, and marked my life with so many favours. I regarded the selection of myself
as being somewhat remarkable. There were a number of slave children that might
have been sent from the plantation to Baltimore. There were those younger, those
older, and those of the same age. I was chosen from among them all, and was the
first, last, and only choice.
I may be deemed
superstitious, and even egotistical, in regarding this event as a special
interposition of divine Providence in my favour. But I should be false to the
earliest sentiments of my soul, if I suppressed the opinion. I prefer to be true
to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than
to be false, and incur my own abhorrence. From my earlist recollection, T date
the entertainment of a deep conviction that slavery would not always be able to
hold me in its foul embrace ; and in the darkest hours of my career in slavery,
this living word of faith and spirit of hope departed not from me, but remained,
like a ministering angel, to cheer me through the gloom. This good spirit was
from God, and to him I offer
thanksgiving and
praise.
CHAPTER
VI.
MY new mistress
proved to be all she appeared when I first met her at the door, a woman of the
kindest heart and finest feelings. She had never had a slave under her controul
previously to myself, and prior to her marriage she had been dependent upon her
own industry for a living. She was by trade a weaver ; and by constant
application to her business, she had been in a good degree preserved from the
blighting and dehumanizing effects of slavery. I was utterly astonished at her
goodness. I scarcely knew how to behave towards her. She was entirely unlike any
other white woman I had ever seen. I could not approach her as I was accustomed
to approach other white ladies. My early instruction was all out of place. The
crouching servility, usually so acceptable a quality in a slave, did not answer
when manifested towards her. Her favour was not gained by it; she seemed to be
disturbed by it. She did not deem it impudent or unmannerly for a slave to look
her in the face. The meanest slave was put fully at ease in her presence, and
none left without feeling better for having seen her.
Her face was made of
heavenly smiles, and her voice of tranquil music.
But, alas ! this kind
heart had Lut a short time to remain such. The fatal poison of irresponsible
power was already in her hands, and gradually commenced its infernal work. That
cheerful eye, under the influence of slavery, eventually became red with rage ;
that voice made all of sweet accord, changed to one of harsh and horrid discord
; and that angelic face gave place to that of a demon. Thus is slavery the enemy
of both the slave and the slaveholder. Very soon after I went to live with Mr.
and Mrs. Auld, she very kindly commenced to teach me
the
A, B, C. After I had
learned this, she assisted me in learning to spell words of three or four
letters. Just at this point of my progress, Mr. Auld found out what was going
on, and at once forbade Mrs. Auld to instruct me further, telling her, among
other things, that it was unlawful, as well as unsafe, to teach a slave to read.
To use his own words, further, he said,
" If you give a
nigger an inch, he will take an ell. A nigger should know nothing but to obey
his master to do as he is told to do. Learning would spoil the best nigger in
the world. Now/' said he, " if you teach that nigger (speaking of myself) how to
read, there would be no keeping him. It would forever unfit him to be a slave,
He would at once become unmanageable, and of no value to his master. As to
himself, it could do him no good, but a great deal of harm. It would make him
discontented and unhappy." These words sank deep into my heart, stirred up
sentiments within that lay slumbering, and called into existence an entirely new
train of thought. It was a new and special revelation, explaining dark and
mysterious things, with which my youthful understanding had struggled, but
struggled in vain. I now understood what had been to me a most perplexing
difficulty to wit, the white man's power to enslave the black man. It was a
grand achievement, and I prized it highly. From that moment, I understood the
pathway from slavery to freedom. It was just what I wanted, and I got it at a
time when I the
least expected it.
Whilst I was saddened by the thought of losing the aid of my kind mistress, I
was gladdened by the invaluable instruction which, by the merest accident, I had
gained . from my master.
Though conscious of
the difficulty of learning without a teacher, I set out with high hope, and a
fixed purpose, at whatever cost of trouble, to learn how to read . The very
decided manner with which he spoke, and strove to impress his wife with the evil
consequences of giving me instruction, served to convince me that he was deeply
sensible of the truths he was uttering.
It gave me the best
assurance that I might rely with the utmost confidence on the results which, he
said, would flow from teaching me to read. What he most dreaded, that I most
desired. What he most loved, that I most hated. That which to him was a great
evil, to be carefully shunned, was to me a great good, to be diligently sought ;
and the argument which he so
warmly urged against
my learning to read, only served to inspire me with a desire and determination
to learn. In learning to read, I owe almost as much to the bitter opposition of
my master, as to the kindly aid of my mistress. I acknowledge the benefit of
both.
I had resided but a
short time in Baltimore before I observed a marked difference, in the treatment
of slaves, from that which I witnessed in the country. A city slave is almost a
freeman, compared with a slave on the plantation. He is much better fed and
clothed, and enjoys privileges altogether unknown to the slave on the
plantation. There is a vestige of dedecency,
a sense of shame,
that does much to curb and check those outbreaks of atrocious cruelty so
commonly enacted upon the plantation. He is a desperate slaveholder, who will
shock the humanity of his non- slaveholding neighbours with the cries of his
lacerated slave. Few are willing to incur the odium attaching to the reputation
of being a cruel master ; and above all
things, they would
not be known as not giving a slave enough to eat. Every city slaveholder is
anxious to have it known of him, that he feeds his slaves well ; and it is due
to them to say, that most of them do give their slaves enough to eat. There are,
however, some painful exceptions to this rule.
Directly opposite to
us in Philpot- street, lived Mr. Thomas Hamilton. He owned two slaves. Their
names were Henrietta and Mary. Henrietta was about twenty-two years of age, Many
was about fourteen ; and of all the mangled and emaciated creatures I ever
looked upon, these two were the most so. His heart must be harder than stone,
that could looked at these unmoved. The head, neck, and shoulders of Mary were
literally cut to pieces. I have frequently felt her head, and found it nearly
covered with festering sores, caused by the lash of her cruel mistress. I do not
know that her master ever whipped her, but I have been an eye witness to the
cruelty of Mrs. Hamilton. I used to be in Mr. Hamilton's house nearly every day.
Mrs. Hamilton used to sit in a large chair in the middle of the room, with a
heavy cowskin always by her side, and scarce an hour passed during the day but
was marked by the blood of one of these slaves. The girls seldom passed her
without her saying, " Move faster, you black gip /"
At the same time
giving them a blow with the cowskin over the head or shoulders, often drawing
the blood. She would then say, " Take that, you black gip!' continuing, "If you
don't move faster, I'll move you !
' Added to the cruel
lashings to which these slaves were subjected, they were kept nearly half-
starved. They seldom knew what it was to eat a full meal. I have seen Mary
contending with the pigs for the offal thrown into the street. So much was Mary
kicked and cut to pieces, that she was oftener called "pecked " than by her
name.
CHAPTER
VII.
I LIVED in Master
Hugh's family about seven years. During this time, I succeeded in learning to
read and write. In accomplishing this, I was compelled to resort to various
stratagems. I had no regular teacher. My mistress, who had kindly commenced to
instruct me, had, in compliance with the advice and direction of her husband,
not only ceased to instruct, but had set her face against my being instructed by
any one else. It is due, however, to my mistress to say of her, that she did not
adopt this course of treatment immediately. She at first lacked the depravity
indispensible to shutting me up in mental darkness. It was at least necessary
for her to have some training, in the exercise of irresponsible power, to make
her equal to the task of treating me as though I were a
brute.
My mistress was, as I
have said, a kind and tenderhearted woman ; and in the simplicity of her soul
she commenced, when I first went to live with her, to treat me as she supposed
one human being ought to treat another. In entering upon the duties of a
slaveholder, she did not seem to perceive that I sustained to her the relation
of a mere chattel, and that for her to treat me as a human being was not only
wrong, but dangerously so. Slavery proved as injurious to her as it did to me.
When I went there, she was a pious, warm, and tender- hearted woman. There was
no sorrow or suffering for which she had not a tear. She had bread for the
hungry, clothes for the naked, and comfort for every mourner that came within
her reach. Slavery
soon proved its
ability to divest her of these heavenly qualities. Under its influence, the
tender heart became stone, and the lamb-like disposition gave way to one of
tiger-like fierceness. The first step in her downward course was in her ceasing
to instruct me. She now commenced to practise her husband's precepts. She
finally became even more violent in her opposition than her husband himself. She
was not satisfied with simply doing as well as he had commanded ; she seemed
anxious to do better. Nothing seemed to make her more angry than to see me with
a newspaper.
She seemed to think
that here lay the danger. J have had her rush at me with a face made all up of
fury, and snatch from me a newspaper, in a manner that fully revealed her apprehension. She was an apt woman ; and
a little experience soon demonstrated, to her satisfaction, that education and
slavery were incompatible with each other. From this time I was most narrowly
watched. If I was in a separate room any considerable length of time, I was sure
to be suspected of having a book, and was at once called to give an account of
myself. All this, however, was too late. The first step had been taken.
Mistress, in teaching me the alphabet, had given me the inch, and no precaution
could prevent me from taking the ell.
The plan which I
adopted, and the one by which was most successful, was that of making friends of
all the little white boys whom I met in the street. As many of these as I could,
I converted into teachers. With their kindly aid, obtained at different times
and in different places, I finally succeeded in learning to read. When I was
sent of errands, I always took my book with me, and by going one part of my
errand quickly, I found time to get a lesson before my return. I used also to
carry bread with me, enough of which was always in the house, and to which I was
always welcome ; for I was much better off in this regard than many of the poor
white children in the neighbourhood.
This bread I used to
bestow on the hungry little urchins, who, in return would give me the more
valuable bread of knowledge. I am strongly tempted to give the names of two or
three of those little boys, as a testimonial of the gratitude and affection I
bear them ; but prudence forbids : not that it would injure me, but it might
embarrass them ; for it is almost an unpardonable offence to teach slaves to
read in this Christian country. It is enough to say of the dear little fellows,
that they lived on Philpot-street, very near Durgin and Bailey's ship-yard. I
used to talk this matter of slavery over with them. I would sometimes say to
them, I wished I could be as free as they would be when they got to be men. "
You will be free as soon as you are twenty-one, but I am a slave for life ! Have
not I as good a right to be free as you have ?" These words used to trouble them
; they would express for me the liveliest sympathy, and console me with the hope
that something would occur by which I might be free.
I was now about
twelve years old, and the thought of being a slave for life began to bear
heavily upon my heart. Just about this time, I got hold of a book entitled " The
Columbian Orator." Every opportunity I got, I used to read this book. Among much
of other interesting matter, I found in it a dialogue between a master and his
slave. The slave was represented as having run away from his master three times.
The dialogue represented the conversation which took place between them, when
the slave was retaken the third time. In this dialogue, the whole argument in
behalf of slavery was brought forward by the master, all of which was disposed
of by the slave. The slave was made to say some very smart as well as impressive
things in reply to his master things which had the desired though unexpected
effect ; for the conversation resulted in the voluntary emancipation of the
slave on the part of the master.
In the same book, I
met with one of Sheridan's mighty speeches on and in behalf of Catholic
emancipation. These were choice documents to me. I read them over and over again
with unabated interest. They gave tongue to interesting thoughts of my own soul,
which had frequently flashed through my mind, and died away for want of
utterance. The moral which I gained from the dialogue was the power of truth
over the conscience of even a slaveholder. What I got from Sheridan was a bold
denunciation of slavery, and a powerful vindication of human rights. The reading
of these documents enabled me to utter my thoughts, and to meet the arguments
brought forward to sustain slavery ; but while they relieved me of one
difficulty, they brought on another even more painful than the one of which I
was relieved. The more I read, the more I was led to abhor and detest my
enslavers.
I could regard them
in no other light than a band of successful robbers, who had left their homes,
and gone to Africa, and stolen us from our homes, and in a strange land reduced
us to slavery. I loathed them as being the meanest as well as the most wicked of
men. As I read and contemplated the subject, behold, that very discontentment
which Master Hugh had
predicted would
follow my learning to read had already come, to torment and sting my soul to
unutterable anguish. As I writhed under it, I would at times feel that learning
to read had been a curse rather than a blessing. It had given me a view of my
wretched condition without the remedy. It opened my eves to the horrible pit,
but to no ladder upon which to get out.
In moments of agony,
I envied my fellow-slaves for their stupidity. I have often wished myself a
beast.
I preferred the
condition of the meanest reptile to my own. Any thing, no matter what, to get
rid of thinking ! It was this everlasting thinking of my condition that
tormented me. There was no getting rid of it. It was pressed upon me by every
object within sight or hearing, animate or inanimate. The silver trump of
freedom had roused my soul to eternal wakefulness.
Freedom now appeared,
to disappear no more for ever. It was heard in every sound, and seen in
everything. It was ever present to torment me with a sense of my wretched
condition. I saw nothing without seeing it, I heard nothing without hearing it,
and felt nothing without feeling it. It looked from every star, it smiled in
every calm, breathed in every wind, and moved in every
storm.
I often found myself
regretting my own existence, and wished myself dead ; and but for the hope of
being free, I have no doubt but that I should have killed myself, or done
something for which I should have been killed. While in this state of mind, I
was eager to hear any one speak of slavery. I was a ready listener. Every little
while, I could hear something about the abolitionists. It was sometime before I
found what the word meant. It was always used in such connections as to make it
an interesting word to me. If a slave ran away and succeeded in getting clear,
or if a slave killed his master, set fire to a barn, or did anything very wrong
in the mind of a slaveholder, it was spoken of as the fruit of abolition.
Hearing the word in this connexion very often, I set about learning what it
meant. The dictionary afforded me little or no help. I found it was "the act of
abolishing"; but then I did not know what was to be abolished. Here I was
perplexed. I did not dare to ask any one about its meaning, for I was satisfied
that it was something they wanted me to know very little about, After a patient
waiting, I got one of our city papers, containing an account of the number of
petitions from the North, praying for the abolition of slavery in the District
of Columbia, and of the slave trade between the States. From this time I
understood the words abolition and abolitionist, and always drew near when that
word was spoken, expecting to hear something of importance to myself and
fellow-slaves. The light broke in upon me by degrees. I went one day down on the
wharf of Mr. Waters ; and seeing two Irishmen unloading a scow of stone, I went,
unasked, and helped
them. When we had
finished, one of them came to me and asked me if I were a slave. I told him I
was. He asked, " Are ye a slave for life? "
I told him that I
was. The good Irishmen seemed to be deeply affected by the statement. He said to
the other that it was a pity so fine a little fellow as myself should be a slave
for life. He said it was a shame to hold me. They both advised me to run away to
the North ; that I should find friends there, and that I should be free. I
pretended not to be interested in what they said, and treated them as if I did
not understand them ; for I feared they might be treacherous. White men have
been known to encourage slaves to escape, and then to get the reward, catch them
and return them to their masters. I was afraid that these seemingly good men
might use me so ; but I nevertheless remembered their advice, and from that time
I resolved to run away. I looked forward to a time at which it would be safe for
me to escape. I was too young to think of doing so immediately ; besides, I
wished to learn how to write, as I might have occasion to write my own pass. I
consoled myself with the hope that I should one day find a good chance.
Meanwhile, I would learn to write.
The idea as to how I
might learn to write was suggested to me by being in Durgin and Bailey's
shipyard, and frequently seeing the ship carpenters, after hewing and getting a
piece of timber ready for use, write on the timber the name of that part of the
ship for which it was intended. When a piece of timber was intended for the
larboard side, it would be marked
thus " L. " When a
piece was for the starboard side, it would be marked thus "S." A piece for the
larboard side forward would be marked thus " L. F." When a piece was for the
starboard side forward, it would be marked thus " S. F." For larboard aft, it
would be marked thus " L. A." For starboard aft, it would be marked thus " S.
A." I soon learned the names of these letters, and for what they were intended
when placed upon a piece of timber in the ship-yard. I immediately commenced
copying them, and in a short time was able to make the four letters named. After
that, when I met with any boy who I knew could -write, I would tell him I could
write as well as he. The next word would be, "I don't believe you. Let me see
you try it." I would then make the letters which I had been so fortunate as to
learn, and ask him to beat that. In this way I got a good many lessons in
writing, which it is quite possible I should never have gotten in any other
way.
During this time my
copy-book was the board fence, brick wall, and pavement ; my pen and ink was a
lump of chalk. With these, I learned mainly how to write. I then commenced and
continued copying the italics in Webster's Spelling Book, until I could make
them all without looking on the book. By this time, my little Master Thomas had
gone to school, and learned how to write, and had written over a number of
copy-books. These had been brought home, and shown to some of our near
neighbours, and then laid aside. My mistress used to go to class-meeting at the
Wilk-street meetinghouse every Monday afternoon, and leave me to take care of
the house. When left thus, I used to spend the time in writing in the spaces
left in Master Thomas's copy book, copying what he had written. I continued to
do this, until I could write a hand very similar to that of Master Thomas. Thus,
after a long, tedious effort for years, I finally succeeded in learning how to
write.
CHAPTER
VIII.
IN a very short time
after I went to live at Baltimore, my old master's youngest son, Richard, died ;
and in about three years and six months after his death, my old master, Captain
Anthony, died, leaving only his son Andrew and daughter Lucretia to share his
estate. He died while on a visit to see his daughter at Hillsborough. Cut off
thus unexpectedly, he left no will as to the
disposal of his property. It was there- fore necessary to have a valuation of
the property, that it might be equally divided between Mrs. Lucretia and Master
Andrew. I was immediately sent for, to be valued with the other property. Here
again my feelings rose up in detestation of slavery. I had now a new conception
of my degraded condition. Prior to this, I had become, if not insensible to my
lot, at least partly so. I left Baltimore with a young heart overborne with
sadness, and a soul full of apprehension.
I took passage with
Captain Rowe, in the schooner Wild Cat, and after a sail of about twentyfour
hours, I found myself near the place of my birth. I had now been absent from it
almost, if not quite, five years. I, however, remembered the place very well. I
was only about five years old when I left it to go and live with my old master
on Colonel Lloyd's plantation ; so that I was now between ten and eleven years
old.
We were all ranked
together at the valuation. Men and women, old and young, married and single,
were ranked with horses, sheep, and swine. There were horses and men, cattle and
women, pigs and children, all holding the same rank in the scale of being, and
all were subjected to the same narrow examination. Silvery-headed age and
sprightly youth, maids and matrons had to undergo the same indelicate
inspection. At this moment, I saw more clearly than ever the brutalizing effects
of slavery upon both slave and slaveholder.
After the valuation,
then came the division. I have no language to express the high excitement and
deep anxiety which were felt among us poor slaves during this time. Our fate for
life was now to be decided. We had no more voice in that decision than the
brutes among whom we were ranked. A single word from the white men was enough
against all our wishes, prayers, and
entreaties to sunder for ever the dearest friends, dearest kindred, and
strongest ties known to human beings. In addition to the pain of separation,
there was the horrid dread of falling into the hands of Master Andrew. He was
known to us all as being a most cruel wretch, a common drunkard, who had, by his
reckless mismanagement and profligate issipation,
already wasted a
large portion of his father's property. We all felt that we might as well be
sold at once to the Georgia traders, as to pass into his hands ; for we knew
that that would be our inevitable condition, a condition held by us all in the
utmost horror and dread.
I suffered more
anxiety than most of my fellow slaves. I had known what it was to be kindly
treated ; they had known nothing of the kind. They had seen little or nothing of
the world. They were in very deed men and women of sorrow, and acquainted with
grief. Their backs had been made familiar with the bloody lash, so that they had
become callous ; mine was yet tender; for while at Baltimore, I got few
whippings, and few slaves could boast of a kinder master and mistress than
myself ; and the thought of passing out of their hands into those of Master
Andrew a man who, but a few days before, to give me a sample of his bloody
disposition, took my little brother by the throat, threw him on the ground, and
with the heel of his boot stamped upon his head till the blood gushed from his
nose and ears was well calculated to make me anxious as to my fate. After he had
committed this savage outrage upon my brother, he turned to me, and said that
was the way he meant to serve me one of these days, meaning, I suppose, when I
came into his possession.
Thanks to a kind
Providence, I fell to the portion of Mrs. Lucretia, and was sent immediately
back to Baltimore, to live again in the family of Master Hugh. Their joy at my
return equalled their sorrow at my departure. It was a glad day to me. I had
escaped a worse than lion's jaws. I was absent from Baltimore, for the purpose
of valuation and division, just about one month, and it seemed to have been
six.
Very soon after my
return to Baltimore, my mistress Lucretia died, leaving her husband and one
child, Amanda ; and in a very short time after her death, Master Andrew died.
Now all the property of my old master, slaves included, was in the hands of
strangers, strangers who had nothing to do with accumulating it. Not a slave was
left free. All remained slaves, from the youngest to the oldest. If any one
thing in my experience, more than another, served to deepen my conviction of the
infernal character of slavery, and to fill me with unutterable loathing of
slaveholders, it was their base ingratitude to my poor old grandmother. She had
served my old master faithfully from youth to old age. She had been the source
of all his wealth ; she had peopled his plantation with slaves ; she had become
a great-grandmother in his service. She had rocked him in infancy, attended him
in childhood, served him through life, and at his death wiped from his icy brow
the cold death-sweat, and closed his eyes for ever. She was nevertheless left a
slave a slave for life a slave in the hands of strangers ; and in their hands
she saw her children, her grandchildren, and her great-grandchildren divided,
like so many sheep, without being gratified with the small privilege of a single
word as to their or her own destiny.
And to cap the climax
of their base ingratitude and fiendish barbarity, my grandmother, who was now
very old, having outlived my old master and all his children, having seen the
beginning and end of all of them, and her present owners finding she was of but
little value, her frame already racked with the pains of old age, and complete
helplessness fast stealing
over her once active
limbs, they took her to the woods, built her a little hut, put up a little mud
chimney, and then made her welcome to the privilege of supporting herself there
in perfect loneliness ; thus virtually turning her out to die ! If my poor old
grandmother now lives, she lives to suffer in utter loneliness ; she lives to
remember and mourn over the loss of children, the loss of grandchildren, and the
loss of great-grandchildren.
They are, in the
language of the slave's poet,. Whittier:
"Gone, gone, sold and
gone
To the rice-swamp
dank and lone,
Where the slave-whip
ceaseless swings,
Where the noisome
insect stings,
Where the fever demon
strews
Poison with the
falling dews,
Where the sickly
sunbeams glare
Through the hot and
misty air :
Gone, gone, sold and
gone
To the rice-swamp
dank and lone.
From Virginia's hills
and waters
Woe is me, my stolen
daughters !"
The hearth is
desolate. The children, the unconscious children, who once sang and danced in
her presence, are gone. She gropes her way, in the darkness of age, for a drink
of water. Instead of the voices of her children, she hears by day the moans of
the dove, and by night the screams of the hideous owl. All is gloom. The grave
is at the door. And now, when
weighed down by the
pains and aches of old age, when the head inclines to the feet, when the
beginning and ending of human existence meet, and helpless infancy and painful
old age combine together at this time, this most needful time, the time for the
exercise of that tenderness and affection which children only can exercise
towards a declining parent my poor old grandmother, the devoted mother of twelve
children, is left all alone, in yonder little hut, before a few dim embers. She
stands she sits she staggers she falls she groans she dies and there are none of
her children or grandchildren present to wipe from her wrinkled brow, the cold
sweat of death, or to place beneath the sod her fallen remains. Will not a
righteous God visit for these things ?
In about two years
after the death of Mrs. Lucretia, Master Thomas married his second wife. Her
name was Rowena Hamilton. She was the eldest daughter of Mr. "William Hamilton.
Master now lived in St, Michael's. Not long after his marriage, a
misunderstanding took place between himself and Master Hugh ; and as a means of
punishing his brother, he took me from him to live with
himself at St. Machael's. Here I underwent another most painful separation. It,
however, was not so severe as the one I dreaded at the division of property ;
for, during this interval, a great change had taken place in Master Hugh and his
once kind and affectionate wife. The influence of brandy upon him, and of
slavery upon her, had effected a disastrous change in the characters of
both ; so that, as far as they were concerned, I thought I had little to lose by
the change. But it was not to them that T was attached. It was to those little
Baltimore boys that I felt the strongest attachment. I had received many good
lessons from them, and was still receiving them, and the thought of leaving them
was painful indeed. I was leaving, too, without the hope of ever being allowed
to return. Master Thomas had said he would never let me return again. The
barrier betwixt himself and his brother he considered impassable. I then had to
regret that I did not at least make the attempt to carry out my resolution to
run away ; for the chances of success are tenfold greater from the city than
from the country.
I sailed from
Baltimore for St. Michael's in the sloop Amanda, Captain Edward Dodson. On my
passage, I paid particular attention to the direction which the steamboats took
to go to Philadelphia. I found, instead of going down, on reaching North Point
they went up the bay, in a north-easterly direction. I deemed this knowledge of
the utmost importance. My determination to run away was again revived. I
resolved to wait only so long as the offering of a favourable opportunity. When
that came, I was determined to be off.
CHAPTER
IX.
I HAVE now reached a
period of my life when I can give dates. I left Baltimore, and went to live with
Master Thomas Auld, at St. Michael's, in March, 1832. It was now more than seven
years since I lived with him in the family of my old master, on Colonel Lloyd's
plantation. We of course were now almost entire strangers to each other. He was
to me a new master, and I to him a new
slave. I was ignorant of his temper and disposition ; he was equally so of mine.
A very short time, however, brought us into full acquaintance with each other. I
was made acquainted with his wife not less than with himself. They were well
matched., being equally mean and cruel. I was now, for the first time during a
space of more than seven years, made to feel
the painful gnawings of hunger a something which I had not experienced before,
since I left Colonel Lloyd's plantation. It went hard enough with me then when I
could look back to no period at which I had enjoyed a sufficiency. It was
tenfold harder after living in Master Hugh's family, where I had always had
enough to eat, and of that which was good. I have said Master Thomas was a mean
man. He was so. Not to give a slave enough to eat is regarded as the most
aggravated developement of meanness, even among slaveholders. The rule is, no
matter how coarse the food, only let there be enough of
it.
This is the theory ;
and in the part of Maryland from which I came, it is the general practice,
though there are many exceptions. Master Thomas gave us enough of neither coarse
nor fine food. There were four slaves of us in the kitchen my sister Eliza, my
aunt Priscilla, Henny, and myself ; and we were allowed less than half of a
bushel of corn-meal per week, and very little else, either in the shape of meat
or vegetables. It was not enough for us to subsist upon. We were therefore
reduced to the wretched necessity of living at the expense of our neighbours.
This we did by begging and stealing, whichever came handy in the time of need,
the one being considered as legitimate as the other. A great many times have we,
poor creatures, been nearly perishing with hunger, when food, in abundance lay
mouldering in the safe and smoke-house, and our pious mistress was aware of the
fact ; and yet that mistress and her husband would kneel every morning, and pray
that God would bless them in basket and store !
Bad as all
slaveholders are, we seldom meet one destitute of every element of character
commanding respect. My master was one of this rare sort. I do not know of one
single noble act ever performed by him. The leading trait in his character was
meanness ; and if there were any other element in his nature, it was made
subject to this. He was mean ; and like most other mean men, he lacked the
ability to conceal his meanness. Captain Auld was not born a slaveholder. He had
been a poor man, master only of a Bay craft. He came into possession of all his
slaves by marriage ; and of all men, adopted slaveholders are the worst. He was
cruel, but cowardly. He commanded without firmness. In the enforcement of his
rules, he was at times rigid, and at times lax. At times, he spoke to his slaves
with the firmness of Napoleon, and the fury of a demon ; at other times, he
might well be mistaken for an inquirer who had lost his way. He did
nothing of himself. He might have passed for a lion, but for his ears. In all
things noble which he attempted, his own meanness shone most conspicuous. His
airs, words, and actions were the airs, words, and actions of born slaveholders,
and, being assumed, were awkward enough. He was not even a good imitator. He
possessed all the disposition to deceive, but
wanted the power. Having no re- sources within himself, he was compelled to be
the copyist of many, and being such, he was forever the victim of inconsistency
; and of consequence he was an object of contempt, and was held as such \even by
his slaves. The luxury of having slaves of his own to wait upon him was
something new and unprepared for.
He was a slaveholder
without the ability to hold slaves'.
He found himself
incapable of managing his slaves either by force, fear, or fraud. We seldom
called him " master ;" we generally called him "Captain Auld," and were hardly
disposed to title him at all. I doubt not that our conduct had much to do in
making him appear awkward, and of consequence fretful. Our want of reverence for
him must have perplexed him greatly. He wished to have us call him master, but
lacked the firmness necessary to command us to do so. His wife used to insist
upon our calling him so, but to no purpose.
In August, 1832, my
master attended a Methodist camp-meeting, held in the Bay-side, Talbot county,
and there experienced religion. I indulged a faint hope that his conversion
would lead him to emancipate his slaves, and that if he did not do this, it
would, at any rate, make him more kind and humane, I was disappointed in both
these respects. It neither made him to be humane to his slaves, nor to
emancipate them. If it had any effect on his character, it made him more cruel
and hateful in all his ways ; for I believe him to have been a much worse man
after his conversion than before. Prior to his conversion, he relied upon his
own depravity to shield and sustain him in his savage barbarity ; but after his
conversion, he found religious
sanction and support
for his slaveholding cruelty. He made the greatest pretensions to piety. His
house was the house of prayer. He prayed morning, noon, and night. He very soon
distinguished himself among his brethren, and was soon made a class-leader and
exhorter. His activity in revivals was great, and he proved himself an
instrument in the hands of the
church, in converting
many souls.
His house was the-
preachers' home. They used to take great pleasure in coming there to put up ;
for while he starved us, he stuffed them. We have had three or four preachers
there at a time. The names of those who used to come most frequently while I
lived there, were Mr. Storks, Mr. Ewery, Mr. Humphry, and Mr. Hicky. I have also
seen Mr. George Cookman at our house. We slaves loved Mr. Cookman. We believed
him to be a good man. We thought him instrumental in getting Mr. Samuel
Harrison, a very rich slaveholder, to emancipate his slaves ; and by some means
got the impression that he was labouring to effect the emancipation of all the
slaves. When he was at our house, we were sure to be called in to prayers. When
the others were there, we were sometimes called in, and sometimes not. Mr.
Cookman took more notice of us than either of the other ministers. He could not
come among us without betraying his sympathy for us, and stupid as we were, we
had the sagacity to see it. While I lived with my master in St. Michael's, there
was a white young man, a Mr. Wilson, who proposed to keep a Sabbath- school for
the instruction of such slaves as might be disposed to learn to read the New
Testament. We met but three times, when Mr. West and Mr. Fairbanks, both
class-leaders, with many others, came upon us with sticks and other missiles,
drove us off, and forbade us to meet again. Thus ended our little Sabbath-school
in the pious town of St. Michael's.
I have said my master
found religious sanction for his cruelty. As an example, I will state one of
many facts going to prove the charge. I have seen him tie up a lame young woman,
and whip her with a heavy cowskin upon her naked shoulders, causing the warm red
blood to drip ; and, in justification of the bloody deed, he would quote this
passage of Scripture
" He that knoweth his
master's will, and doeth it not, shall be beaten with many
stripes."'
Master would keep
this lacerated young woman tied up in this horrid situation four or five hours
at a time. I have known him to tie her up early in the morning, and whip her
before breakfast ; leave her, go to his store, return at dinner, and whip her
again, cutting her in the places already made raw with his cruel lash. The
secret of master's cruelty toward Henny is found in the fact of her being almost
helpless. When quite a child, she fell into the fire, and burned herself
horribly. Her hands were so burnt that she never got the use of them. She could
do very little but bear heavy burdens. She was to master a bill of expense ; and
as he was a mean man, she was a constant offence to him. He seemed desirous of
getting the poor girl out of existence. He gave her away once to his sister ;
but being a poor gift, she was not disposed to keep her. Finally, my benevolent
master, to use his own words, " set her adrift to take care of herself." Here
was a recently-converted man, holding on upon the mother, and at the same time
turning out her helpless child to starve and die !
Master Thomas was one
of the many pious slaveholders, who hold slaves for the very charitable purpose
of "taking care of them." My master
and myself had quite a number of differences. He found me unsuitable to his
purpose. My city life, he said, had had a very pernicious effect upon me. It had
almost ruined me for every good purpose, and fitted me for every thing which was
bad. One of my greatest faults was that of letting his horse run away, and go
down to his father-in-law's farm, which was about five miles from St. Michael's.
I would then have to go after it. My reason for this kind of carelessness, or
carefulness, was, that I could always get something to eat when I went there.
Master William Hamilton, my master's father-in-law, always gave his slaves
enough to eat. I never left there hungry, no matter how great the need of my
speedy return. Master Thomas at length said he would stand it
no
longer. I had lived
with him nine months, during which time he had given me a number of severe
whippings, all to no good purpose. He resolved to put me out, as he said, to be
broken ; and for this purpose, he let me for one year to a man named Edward
Covey. Mr. Covey was a poor man, a farm renter.
He rented the place
upon which he lived, as also the hands with which he tilled it. Mr. Covey had
acquired a very high reputation for breaking young slaves, and this reputation
was of immense value to him. It enabled him to get his farm tilled with much
less expense to himself, than he could have had it done without such a
reputation. Some slaveholders thought
it not much loss to
allow Mr. Covey to have their slaves one year, for the sake of the training to
which they were subjected, without any other compensation. He could hire young
help with great ease, in consequence of this reputation. Added to the natural
good qualities of Mr. Covey, he was a professor of religion a pious soul a
member and a class-leader in the Methodist church. All of this added weight to
his reputation as a "nigger-breaker." I was aware of all the facts, having been
made acquainted with them by a young man who had lived there. I nevertheless
made the change gladly ; for I was sure of getting enough to eat, which is not
the smallest consideration to a hungry man.
CHAPTER
X.
I LEFT Mr. Thomas's
house, and went to live with Mr. Covey on the 1st of January, 1833. I was now
for the first time in my life, a field hand. In my new employment, I found
myself even more awkward than a country boy appeared to be in a large city. I
had been at my new home but one week, before Mr. Covey gave me a very severe
whipping, cutting my back, causing the blood to run, and raising ridges on my
flesh as large as my little finger.
The details of this
affair are as follows : Mr. Covey sent me, very early in the morning of one of
our coldest days in the month of January, to the woods to get a load of wood. He
gave me a team of unbroken oxen. He told me which was the in-hand ox, and which
the off-hand one. He then tied the end of a large rope around the horns of the
in-hand ox, and gave me the other end of it, and told me, if the oxen started to
run, that I must hold on upon the rope. I had never driven oxen, before, and of
course I was very awkward. I, however, succeeded in getting to the edge of the
woods with little difficulty ; but I had got a very few rods into the woods,
when the oxen took fright, and started full tilt, carrying the cart against
trees and over stumps, in the most frightful manner. I expected every moment
that my brains would be dashed out against the trees. After running thus for a
considerable distance, they finally upset the cart, dashing it with great force
against a tree, and threw themselves into a dense thicket. How I escaped death,
I do not know. There I was, entirely alone, in a thick wood, in a place new to
me. My cart was upset and shattered, my oxen were entangled among the young
trees, and there was none to help me. After a long spell of effort, I succeeded
in getting my cart righted, my
oxen disentangled,
and again yoked to the *cart. I now proceeded with my team to the place where I
had the day before been chopping wood, and loaded my cart pretty heavily,
thinking in this way to tame my oxen. I then proceeded on my way home. I had now
consumed one half of the day. I got out of the woods safely, and now felt out of
danger. I stopped my oxen to open the gate ; and just as I did so, before I
could get hold of my ox-rope, the oxen again started, rushed through the gate,
catching it between the wheel and the body of the cart, tearing it to pieces,
and coming within a few inches of crushing me against the gate-post. Thus twice,
in one short day, I escaped death by the merest chance. On my return, I told Mr.
Covey what had happened, and how it happened.
He ordered me to
return to the woods again immediately. I did so, and he followed on after me.
Just as I got into the woods, he came up and told me to stop my cart, and that
he would teach me how to trifle away my time, and break gates. He then went to a
large gum-tree, and with his axe cut three large switches, and, after trimming
them up neatly with his pocket-knife, he ordered me to take off my clothes. I
made him no answer, but stood with my clothes on. He repeated his order. I still
made him no answer, nor did I move to strip myself. Upon this he rushed at me
with the fierceness of a tiger, tore off my clothes, and lashed me till he had
worn out his switches, cutting me so savagely as to leave the marks visible for
a long time after. This whipping was the first of a number just like it, and for
similar offences.
I lived with Mr.
Covey one year. During the first six months of that year, scarce a week passed
without his whipping me. I was seldom free from a sore back. My awkwardness was
almost always his excuse for whipping me. We were worked fully up to the point
of endurance. Long before day we were up, our .horses fed, and by the first
approach of day we were off to the field with our hoes and ploughing teams. Mr.
Covey gave us enough to eat, but scarce time to eat it. We were often less than
five minutes taking our meals. We were often in the field from the first
approach of day till its last lingering ray had left us ; and at saving
fodder-time midnight often caught us in the field binding
blades.
Covey would be out
with us. The way he used to stand it, was this. He would spend the most of his
afternoons in bed. He would then come out fresh in the evening, ready to urge us
on with his word, example, and frequently with the whip. Mr. Covey was one of
the few slaveholders who could and did work with his hands. He was a
hard-working man. He knew by himself just what a man or a boy could do. There
was no deceiving him. His work went on in his absence almost as well as in his
presence : and he had the faculty of making us feel that he was ever present
with us. This he did by surprising us. He seldom approached the spot where we
were at work openly, if he could do it secretly. He always aimed at taking us by
surprise. Such was his cunning, that we used to call him, among ourselves, ' the
snake."
When we were at work
in the corn-field, he would sometimes crawl on his hands and knees to avoid
detection, and all at once he would rise nearly in our midst, and scream out,
"Ha, ha ! Come, come ! Dash on, dash on !*' This being his mode of attack, it
was never safe to stop a single minute. His comings were like a thief in the
night. He appeared to us as being ever at hand. He was under every tree, behind
every stump, in every bush, and at every window on the plantation. He would
sometimes mount his horse, as if bound to St. Michael's, a distance of seven
miles, and in half an hour afterwards you would see him coiled up in the corner
of the wood-fence, watching every motion of the slaves. He would, for this
purpose, leave his horse tied up in the woods. Again, he would sometimes walk up
to us, and give us orders as though he was upon the point of starting on a long
journey, turn his back upon us, and make as though he was going to the house to
get ready ; and before he would get half way thither, he would turn short, and
crawl into a fences-corner, or behind some tree, and there watch us till the
going down of the sun.
Mr. Covey's fort
consisted in his power to deceive. His life was devoted to planning and
perpetrating the grossest deceptions. Every thing he possessed in the shape of
learning or religion, he made conform to his disposition to deceive. He seemed
to think himself equal to deceiving the Almighty. He would make a short prayer
in the morning, and a long prayer at night ; and, strange
as it may seem, few men would at times appear more devotional than he. The
exercises of his family devotions were always commenced with singing, and as he
was a very poor singer himself, the duty of raising the hymn generally came upon
me. He would read his hymn and nod at me to commence. I would at times do so ;
at others, I would not. My noncompliance would
almost always produce much confusion. To show himself independent of me, he
would start and stagger through with his hymn in the most discordant manner. In
this state of mind, he prayed with more than ordinary spirit. Poor man ! such
was his disposition, and success at deceiving, I do verily believe that he
sometimes deceived himself into the solemn belief, that he was a sincere
worshipper of the most high God ; and this, too, at a time when he may be said
to have been guilty of compelling his woman slave to commit the sin of adultery.
The facts in the case
are these : Mr. Covey was a poor man ; he was just commencing in life ; he was
only able to buy one slave ; and shocking as is the fact, he bought her, as he
said, for a breeder. This woman was named Caroline. Mr. Covey bought her from
Mr. Thomas Lowe, about six miles from St. Michael's. To complete the wickedness
of this transaction, Covey hired of Mr. Samuel Harrison a married slave, who was
torn from his own wife, and compelled to live as the husband of this wretched
woman. Eventually she gave birth to twins, and such was the joy of Covey and his
wife, that nothing they could do for Caroline during her confinement was too
good, or too hard to be done. The children were regarded as being quite an
addition to his wealth.
If at any one time of
my life more than another, I was made to drink the bitterest dregs of slavery,
that time was during the first six months of my stay with Mr. Covey. We were
worked in all weathers. It was never too hot or too cold ; it could never rain,
blow, hail, or snow too hard for us to work in the field. Work, work, work was
scarcely more the order of the day than of the night. The longest days were too
short for him, and the shortest nights too long for him. I was somewhat
unmanageable when I first went there, but a few months of this discipline tamed
me. Mr. Covey succeeded in breaking me. I was broken in body, soul, and spirit.
My natural elasticity was crushed, my intellect languished, the disposition to
read departed, the cheerful spark that lingered about my eye died ; the dark
night of slavery closed in upon me ; and behold a man transformed into a brute.
Sunday was my only leisure time. I spent this in a sort of beast-like stupor,
between sleep and wake, under some large tree. At times I would rise up, a flash
of energetic freedom would dart through my soul, accompanied with a faint gleam
of hope, that flickered for a moment, and then vanished. I sank down again,
mourning over my wretched condition. I was sometimes prompted to take my life,
and that of Covey, but was prevented by a combination of hope and fear. My
sufferings on this plantation seem now like a dream rather than a stem
reality.
Our house stood
within a few rods of the Chesapeake bay, whose broad bosom was ever white with
sails from every quarter of the habitable globe. Those beautiful vessels robed
in purest white, so delightful to the eye of freemen, were to me so many
shrouded ghosts, to terrify and torment me with thoughts of my wretched
condition. I have often in the deep stillness of a summer's Sabbath, stood all
alone upon the lofty banks of that noble bay, and traced, with saddened heart
and tearful eye, the countless number of sails moving off to the mighty ocean.
The sight of these always affected me powerfully. My thoughts would compel
utterance ; and there, with no audience but the Almighty, I would pour out my
soul's complaint, in my rude way, with an apostrophe to the moving multitude of
ships : " You are loosed from your moorings, and are free ; I am fast in my
chains, and am a slave ! You move merrily before the
gentle gale, and I sadly before the bloody whip ! You are freedom's swift-winged
angels, that fly round the world ; I am confined in bands of iron ! that I were
free ! O, that I were on one of your gallant decks, and under your protecting
wing ! Alas ! betwixt me and you the turbid waters roll. Go on, go on. that I
could also go ! Could I but swim ! If I could fly ! O, why was I born a man, of
whom to make a brute ! The glad ship is gone ; she hides in the dim distance. I
am left in the hottest hell of unending slavery. God, save me ! God, deliver
me ! Let me be free !
Is there any God ? Why am I a slave 1 I will run away. I will not stand it. Get
caught or get clear, I'll try it. I had as well die with ague as the fever. I
have only one life to lose. I had as well be killed running as die standing.
Only think of it ; one hundred miles straight north, and I am free ! Try it ?
Yes ! God helping me, I will. It cannot be that I shall live and die a slave. I
will take to the water. This very bay shall yet bear me into
freedom.
The steamboats
steered in a north-east course from North Point. I will do the same ; and when I
go to the head of the bay, I will turn my canoe adrift, and walk strait through
Delaware into Pennsylvania. When I get there, I shall not be required to have a
pass ; I can travel without being disturbed. Let but the first opportunity
offer, and come what will, I am off. Meanwhile,
I will try to bear up
under the yoke. I am not the only slave in the world. Why should I fret ? I can
bear as much as any of them. Besides I am but a boy, and all boys are bound to
some one. It may be that my misery in slavery will only increase my happiness
when I get free, There is a better day coming."
Thus I used to think,
and thus I used to speak to myself; goaded almost to madness at one moment, and
at the next reconciling myself to my wretched lot. I have already intimated that
my condition was- much worse during the first six months of my stay at Mr.
Covey's than in the last six. The circumstances leading to the change in Mr.
Covey's course toward me
form an epoch in my
humble history. You have seen how a man was made a slave ; you shall see how a
slave "was made a man.
On one of the hottest
days of the month of August, 1833, Bill Smith, William Hughes, a slave named
Eli, and myself, were engaged in fanning wheat. Hughes was clearing the
fanned
wheat from before the
fan, Eli was turning, Smith was feeding, and I was carrying wheat to the fan.
The work was simple, requiring strength rather than intellect j yet, to one
entirely unused to such work, it came very hard. About three o'clock of that
day, I broke down ; my strength failed me ; I was seized with a violent aching
of the head, attended with extreme dizziness ; I trembled in every limb. Finding
what was coming, I nerved myself up, feeling it would never do to stop work. I
stood as long as I could stagger to the hopper with grain. When I could stand no
longer, I fell, and felt as if held down by some immense weight. The fan of
course stopped ; every one had his own work to do ; and no one could do the work
of the other, and have his own go on at the same time.
Mr. Covey was at the
house, about one hundred yards from the treading-yard where we were fanning. On
hearing the fan stop, he left immediately, and came to the spot where we were.
He hastily enquired what the matter was. Bill answered that I was sick, and
there was no one to bring wheat to the fan. I had by this time crawled away
under the side of the post and rail-fence by which
the yard was enclosed, hoping to find relief by getting out of the sun. He then
asked where I was. He was told by one of the hands. He came to the spot, and
after looking at me awhile, asked me what was the matter. I told him as well as
I could, for I scarce had strength to speak. He then gave me a savage kick in
the side, and told me to get up. I tried to do so, but fell back in the attempt.
He gave me another kick, and again told me to rise. I again tried, and succeeded
in gaining my feet : but, stooping to get the tub with which I was feeding the
fan, I again staggered and fell. While down in this situation, Mr. Covey took up
the hickory slat with which Hughes had been striking off the half-bushel
measure, and with it gave me a heavy blow upon the head, making a large wound,
and the blood ran freely ; and with this, again told me to get up. I made no
effort to comply, having now made up my mind to let him do his worst. In a short
time after receiving this blow, my head grew better. Mr. Covey had now left me
to my fate.
At this moment I
resolved, for the first time, to go to my master, enter a complaint, and ask his
protection. In order to this, I must that afternoon walk seven miles ; and this,
under the circumstances, was truly a severe undertaking. I was exceedingly
feeble ; made so as much by the kicks and blows which I received, as by the
severe fit of sickness to which I had been subjected. I, however, watched my
chance, while Covey was looking in an opposite direction, and started for St.
Michael's. I succeeded in getting a considerable distance on my way to the
woods, when Covey discovered me, and called after me to come back, threatening
what he would do if I did not come. I disregarded both his calls and his
threats, and made my way to the woods as fast as my feeble state would allow ;
and thinking I might be overhauled by him if I kept the road, I walked through
the woods, keeping far enough from the road to avoid
detection, and near
enough to prevent losing my way. I had not gone far, before my little strength
again failed me. I could go no farther. I fell down, and lay for a considerable
time, The blood was yet oozing from the wound on my head.
For a time I thought
I should bleed to death, and think now that I should have done so, but that the
blood so matted my hair as to stop the wound. After lying there about three
quarters of
an hour, I nerved
myself up again, and started on my way, through bogs and briers, barefooted and
bareheaded, tearing my feet sometimes at nearly every step ; and after a journey
of about seven miles, occupying some five hours to perform it, I arrived at
master's store. I then presented an appearance enough to affect any but a heart
of iron. From the crown of my
head to my feet, I
was covered with blood. My hair was all clotted with dust and blood ; my shirt
was stiff with blood. My legs and feet were torn in sundry places with briers
and thorns, and were also covered with blood. I suppose I looked like a man who
had escaped a den of wild beasts, and barely escaped them. In this state I
appeared before my master, humbly
entreating him to
interpose his authority for my protection.
I told him all the
circumstances as well as I could, and it seemed, as I spoke, at times to affect
him. He would then walk the floor, and seek to justify Covey by saying he
expected I deserved it. He asked me what I wanted. I told him to let me get a
new home ; that as sure as I lived with Mr. Covey again, I should live with but
to die with him; that Covey would surely kill me he was in a fair way for it.
Master Thomas ridiculed the idea that there was any danger of Mr. Covey's
killing me, and said that he knew Mr. Covey ; that he was a good man, and that
he could not think of taking me from him ; that should he do so, he would lose
the whole year's wages ; that I belonged to Mr. Covey for one year, and that I
must go back to him, come what might ; and that I must not trouble him with any
more stories, or that he would himself get hold of me. After threatening me
thus, he gave me a very large dose of salts, telling me that I might remain in St.
Michael's that night, (it being quite late,) but that I must be off back to Mr.
Covey's early in the morning ; and that if I did not, he would get hold of me,
which meant that he would whip me.
I remained all night,
and according to his orders, I started off to Covey's in the morning, (Saturday
morning) wearied in body and broken in spirit. I got no supper that night, or
breakfast that morning. I reached Covey's about nine o'clock ; and just as I was
getting over the fence that divided Mrs. Kemp's fields from ours, out ran Covey
with his cowskin, to give me another
whipping. Before he
could reach me, I succeeded in getting to the cornfield ; and as the corn was
very high, it afforded me the means of hiding. He seemed very angry, and
searched for me a long time. My behaviour was altogether unaccountable. He
finally gave up the chase, thinking, I suppose, that as I must come home for
something to eat ; he would give himself no further trouble in looking for me. I
spent that day mostly in the woods, having the alternative before me, to go home
and be whipped to death, or stay in the woods and be starved to death.
That night, I fell in
with Sandy Jenkins, a slave with whom I was somewhat acquainted. Sandy had a
free wife, who lived about four miles from Mr. Covey's ; and it being Saturday,
he was on his way to see her. I told him my circumstances, and he very kindly
invited me to go home with him. I went home with him, and talked this whole
matter over, and got his advice as to what course it was best for me to pursue.
I found Sandy an old adviser. He told me, with great solemnity, I must go back
to Covey ; but that before I went, I must go with him into another part of the
woods, where there was a certain root, which, if I would take some of it with
me, carrying it always on my right side, would render it impossible for Mr.
Covey, or any other white man, to whip me. He said he had carried it for years ;
and since he had done so, he had never received a blow, and never expected to,
while he carried it. I at first rejected the idea, that the simple carrying of a
root in my pocket would have any such effect as he had said, and was not
disposed to take it ; but Sandy impressed the necessity with much earnestness,
telling me it could do no harm, if it did no good.
To please him, I at
length took the root, and, according to his direction, carried it upon my right
side. This was Sunday morning. I immediately started for home ; and upon
entering the yard gate, out came Mr. Covey on his way to meeting. He spoke to me
very kindly, bade me drive the pigs from a lot near by, and passed on towards
the chuch. Now this singular conduct of Mr. Covey really made me begin to think
that there was something in the root which Sandy had given me ; and had it been
on any other day than Sunday, I could have attributed the conduct to no other
cause than the influence of that root ; and as it was, I was half inclined to
think the root to be something more than I at first had taken it to be. All went
well till Monday morning. On this
morning, the virtue of the root was fully tested. Long before daylight, I was
called to go and rub, curry, and feed the horses. I obeyed, and was glad to
obey.
But whilst thus
engaged, whilst in the act of throwing down some blades from the loft, Mr. Covey
entered the stable with a long rope ; and just as I was half out of the loft, he
caught hold of my legs, and was about tying me. As soon as I found what he was
up to, I gave a sudden spring, and as I did so, he holding to my legs, I was
brought sprawling on the stable floor. Mr. Covey seemed now to think he had me,
and could do what he pleased ; but at this moment from whence came the spirit I
don't know I resolved to fight ; and suiting my action to the resolution, I
seized Covey hard by the throat ; and as I did so, I rose. He held on to me, and
I to him. My resistance was so entirely unexpected, that Covey seemed taken all
aback. He trembled like a leaf. This gave me assurance, and I held him uneasy,
causing the blood to run where I touched him with the ends of my fingers. Mr.
Covey soon called out to Hughes for
help. Hughes came,
and, while Covey held me, attempted to tie my right hand. While he was in the
act of doing so, I watched my chance, and gave him a heavy kick close under the
ribs. This kick fairly sickened Hughes, so that he left me in the hands of Mr.
Covey. This kick had the effect of not only weakening Hughes, but Covey also.
When he saw Hughes
bending over with pain, his courage quailed. He asked me if I meant to persist
in my resistance. I told him I did, come what might ; that he had used me like a
brute for six months, and that I was determined to be used so no longer. With
that, he strove to drag me to a stick that was lying just out of the stable
door. He meant to knock me down. But just as he was leaning over to get the
stick, I seized him with both hands by his collar, and brought him by a sudden
snatch to the ground. By this time, Bill came. Covey called upon him for
assistance. Bill wanted to know what he could do. Covey said, " Take hold of
him, take hold of him !"
Bill said his master
hired him out to work, and not to help to whip me ; so he left Covey and myself
to fight our own battle out. We were at it for nearly two hours. Covey at length
let me go, puffing and blowing at a great rate, saying that if I had not
resisted, he would not have whipped me half so much. The truth was, that he had
not whipped me at all. I considered him as getting entirely the worst end of the
bargain ; for he had drawn no blood from me, but I had from him. The whole six
months afterwards, that I spent with Mr. Covey, he never laid the weight of his
finger upon me in anger. He would occasionally say, he didn't want to get hold
of me again. "No," thought I, "you need not; for you will come off worse than
you did before."
This battle with Mr.
Covey was the turning-point in my career as a slave. It rekindled the few
expiring embers of freedom, and revived within me a sense of my own manhood. It
recalled the departed self-confidence, and inspired me again with a
determination to be free. The gratification afforded by the triumph was a full
compensation for whatever else might follow, even death itself. He
only can understand the deep satisfaction which I experienced, who has himself
repelled by force the bloody arm of slavery. I felt as I never felt before. It
was a glorious resurrection from the tomb of slavery to the heaven of freedom.
My long-crushed spirit rose, cowardice departed, bold defiance took its place ;
and I now resolved that, however long I might remain a
slave in form, the day had passed for ever when I could be a slave in fact. I
did not hesitate to let it be known of me, that the white man who expected to
succeed in whipping, must also succeed in killing me. From this time I was never
again what might be called fairly whipped, though I remained a slave four years
afterwards. I had several fights, but was never
whipped.
It was for a long
time a matter of surprise to me, why Mr. Covey did not immediately have me taken
by the constable to the whipping-post, and there regularly whipped for the crime
of raising my hand against a white man in defence of myself. And the only
explanation I can now think of does not entirely satisfy me ; but such as it is,
I will give it. Mr. Covey enjoyed the most unbounded reputation for being a
first rate overseer and
negro-breaker. It was of considerable importance to him. That reputation was at
stake ; and had he sent me a boy about sixteen years old to the public
whipping-post, his reputation would have been lost ; so, to save his reputation,
he suffered me to go unpunished.
My term of actual
service to Mr. Edward Covey ended on Christmas day, 1833. The days between
Christmas and New Year's day are allowed as holidays; and, accordingly, we were
not required to perform any labor, more than to feed and take care of the stock.
This time we regarded as our own. by the grace of our masters ; and we therefore
used or abused it nearly as we pleased. Those of us who had families at a
distance, were generally allowed to spend the whole six days in their society.
This time, however, was spent in various ways. The sober, staid, thinking and
industrious of our number would employ themselves in making corn-brooms, mats,
horse-collars, and baskets ; and another class of us would spend the time in
hunting opossums, hares, and coons. But by far the larger part engaged in such
sports and merriments as ball-playing, wrestling, running foot-races, fiddling,
dancing, and drinking whiskey : and this latter mode of spending the time was by
far the most agreeable to the feelings of our masters. A slave who would work
during the holidays was considered by our
masters as scarcely
deserving them. He was regarded as one who rejected the favor of his master. It
was deemed a disgrace not to get drunk at Christmas ; and he was regarded as
lazy indeed, who had not provided himself with the necessary means, during the
year, to get whiskey enough to last him through
Christmas.
From what I know of
the effect of these holidays upon the slave, I believe them to be among the most
effective means in the hands of the slaveholder in keeping down the spirit of
insurrection. Were the slaveholders at once to abandon this practice, I have not
the slightest doubt it would lead to an immediate insurrection among the slaves.
These holidays serve as
conductors, or
safety-valves, to carry off the rebellious spirit of enslaved humanity. But for
these, the slave would be forced up to the wildest desperation ; and woe betide
the slaveholder, the day he ventures to remove or hinder the operation of those
conductors ! I warn him that, in such an event, a spirit will go forth in their
midst, more to be dreaded than the most appalling
earthquake.
The holidays are part
and parcel of the gross fraud, wrong, and inhumanity of slavery. They are
professedly a custom established by the benevolence of the slaveholders ; but I
undertake to say it is the result of selfishness, and one of the grossest frauds
committed upon the down-trodden slave. They do not give the slaves this time,
because they would not like to have their work during its continuance, but
because they know it would be unsafe to deprive them of it. This will be seen by
the fact, that the slaveholders like to have their slaves spend those days just
in such a manner as to make them as glad of their ending as of their beginning.
Their object seems to be, to disgust their slaves with freedom, by plunging them
into the lowest depths of dissipation. For instance, the slaveholders not only
like to see the slave drink of his own accord, but will adopt various plans to
make him drunk. One plan is, to make bets on their slaves, as to who can drink
the most whiskey without getting drunk ; and in this way they succeed in getting
whole multitudes to drink to excess.
Thus, when the slave
asks for virtuous freedom, the cunning slaveholder, knowing his ignorance,
cheats him with a dose of vicious dissipation, artfully labelled with the name
of liberty. The most of us used to drink it down, and the result was just what
might be supposed many of us were led to think that there was little to choose
between liberty and slavery. We felt, and very properly too, that we had almost
as well be slaves to man as to rum. So, when the holidays ended, we staggered up
from the filth of our wallowing, took a long breath, and
marched
to the field,
feeling, upon the whole, rather glad to go, from what our master had deceived us
into a belief was freedom, back to the arms of
slavery.
I have said that this
mode of treatment is a part of the whole system of fraud and inhumanity of
slavery. It is so. The mode here adopted to disgust the slave with freedom, by
allowing him to see only the abuse of it, is carried out in other things. For
instance, a slave loves molasses ; he steals some. His master, in many cases,
goes off to town, and buys a large quantity
; he returns, takes
his whip, and commands the slave to eat the molasses until the poor fellow is
made sick at the very mention of it. The same mode is sometimes adopted to make
the slaves refrain from asking for more food than their regular allowance. A
slave runs through his allowance, and applies for more. His master is enraged at
him ; but not willing to send
him off without food,
gives him more than is necessary, and compels him to eat it within a given time.
Then, if he complains that he cannot eat it, he is said to be satisfied neither
full nor fasting, and is whipped for being hard to please ! I have an abundance
of such illustrations of the same principle, drawn from my own observation, but
think the cases I have cited sufficient. The practice is a very common
one.
On the 1st of
January, 1834, I left Mr. Covey, and went to live with Mr. William Freeland, who
lived about three miles from St. Michael's. I soon found Mr. Freeland a very
different man from Mr. Covey. Though not rich, he was what would be called an
educated southern gentleman. Mr. Covey, as I have shown, was a well-trained
negro-breaker and slavedriver. The former (slaveholder though he was) seemed to
possess some regard for honour, some reverence for justice, and some respect for
humanity. The latter seemed totally insensible to all such
sentiments.
Mr. Freeland had many
of the faults peculiar to slaveholders, such as being very passionate and
fretful ; but I must do him the justice to say, that he was exceedingly free
from those degrading vices to which Mr. Covey was constantly addicted. The one
was open and frank, and we always knew where to find him ; the other was a most
artful deceiver, and could be
understood only by
such as were skilful enough to detect his cunningly-devised frauds. Another
advantage I gained in my new master was, he made no pretensions to, or
profession of religion ; and this, in my opinion, was truly a great advantage. I
assert most unhesitatingly, that the religion of the south is a mere covering
for the most horrid crimes, a justifier of the
most appalling
barbarity, a sanctifier of the most hateful frauds, and a dark shelter, under
which the darkest, foulest, grossest, and most infernal deeds of slaveholders
find the strongest protection.
Were I to be again
reduced to the chains of slavery, next to that enslavement, I should regard
being the slave of a religious master the greatest calamity that could befall
me, For, of all slaveholders with whom I have ever met, religious slaveholders
are the worst. I have ever found them the meanest and basest, the most cruel and
cowardly of all others. It was my unhappy lot not only to belong to a religious
slaveholder, but to live in -a community of such religionists. Very near Mr.
Freeland lived the Rev. Daniel Weeden, and in the same neighbourhood lived the
Rev. Rigby Hopkins. These were members and ministers in the Reformed Methodist
Church. Mr. Weeden owned, among others', a woman slave, whose name I have
forgotten. This woman's back, for weeks, was kept literally raw, made so by the
lash of this merciless, religious wretch. He used to hire hands his maxim was
behave well or behave ill, it is the
duty of a master occasionally to whip a slave, to remind him of his master's
authority. Such was his theory, and such his practice.
Mr. Hopkins was even
worse than Mr. Weeden. His chief boast was his ability to manage slaves. The
peculiar feature of his government was that of whipping slaves in advance of
deserving it. He always managed to have one or more of his slaves to whip every
Monday morning. He did this to alarm their fears, and strike terror into those
who escaped. His plan was to whip for
the smallest offences, to prevent the commission of large ones. Mr. Hopkins
could always find some excuse for whipping a slave. It would astonish one,
unaccustomed to a slaveholding life, to see with what wonderful ease a
slaveholder can find things, of which to make occasion to whip a
slave.
A mere look, word, or
motion, a mistake, accident, or want of power, are all matters for which a slave
may be whipped at any time. Does a slave look dissatisfied ? It is said he has
the devil in him, and it must be whipped out. Does he speak loudly when spoken
to by his master ? Then he is getting high-minded, and should be taken down a
button-hole lower. Does he forget to pull off
his hat at the approach of a white person ? Then he is wanting in reverence, and
should be whipped for it. Does he ever venture to vindicate his conduct, when
censured for it ? Then he is guilty of impudence, one of the greatest crimes of
which a slave can be guilty. Does he ever venture to suggest a different mode of
doing things from that pointed out by his master ? He is indeed presumptuous,
and getting above himself ; and nothing less than' a flogging will do for him.
Does he, while ploughing, break a plough or, while hoeing, break a hoe ? It is
owing to his carelessness, and for it a slave must always be whipped.
Mr. Hopkins could
always find something of this sort to justify the use of the lash, and he seldom
failed to embrace such opportunities. There was not a man in the whole country,
with whom the slaves who had the getting their own home would not prefer to
live, rather than with this Rev. Mr. Hopkins. And yet there was not a man any
where round who made higher
professions of
religion, or was more active in revivals, more attentive to the class,
love-feast, prayer, and preaching meetings, or more devotional in his family,
who prayed earlier, later, louder, and longer, than this same reverend
slave-driver, Rigby Hopkins. But to return to Mr. Freeland, and to my experience
while in his employment. He, like Mr. Covey, gave us enough to eat ; but, unlike
Mr. Covey, he also gave us sufficient time to take our meals. He worked us hard
; but always between sunrise and sunset. He required a good deal of work to be
done ; but gave us good tools with which to work. His farm was large ; but he
employed hands enough to work it, and with ease, compared with many of his
neighbours. My treatment, while in his employment, was heavenly, compared with
what I experienced at the hands of Mr. Edward Covey.
Mr. Freeland was
himself the owner of but two slaves. Their names were Henry Harris and John
Harris. The rest of his hands he hired. These consisted of myself, Sandy
Jenkins,* and Handy Caldwell. * This was the same man who gave me the roots to
prevent Henry and John were quite intelligent, and in a very little while after
I went there, I succeeded in creating
in them a strong
desire to learn how to read. This desire soon sprang up in the others also. They
very soon mustered up some old spelling books, and nothing would do but that I
must keep a Sabbath school. I agreed to do so, and accordingly devoted my
Sundays to teaching these my loved fellow- slaves how to read. Neither of them
knew his letters when I went there.
Some of the slaves of
the neighbouring farms found what was going on, and also availed themselves of
this little opportunity to learn to read. It was understood, among all who came,
that there must be as little display about it. as possible. It was necessary to
keep our religious masters at St. Michael's unacquainted with the fact, that,
instead of spending the Sabbath in
wrestling, boxing,
and drinking whiskey, we were trying to learn how to read the will of God ; for
they had much rather see us engaged in those degrading sports, than see us
behaving like intellectual, moral, and accountable beings. My blood boils as I
think of the bloody manner in which Messrs. Wright Fairbanks and Garrison West,
both class-leaders, in connection
with many others,
rushed in upon us with sticks and stones, and broke up our virtuous little
Sabbath- school at St. Michael's all calling themselves Christians ! humble
followers of the Lord Jesus Christ ! But I am. again
digressing.
I held my
Sabbath-school at the house of a free colored man, whose name I deem it
imprudent to mention ; for should it be known, it might embarrass him greatly,
though the crime of holding the school was committed ten years ago. I had at one
time over forty scholars, and those of the right sort, ardently desiring to
learn. They were of all ages, though mostly men
and women. I look
back to those Sundays with an amount of pleasure not to be expressed. They were
great days to my soul. The work of instructing my dear fellow- slaves was the
sweetest engagement with which I was ever blessed. We loved each other, and to
leave them at the close of the Sabbath was a severe cross indeed. When I think
that these precious souls are to-day shut up in the prison-house of slavery, my
feelings overcome me, and I am almost ready to ask, (i Does a righteous God
govern the universe 1 and for what does he hold the thunders in his right hand,
if not to smite the oppressor, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the
spoiler ?"
These dear souls came
not to Sabbath-school because it was popular to do so, nor did I teach them
because it was reputable to be thus engaged. Every moment they spent in
that
school, they were
liable to be taken up and given thirty-nine lashes. They came because they
wished to learn. Their minds had been starved by their cruel masters. They had
been shut up in mental darkness. I taught them, because it was the delight of my
soul to be doing something that looked like bettering the condition of my race.
I kept up my school nearly the whole year I lived
with Mr. Freeland ; and, beside my Sabbath-school, I devoted three evenings in
the week, during the winter, to teaching the slaves at home. And I have the
happiness to know, that several of those who came to the Sabbath- school learned
how to read ; and that one, at least, is now free through my
agency.
The year passed off
smoothly. It seemed only about half as long as the year which preceded it. I
went through it without receiving a single blow. I will give Mr. Freeland the
credit of being the best master I ever had, till I became my own master. For the
ease with which I passed the year, I was, however, somewhat indebted to the
society of my fellow-slaves. They were noble souls ; they not only possessed
loving hearts, but brave ones. We were linked and interlinked with each other. I
loved them with a love stronger than any thing I have experienced since. It is
sometimes said that we slaves do not love and confide in each other. In answer
to this assertion, I can say, I never loved any or confided in any people more
than my fellow-slaves, and especially those with whom I lived at Mr. Freeland's.
I believe we would have died for each other. We never undertook to do any thing
of any importance, without a mutual consultation. We never moved separately. We
were one ; and as much so by our tempers and dispositions, as by the mutual
hardships to which we were necessarily subjected by our condition as
slaves.
At the close of the
year 1834, Mr. Freeland again hired me of my master, for the year 1835. But, by
this time, I began to want to live upon free land, as well as with Freeland; and
I was no longer content, therefore, to live with him or any other
slaveholder. I began, with the commencement of the year, to prepare myself for a
final struggle, which should decide my fate one way or the other. My tendency
was upward. I was fast approaching manhood, and year after year had passed, and
I was still a slave. These thoughts roused me I must do something. I therefore
resolved that 1835 should not pass without witnessing an attempt on my part to
secure my liberty. But I was not willing to cherish this determination alone. My
fellow-slaves were dear to me. I was anxious to have them participate with me in
this, my life-giving determination. I therefore, though with great prudence,
commenced early to ascertain their views and feelings in regard to their
condition, and to imbue their minds with thoughts of freedom. I bent myself to
devising ways and means for our escape, and meanwhile strove, on all fitting
occasions, to impress them with the gross fraud and inhumanity of slavery.
I went first to
Henry, next to John, then to the others. I found, in them all, warm hearts and
noble spirits. They were ready to hear, and ready to act when a feasible plan
should be proposed. This was what I wanted. I talked to them of our want of
manhood, if we submitted to our enslavement without at least one noble effort to
be free. We met often, and consulted frequently, and told our hopes and fears,
recounted the difficulties, real and imagined, which we should be called on to
meet. At times we were almost disposed to give up, and try to content ourselves
with our wretched lot ; at others, we were firm and unbending in our
determination to go. Whenever we suggested any plan, there was shrinking the
odds were fearful. Our path was beset with the greatest obstacles ; and if we
succeeded in gaining the end of it, our right to be free was yet questionable we
were yet liable to be returned to bondage.
We could see no spot,
this side of the ocean where we could be free. We knew nothing about Canada. Our
knowledge of the north did not extend farther than New York ; and to go there,
and be forever harassed with the frightful liability of being returned to
slavery with the certainty of being treated tenfold worse than before the
thought was truly a horrible one, and
one which it was not
easy to overcome. The case sometimes stood thus : At every gate through which we
were to pass, we saw a watchman at every ferry, a guard on every bridge, a
sentinel and in every wood, a patrol. We were hemmed in upon every side. Here
were the difficulties, real or imagined the good to be sought, and the evil to
be shunned. On the one hand, there stood slavery, a stein reality, glaring
frightfully upon us, its robes already crimsoned with the blood of millions, and
even now feasting itself greedily upon our own flesh. On
the
other hand, away back
in the dim distance, under the flickering light of the north star, behind some
craggy hill or snow-covered mountain, stood a doubtful freedom half frozen
beckoning us to come and share its hospitality.
This, in itself, was
sometimes enough to stagger us ; but when we permitted ourselves to survey the
road, we were frequently appalled. Upon either side we saw grim death, assuming
the most horrid shapes. Now it was starvation, causing us to eat our own flesh ;
now we were contending with the waves, and were drowned ; now we were overtaken,
and torn to pieces by the fangs of the terrible bloodhound. We were stung by
scorpions, chased by wild beasts, bitten by snakes, and finally, after having
nearly reached the desired spot, after swimming rivers, encountering wild
beasts, sleeping in the woods, suffering hunger and nakedness, we were overtaken
by our pursuers, and, in our resistance, we were shot dead upon the spot ! I
say, this picture sometimes appalled us, and made us " rather bear those ills we
had, Than fly to others that we knew not of." In coming to a fixed determination
to run away, we did more than Patrick
Henry, when he resolved upon liberty or death. With us it was a doubtful liberty
at most, and almost certain death if we failed. For my part, I should prefer
death to hopeless bondage. Sandy, one of our number, gave up the notion, but
still encouraged us. Our company then consisted of Henry Harris, John Harris,
Henry Bailey, Charles Roberts, and myself. Henry Bailey was my uncle, and
belonged to my master. Charles married my aunt : he belonged to my master's
father-in-law, Mr. William Hamilton.
The plan we finally
concluded upon was, to get a large canoe belonging to Mr. Hamilton, and upon the
Saturday night previous to Easter holidays, paddle directly up the Chesapeake
Bay. On our arrival at the head of the bay, a distance of seventy or eighty
miles from where we lived, it was our purpose to turn our canoe adrift, and
follow the guidance of the north star
till we got beyond
the limits of Maryland. Our reason for taking the water route was, that we were
less liable to be suspected as runaways ; we hoped to be regarded as fishermen ;
whereas, if we should take the land route, we should be subject to interruptions
of almost every kind. Any one having a white face, and being so disposed, could
stop us, and subject us to examination. The week before our intended start, I
wrote several protections, one for each of us. As well as I can remember, they
were in the following words :
" This is to certify
that I, the undersigned, have given the bearer, my servant, full liberty to go
to Baltimore, and spend the Easter holidays. Written with mine own hand,
&c., 1833.
WILLIAM HAMILTON, ''
Year St. Michael's, in Talbot County, Maryland/'
We were not going to
Baltimore ; but, in going up the bay, we went toward Baltimore, and these
protections were only intended to protect us while on the bay. As the time drew
near for our departure, our anxiety became more and more intense. It was truly a
matter of life and death with us. The strength of our determination was about to
be fully tested. At this time I was very active in
explaining every difficulty, removing every doubt, dispelling every fear, and
inspiring all with the firmness indispensable to success in our undertaking ;
assuring them that half was gained, the instant \ve made the move ; we had
talked long enough ; we were now ready to move ; if not now, we never should be
; and if we did not intend to move now, we had as well fold our arms, sit down,
and acknowledge ourselves fit only
to be slaves. This, none of us were prepared to acknowledge. Every man stood
firm ; and at our last meeting, we pledged ourselves afresh, and in the most
solemn manner, that, at the time appointed, we would certainly start in pursuit
of freedom.
This was in the
middle of the week, at the end of which we were to be off. We went, as usual, to
our several fields of labour, but with bosoms highly agitated with thoughts of
our truly hazardous under- taking. We tried to conceal our feelings as much as
possible ; and I think we succeeded very well. After a painful waiting, the
Saturday morning, whose night was to witness our departure, came. I hailed it
with joy, bring what of sadness it might. Friday night was a sleepless one for
me. I probably felt more anxious than the rest, because I was, by common
consent, at the head of the whole affair. The responsibility of success or
failure lay heavily upon me. The glory of the one, and the confusion of the
other, were alike mine. The first two hours of that morning were such as I never
experienced before, and hope never to experience again. Early in the morning we
went, as usual, to the field. We were spreading the manure ; and all at once,
while thus engaged, I was overwhelmed with an indescribable feeling, in the
fulness of which I turned to Sandy, who was near by, and said, " We are
betrayed!"
"Well," said he, "
that thought has this moment struck me." We said no more. I was never more
certain of any thing.
The horn was blown as
usual, and we went up from the field to the house for breakfast. I went for the
form, more than for want of any thing to eat that morning. Just as I got to the
house, in looking out at the lane gate, I saw four white men, with two colored
men. The white men were on horseback, and the' colored ones were walking behind,
as if tied. I watched them a few moments till they got up to our lane gate. Here
they halted, and tied the colored men to the gatepost. I was not yet certain as
to what the matter was. In a few moments, in 'rode Mr. Hamilton, with a speed
betokening great excitement. He came to the door, and inquired if Master William
was in. He was told he was in the barn. Mr. Hamilton, without dismounting, rode
up to the barn with extraordinary speed. In a few moments he and Mr. Freeland
returned to the house. By this time the three constables rode up, and in great
haste dismounted, tied their horses, and met Mr.
William and Mr. Hamilton return- ing from the barn ; and after talking awhile,
they all walked up to the kitchen door. There was no one in the kitchen but
myself and John. Henry and Sandy were up at the barn. Mr. Freeland put his head
in at the door, and called me by my name, saying there were some gentlemen at
the door who wished to see me, I stepped to the
door, and inquired what they wanted. They at once seized me, and without giving
me any satisfaction, tied me lashing my hands closely together. I insisted upon
knowing what the matter was. They at length said, that they had learned I had
been in a "scrape," and that I was to be examined before my master ; and if
their information proved false, I should not be hurt.
In a few moments,
they succeeded in tying John. They then turned to Henry, who had by this time
returned, and commanded him to cross his hands. " I won't !" said Henry, in a
firm tone, indicating his readiness to meet the consequences of his refusal. "
Won't you ?" said Tom Graham, the constable. "No, I won't !" said Henry, in a
still stronger tone. With this, two of the constables pulled out their shining
pistols, and swore by their Creator, that they would make him cross his hands,
or kill him. Each cocked his pistol, and, with fingers on the triger, walked up
to Henry, saying, at the same time, if he did not cross his hands, they would
blow his damned heart out. " Shoot me, shoot me! "said Henry ;"you can kill me
but once. Shoot, shoot, and be d__ d ! I won't be tied !" This he said in a tone
of loud defiance ; and at the same time, with a motion as quick as lightning, he
with one single stroke dashed the pistols from the hand of each constable. As he
did this, all hands fell upon him, and, after beating him some time, they
finally overpowered him, and got him tied.
During the scuffle, I
managed, I know not how, to get my pass out, and, without being discovered, put
it into the fire. We were all now tied ; and just as we were to leave for Easton
jail, Betsy Freeland, mother of William Freeland, came to the door with her
hands full of biscuits, and divided them between Henry and John. She then
delivered herself of a speech, to the
following effect :
addressing herself to me, she said, " You devil ! You yellow devil ! it was you
that put it into the heads of Henry and John to run away. But for you, you
long-legged mulatto devil ! Henry nor John would never have thought of such a
thing." I made no reply, and was immediately hurried off towards St. Michael's.
Just a moment previous to the scuffle with Henry,
Mr. Hamilton suggested the propriety of making a search for the protections,
which he had understood Frederick had written for himself and the rest. But just
at the moment he was about carrying his proposal into effect, his aid was needed
in helping to tie Henry ; and the excitement attending the scuffle caused them
either to forget, or to deem it unsafe under the circumstances, to search. So we
were not yet convicted of the intention to run away.
When we got about
half way to St. Michael's, while the constables having us in charge were looking
ahead, Henry inquired of me what he should do with his pass. I told him to eat
it with his biscuit, and own nothing ; and we passed the word around, " Own
nothing /" and " Own nothing /" said we all. Our confidence in each other was
unshaken. We were resolved to succeed or fail together, after the calamity had
befallen us, as much as before. We were now prepared for any thing. We were to
be dragged that morning fifteen miles behind horses, and then to be placed in
the Easton jail. When we reached St. Michael's, we underwent a sort of
examination. We all denied that we even intended to run away. We did this more
to bring out the evidence against us, than from any hope of getting clear of
being sold ; for, as I have said, we were ready for that. The fact was, we cared
but little where we went, so we went together. Our greatest concern was about
separation. We dreaded that more than any thing this side of death. We found the
evidence against us to be the testimony of one person ; our master would not tell
who it was ; but we came to a unanimous decision among ourselves as to who their
informant was. We were sent off to the jail at Easton. When we got there, we
were delivered up to the sheriff, Mr. Joseph Graham, and by him placed in jail.
Henry, John, and myself were placed in one room together ; Charles and Henry
Bailey in another. Their object in separating us was to hinder
concert.
We had been in jail
scarcely twenty minutes, when a swarm of slave traders, and agents for slave
traders, flocked into jail to look at us, and to ascertain if we were for sale.
Such a set of beings I never saw before ! I felt myself surrounded by so many
fiends from perdition. A band of pirates never looked more like their father,
the devil. They laughed and grinned over us, saying, "Ah, my boys ! we have got
you, haven't we?" And after taunting us in various ways, they one by one went
into an examination of us, with intent to ascertain our value. They would
impudently ask us if we would not like to have them for our masters. We would
make them no answer, and leave them to find out as best they could. Then they
would curse and swear at us, telling us that they could take the devil out of us
in a very little while, if we were
only in their hands.
While in jail, we
found ourselves in much more comfortable quarters than we expected when we went
there. We did not get much to eat, nor that which was very good ; but we had a
good clean room, from, the windows of which we could see what was going on. in
the street, which was very much better than if we had been placed in one of the
dark damp cells. Upon the whole, we
got along very well, so far as the jail and its keeper were concerned.
Immediately after the hollidays were over, contrary to all our expectations, Mr.
Hamilton and Mr. Freeland came up to Easton, and took Charles, the two Henrys,
and John out of jail, and carried them home, leaving me alone. I regarded this
separation as a final one. It caused me more pain than any thing else in the
whole transaction.
I was ready for any
thing rather than separation. I suppose that they had consulted together, and
had decided that as I was the whole cause of the intention of the others to run
away, it was hard to make the innocent surfer with the guilty ; and that they
had therefore concluded to take the others home, and sell me as a warning to the
others that remained, It is due to the noble Henry to say, he seemed almost as
reluctant at leaving the prison, as at leaving home to come to the prison. But
we knew we should, in ail probability, be separated if we were sold ; and since
he was in their hands, he concluded to go peaceably
home.
I was now left to my
fate. I was all alone, and within the walls of a stone prison. But a few days
before, and I was full of hope. I expected to have been safe in a land of
freedom ; but now I was covered with gloom, sunk down to the utmost despair. I
thought the possibility of freedom was gone. I was kept in this way about one
week, at the end of which Captain Auld, my master, to my surprise and utter
astonishment, came up and took me out, with the intention of sending me, with a
gentleman of his acquaintance, into Alabama. But, from some cause or other, he
did not send me to Alabama, but concluded to send me back to Baltimore, to live
again with his brother Hugh, and to learn a trade. Thus, after an absence of
three years and one
month, I was once
more permitted to return to my old home at Baltimore. My master sent me away,
because there existed against me a very great prejudice in the community, and he
feared I might be kilted.
In a few weeks after
I went to Baltimore, Master Hugh hired me to Mr. William Gardner, an extensive
ship-builder, on Fell's Point. I was put there to learn how to caulk. It,
however, proved a very unfavorable place for the accomplishment of this object.
Mr. Gardner was engaged that spring in building two large man-of-war brigs,
professedly for the Mexican government.
The vessels were to
be launched in the July of that year, and in failure thereof, Mr. Gardner was to
lose a considerable sum ; so that when I entered, all was hurry. There was no
time to learn any thing. Every man had to do that which he knew how to do. In
entering the ship-yard, my orders from Mr. Gardner were, to do whatever the
carpenters commanded me to do. This was placing me at the beck and call of about
seventy-five men. I was to regard all these as masters. Their word was to be my
law. My situation was a most trying one. At times I needed a dozen pair of
hands. I was called a dozen ways in the space of a single minute. Three or four
voices would strike my ear at the same moment.
It was "Fred, come
help me to cant this timber here."
"Fred, come carry
this timber yonder."
"Fred, bring that
roller here."
"Fred, go get a fresh
can of water."
"Fred, come help saw
off the end of this timber."
"Fred, go quick, and
get the crowbar."
"Fred, hold on the
end of this fall."
"Fred, go to the
blacksmith's shop, and get a new punch."
"Hurra, Fred, run and
bring me a cold chisel."
" I say, Fred, bear a
hand, and get up a fire as quick as lightning under that steam-box."
"Halloo, nigger !
come, turn this grindstone."
"Come, come ! move,
move ! and bowse this timber forward."
" I say, darky, blast
your eyes, why don't you heat up some pitch ?"
" Halloo ! halloo !
halloo !" (Three voices at the same time.)
" Come here ! Go
there ! Hold on where you are. D__ n you, if you move, I'll knock your brains
out !"
This was my school
for eight months ; and I might have remained there longer, but for a most horrid
fight I had with four of the white apprentices, in which my left eye was nearly
knocked out, and I was horribly mangled in other respects. The facts in the case
these. Until a very little while after I went there, white and black
ship-carpenters worked side by side, and no one seemed to see any impropriety in
it. All hands seemed to be very well satisfied. Many of the black carpenters
were freemen. Things seemed to be going on very well. All at once, the white
carpenters knocked off, and said they would not work with free colored workmen.
Their reason for this, as alleged, was, that if free colored carpenters were
encouraged, they would soon take the trade into their own hands, and poor white
men would be thrown out of employment. They therefore felt called upon at once
to put a stop to it. And taking advantage of Mr. Gardner's necessities, they
broke off, swearing they would work no longer, unless he would discharge his
black carpenters. Now, though this did not extend to me in form, it did reach me
in fact. My fellow-apprentices very soon began to feel it degrading to them to
work with me. They began to put on airs, and talk about the "niggers" taking the
country, saying we all ought to be killed ; and being encouraged by the
journeymen, they commenced making my condition as hard as they could, by
hectoring me around, and sometimes striking me. I, of course, kept the vow I
made after the fight with Mr. Covey, and struck back again, regardless of
consequences : and while I kept them from combining. I succeeded very well ; for
I could whip the whole of them, taking them separately. They, however, at length
combined, and came upon me, armed with sticks, stones, and heavy handspikes. One
came in front with a half brick. There was one at each side of me, and one
behind me, While I was attending to those in front, and on either side, the one
behind ran up with a handspike, and struck me a heavy blow upon the head. It
stunned me. I fell, and with this they all ran upon me, and fell to beating me
with their fists. I let them lay on for a while, gathering strength. In an
instant, I gave a sudden surge, and rose to my hands and knees. Just as I did
that, one of their number gave me, with his heavy boot, a powerful kick in the
left eye. My eyeball seemed to have burst. When they saw my eye
closed, and badly swollen, they left me. With this I seized the handspike, and
for a time pursued them. But here the carpenters interfered, and I thought I
might as well give it up. It was impossible to stand my hand against so
many.
All this took place
in sight of not less than fifty white ship- carpenters, and not one interposed a
friendly word ; but some cried, "Kill the d__d nigger ! Kill him ! kill him! He
struck a white person." I found my only chance for life was in flight. I
succeeded in getting away without an additional blow, and barely so ; for to
strike a white man is death by Lynch-law, and that was the law in Mr. Gardner's
ship-yard ; nor is there much of any other out of Mr. Gardner's shipyard, within
the bounds of the Slave States.
I went directly home,
and told the story of my wrongs to Master Hugh ; and I am happy to say of him,
irreligious as he was, his conduct was heavenly, compared with that of his
brother Thomas under similar circumstances. He listened attentively to my
narration of the circumstances leading to the savage outrage, and gave many
proofs of his strong indignation at it.
The heart of my once
over-kind mistress was again melted into pity. My puffed-out eye and blood-
covered face moved her to tears. She took a chair by me, washed the blood from
my face, and, with a mother's tenderness, bound up my head, covering the wounded
eye with a lean piece of fresh beef. It was almost compensation for my
sufferings to witness, once more, a manifestation of kindness from this my once
affectionate old mistress. Master Hugh was very much enraged. He gave expression
to his feelings by pouring out curses upon the heads of those who did the deed.
As soon as I got a little the better of my bruises, he took me with him to
Esquire Watson's, in Bond- street, to see what could be done about the matter.
Mr. Watson inquired
who saw the assault committed. Master Hugh told him it was done in Mr. Gardner's
ship-yard, at mid- day, where there was a large company of men at work.
"As to that," he
said, " the deed was done, and there was no question as to who did it." His
answer was, he could do nothing in the case, unless some white man would come
forward and testify. He could issue no warrant on my word. If I had been killed
in the presence of a thousand colored people, their testimony combined would
have been insufficient to have arrested one of the murderers. Master Hugh, for
once, was compelled to say this state of things was too bad. Of course, it was
impossible to get any white man to volunteer his testimony in my behalf, and
against the white young men. Even those who may have sympathised with me were
not prepared to do this. It required a degree of courage unknown to them to
do
so ; for just at that
time, the slightest manifestation of humanity towards a colored person was
denounced as abolitionism, and that name subjected its bearer to frightful
liabilities. The watchwords of the bloody minded in that region, and in those
days, were, "D__ n the abolitionists ! " and "D__ n the niggers !" There was
nothing done, and probably nothing would have been done if I had been killed.
Such was, and such remains the state of things in the Christian city of
Baltimore.
Master Hugh, finding
he could get no redress, refused to let me go back again to Mr. Gardner. He kept
me himself, and his wife dressed my wound till I was again restored to health.
He then took me into the ship-yard of which he was foreman, in the employment of
Mr. Walter Price. There I was immediately set to caulking, and very soon learned
the art of using my mallet and irons. In the course of one year from the time I
left Mr. Gardner's, I was able to command the highest wages given to the most
experienced caulkers.
1 was now of some
importance to my master. I was bringing him from six to seven dollars per week.
I sometimes brought him nine dollars per week : my wages were a dollar and a
half a day. After learning how to caulk, I sought my own employment, made my own
contracts, and collected the money which I earned. My pathway became much more
smooth than before ; my condition was now much more comfortable. When I could
get no caulking to do, I did nothing. During these leisure times, those old
notions about freedom would steal over me again. When in Mr. Gardner's
employment, I was kept in such a perpetual whirl of excitement, I could think of
nothing scarcely, but my life ; and in thinking of my life, I almost forgot my
liberty. I have observed this in my experience of slavery. that whenever my
condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only
increased my desire to be free, and set me to
thinking of plans' to
gain my freedom. I have found that, to make a contented slave, it is necessary
to make a thoughtless one. It is necessary to darken his moral and mental
vision, and, as far as possible, to annihilate the power of reason. He must be
able to detect no inconsistencies in slavery ; he must be made to feel that
slavery is right ; and he can be brought to that only when he ceases to be a
man.
I was now getting, as
1 have said, one dollar and fifty cents per day. I contracted for it ; I earned
it ; it was paid to me ; it was rightfully my own ; yet, upon each returning
Saturday night, I was compelled to deliver every cent of that money to Master
Hugh. And why 1 Not because he earned it, not because he had any hand in earning
it, not because I owed it to him, nor because he possessed the slightest shadow
of a right to it ; but solely because he had the power to compel me to give it
up. The right of the grim-visaged pirate upon the high seas is exactly the same.
CHAPTER
XL
I NOW come to that
part of my life during which I planned and finally succeeded in making my escape
from slavery. But before narrating any of the peculiar circumstances, I deem it
proper to make known my intention not to state all the facts connected with the
transaction. My reasons for pursuing this course may be understood from the
following: First, were I to give a minute
statement of all the facts, it is not only possible, but quite probable, that
others would thereby be involved in the most embarrassing difficulties.
Secondly, such a statement would most undoubtedly induce greater vigilance on
the part of slaveholders, than has existed heretofore among them ; which would,
of course, be the means of guarding a door whereby some
dear brother bondman might escape his galling chains. I deeply regret the
necessity that impels me to suppress any thing of importance connected with my
experience in slavery. It would afford me great pleasure indeed, as well as
materially add to the interest of my narrative, were I at liberty to gratify a
curiosity, which I know exists in the minds of many, by an
accurate statement of all the facts pertaining to my most fortunate escape. But
I must deprive myself of this pleasure, and the curious of the gratification
which such a statement would afford. I would allow myself to suffer under the
greatest imputations which evil-minded men might suggest, rather than exculpate
myself, and thereby run the hazard of closing the
slightest avenue by which a brother slave might clear himself of the chains and
fetters of slavery.
I have never approved
of the publicity which some of the western abolitionists have given to their
system of assisting fugitives in their flight to Canada. They call it the
underground railroad; but by their open declarations it has ceased to be a
secret to any body. I honor those good men and women for their noble daring, and
applaud them for subjecting themselves to bloody persecution, by openly avowing
their participation in the escape of slaves. I, however, can see very little
good resulting from such a course, either to themselves or the slaves escaping ;
while, upon the other hand, I see and feel assured that those open declarations
are a positive evil to the slaves remaining, who are seeking to escape. They do
nothing towards enlightening the slave, whilst they do much towards enlightening
the master. They stimulate him to greater watchfulness, and enhance his power to
capture his slave.
We owe something to
the slaves south of the line as well as to those north of it ; and in aiding the
latter on their way to freedom, we should be careful to do nothing which would
be likely to hinder the former from escaping from slavery. I would keep the
merciless slaveholder profoundly ignorant of the means of flight adopted by the
slave. I would leave him to imagine
himself surrounded by
myriads of invisible tormentors, ever ready to snatch from his infernal grasp
his trembling prey. Let him be left to feel his way in the dark ; let darkness
commensurate with his crime hover over him ; and let him feel that at every step
he takes in pursuit of the flying bondsman, he is running the frightful risk of
having his hot brains dashed out by an invisible agency. Let us render the
tyrant no aid; let us not hold the light by which he can trace the footprints of
our flying brother. But enough of this. I will now proceed to the statement of
those facts, connected with my escape, for which I am alone responsible, and for
which no one can be made to suffer but myself.
In the early part of
the year 1838, I became quite restless. I could see no reason why I should, at
the end of each week, pour the reward of my toil into the purse of my master.
When I carried to him my weekly wages, he would, after counting the money, look
me in the face with a robber- like fierceness, and ask, " Is this all
?
'' He was satisfied
with nothing less than the last cent. He would, however, when I made him six
dollars, sometimes give me six cents, to encourage me. It had the opposite
effect. I regarded it as a sort of admission of my right to the whole. The fact
that he gave me any part of my wages was proof to my mind, that he believed me
entitled to the whole of them. I always felt worse for having received any
thing ; for I feared that the giving me a few cents would ease his conscience,
and make him feel himself to be a pretty honorable sort of robber. My discontent
grew upon me. I was ever on the look out for means of escape; and finding no
direct means, I determined to try to hire my time, with a view of getting money
with which to make my escape. In the spring of 1838, when Master Thomas came to
Baltimore to purchase his spring goods, I got an opportunity, and applied to him
to allow me to hire my time.
He unhesitatingly
refused my request, and told me this was another stratagem by which to escape.
He told me I could go nowhere but that he could get me ; and that in the event
of my running away, he should spare no pains in his efforts to catch me. He
exhorted me to content myself, and be obedient. He told me, if I would be happy,
I must lay out no plans for the
future. He said, if I
behaved myself properly, he would take care of me. Indeed he advised me to
complete thoughtlessness of the future, and taught me to depend solely upon him
for happiness. He seemed to see fully the pressing necessity of setting aside my
intellectual nature, in order to contentment in slavery. But in spite of him,
and even in spite of myself, I continued to think, and to think about the
injustice of my enslavement, and the means of escape.
About two months
after this, I applied to Master Hugh for the privilege of hiring my time. He was
not acquainted with the fact that I had applied to Master Thomas, and had been
refused. He, too, at first, seemed disposed to refuse ; but, after some
reflection he granted me the privilege, and proposed the following terms : I was
to be allowed all my time, make all contracts with those for whom I worked, and
find my own employment ; and, in return for this liberty, I was to pay him three
dollars at the end of each week, find myself in caulking tools, and in board and
clothing. My board was two dollars and a half per week. This, with the wear and
tear of clothing and caulking tools, made my regular expenses about six dollars
per week.
This amount I was
compelled to make up or relinquish the privilege of hiring my time. Rain or
shine, work or no work, at the end of each week the money must be forthcoming,
or I must give up my privilege. This arrangement it will be perceived, was
decidedly in my master's favour. It relieved him of all need of looking after
me. His money was sure. He received all the benefits of slaveholding without its
evils ; while I endured all the evils of a slave, and suffered all the care and
anxiety of a freeman. I found it a hard bargain. But hard as it was, I thought
it better than the old mode of getting along. It was a step towards freedom, to
be allowed to bear the responsibilities of a freeman, and I was determined to
hold on upon it. I bent myself to the work of making money. I was ready to work
at night as well as day, and by the most untiring perseverance and industry, I
made enough to meet my expenses, and lay up a little money every week. I went on
thus from May till August. Master Hugh then refused to allow me to hire my time
longer.
The ground for his
refusal was a failure on my part, one Saturday night, to pay him for my week's
time. This failure was occasioned by my attending a camp meeting about ten miles
from Baltimore. During the week, I had entered into an engagement with a number
of young friend:?, to start from Baltimore to the camp ground early on the
Saturday evening ; and being detained by my employer, I was unable to go down to
Master Hugh's, without disappointing the company. I knew that Master Hugh was in
no special need of the money that night. I therefore decided to go to camp
meeting, and upon my return to pay him the three dollars. I staid at the camp
meeting one day longer than I intended when I left. But as soon as I returned, I
called upon him to pay him what he considered his due. I found him very angry ;
he could scarce restrain his wrath. He said he had a great mind to give me a
severe whipping. He wished to know how I dared go out of the city without asking
his permission. I told him I hired my time, and while I paid him the price which
he asked for it, I did not know that I was bound to ask him when and where I
should go. This reply troubled him; and, after reflecting a few moments, he
turned to me, and said I should hire my time no longer ; the next thing he
should know of, I would be running away.
Upon the same plea,
he told me to bring my tools and clothing home forthwith. T did so; but instead
of seeking work, as I had been accustomed to do previously to hiring my time, I
spent the whole week without the performance of a single stroke of work. I did
this in retaliation. Saturday night, he called upon me as usual for my week's
wages. I told him I had no wages ; I had done no work that week. Here we were
upon the point of coming to blows. He raved, and swore his determination to get
hold of me. I did not allow myself a single word ; but
was
resolved, if he laid
the weight of his hand upon me, it should be blow for blow. He did not strike
me, but told me that he would find me in constant employment in future. I
thought the matter over during the next day, Sunday, and finally resolved upon
the third day of September, as the day upon which I would make a second attempt
to secure my freedom.
I now had three weeks
during which to prepare for my journey. Early on Monday morning, before Master
Hugh had time to make any engagement for me. I went out and got employment of
Mr. Butler, at his ship-yard, near the drawbridge, upon what is called the City
Block, thus making it unnecessary for him to seek employment for me. At the end
of the week, I brought him between eight and nine dollars. He seemed very well
pleased, and asked me why I did not do the same the week before. He little
knew what my plans were. My object in working steadily was to remove any
suspicion he might entertain of my intent to run away ; and in this I succeeded
admirably. I suppose he thought I was never better satisfied with my condition,
than at the very time during which I was planning my escape. The second week
passed, and again I carried him my full wages; and so well pleased was he, that
he gave me twenty-five cents, (quite a large sum for a slaveholder to give a
slave,) and bade me to make good use of it. I told him I
would.
Things went on
without very smoothly indeed, but within there was trouble. It is impossible for me to describe my
feelings as the time of my contemplated start drew near. I had a number of
warm-hearted friends in Baltimore, friends that I loved almost as I did my life,
and the thought of being separated from them for ever was painful beyond
expression. It is my opinion that thousands would escape from slavery, who now
remain, but for the strong cords of affection that bind them to their friends.
The thought of leaving my friends was decidedly the most painful thought with
which I had to contend. The love of them was my tender point, and shook my
decision more than all things else. Besides the pain of separation, the dread
and apprehension of a
failure exceeded what I had experienced at my first attempt. The appalling
defeat I then sustained returned to torment me. I felt assured that if I failed
in this attempt, my case would be a hopeless one it would seal my fate as a
slave for ever. I could not hope to get off with any thing less than the
severest punishment, and being placed beyond the means of escape. It required no
very vivid imagination to depict the most frightful scenes through which I
should have to pass, in case I failed.
The wretchedness of
slavery and the blessedness of freedom were perpetually before me. It was life
and death to me. But I remained firm, and according to my resolution, on the
third day of September, 1838, I left my chains, and succeeded in reaching New
York without the slightest interruption of any kind. How I did so, what means I
adopted, in what direction I travelled, and by what mode of conveyance, I must
leave unexplained, for the reasons before mentioned.
I have been
frequently asked how I felt when I found myself in a Free State. I have never
been able to answer the question with any satisfaction to myself. It was a
moment of the highest excitement I ever experienced. I suppose I felt as one may
imagine the unarmed mariner to feel, when he is rescued by a friendly man-of-war
from the pursuit of a pirate. In writing to a dear friend, immediately after my
arrival at New York, I said I felt
like one who ha^ escaped a den of hungry lions. This state of mind, however,
very soon subsided ; and I was
again seized with a feeling of great insecurity and loneliness. I was yet liable
to be taken back, and subjected to all the tortures of slavery. This in itself
was enough to damp the ardor of my enthusiasm. But the loneliness overcame me.
There I was in the
midst of thousands, and yet a perfect stranger ; without home and without
friends, in the midst of thousands of my own brethren children of a common
Father, and yet I dared not unfold to any one of them my sad condition. I was
afraid to speak to any one, for fear of speaking to the wrong one, and thereby
falling into the hands of money-loving kidnappers, whose business it was to lie
in wait for the panting fugitive, as the ferocious beasts of the forest lie in
wait for their prey. The motto which I adopted when I started from' slavery was
this " Trust no man !" I saw in every white man an enemy, and in almost every
colored man cause for distrust. It was a moat painful situation ; and, to
understand it, one must needs experience it, or imagine himself in similar
circumstances.
Let him be a fugitive
slave in a strange land a land given up to be the hunting-ground for
slave-holders whose inhabitants are legalized kidnappers where he is every
moment subjected to the terrible liability of being seized upon by his
fellowmen, as the hideous crocodile seizes upon his prey! I say, let him place
himself in my situation without home or friends without money or credit wanting
shelter, and no one to give it wanting bread, and no money to buy it, and at the
same time let him feel that he is pursued by merciless men-hunters, and in
total darkness as to
what to do, where to go, or where to stay, perfectly helpless both as to the
means of defence and means of escape, in the midst of plenty, yet suffering the
terrible gnawings of hunger, in the midst of houses, yet having no home, among
fellow -men, yet feeling as if in the midst of wild beasts, whose greediness to
swallow up the trembling and half-famished fugitive is only equalled by that
with which the monsters of the deep swallow up the helpless fish upon which they
subsist, I say, let him be placed in this most trying situation, the situation
in which I was placed, then, and not till then, will he fully appreciate the
hardships of, and know how to sympathise with the toil-worn and whip-scarred
fugitive slave.
Thank Heaven, I
remained but a short time in this * distressed situation. I was relieved from it
by the humane hand of Mr. DAVID RUGGLES, whose vigilance, kindness, and
perseverance I shall never- forget. I am glad of an opportunity to express, as
far as words can, the love and gratitude I bear him. Mr. Ruggles is now
afflicted with blindness, and is himself in need of
the same kind offices
which he was once so forward in the performance of towards others. I had been in
New York but a few days, when Mr. Ruggles sought me out, and very kindly took me
to his boarding-house at the corner of Church and Lespenard Streets. Mr. Ruggles
was then very deeply engaged in the memorable Darg case, as well as attending to
a number of other fugitive slaves, devising ways and means for their successful
escape ; and though watched and hemmed in on almost every side, he seemed to be
more than a match for his enemies.
Very soon after I
went to Mr. Ruggles, he wished to know of me where I wanted to go ; as he deemed
it unsafe for me to remain in New York. I told him I was a caulker, and should
like to go where I could get work. I thought of going to Canada ; but he decided
against it, and in favor of my going to New Bedford, thinking I should be able
to get work there at my trade. At this time, Anna,* my intended wife, came on ;
for I wrote to her immediately after my arrival at New York, (notwithstanding my
homeless, houseless and helpless condition,) informing her of my successful
flight, and wishing her to come on forthwith. In a few days after her arrival,
Mr. Ruggles called in the Rev. J. W. C. Pennington, who, in the presence of Mr.
Ruggles, Mrs. Michaels, and two or three others, performed the marriage
ceremony, and gave us a certificate, of which the following is an exact copy
:
" This may certify,
that I joined together in holy matrimony Frederick Johnson and Anna Murray, as
man and wife, in the presence of Mr. David Ruggles and Mrs.
Michaels.
' JAMES W. C.
PENNINGTON."
"New York, Sept. 15,
1838."
Upon receiving the
certificate, and a five- dollar bill from Mr. Ruggles, I shouldered one part of
our baggage, and Anna took up the other, and we set out forthwith to take
passage on board of the steamboat John W. Richmond, for Newport, on our way to
New Bedford. Mr. Ruggles gave me a letter to a Mr. Shaw . She was
free.
I had changed my name from Frederick
Bailey to that of Johnson in Newport, and told me, in case my money did not
serve me to New Bedford, to stop in Newport and obtain further assistance ; but
upon our arrival at Newport, we were so anxious to get to a place of safety,
that notwithstanding we lacked the necessary money to pay our fare, we decided
to take seats in the stage, and promise to pay when we got to New Bedford. We
were encouraged to do this by two excellent gentlemen, residents of New Bedford,
whose names I afterward
ascertained to be
Joseph Ricketson and William. C. Tabor. They seemed at once to understand our
circumstances, and gave us such assurance of their friendliness as put us fully
at ease in their presence. It was good indeed to meet with such friends, at such
a time. Upon reaching New Bedford, we were directed to the house of Mr. Nathan
Johnson, by whom we
were kindly received,
and hospitably provided for.
Both Mr. and Mrs.
Johnson took a deep and lively interest in our welfare. They proved themselves
quite worthy of the name of abolitionists. When the stage driver found us unable
to pay our fare, he held on upon our baggage as security for the debt. I had but
to mention the fact to Mr. Johnson, and he forthwith advanced the money. We now
began to feel a degree of safety, and to prepare ourselves for the duties and
responsibilities of a life of freedom. On the morning after our arrival at New
Bedford, while at the breakfast-table, the question arose as to what name I
should be called by. The name given me by my mother was, " Frederick Augustus
Washington Bailey." I, however, had dispensed with the two middle names long
before I left Maryland, so that I was generally known by the name of " Frederick
Bailey. " I started from Baltimore bearing the name of "Stanley." When I got to New York, I again changed
my name to " Frederick Johnson," and thought that would be the last change. But
when I got to New Bedford, I found it necessary again to change my name. The
reason of this necessity was, that there were so many Johnsons in New Bedford,
it was already quite difficult to distinguish between them. I gave Mr. Johnson
the privilege of choosing me a name, but told him he must not take from me the
name of " Frederick." I must hold on to that, to preserve a sense of my
identity. Mr. Johnson had just been reading the "Lady of the Lake/' and at once
suggested that my
name be "Douglass." From that time until now I have been called " Frederick
Douglass ;" and as I am more widely known by that name than by any of the
others, I shall continue to use it as my own.
I was quite
disappointed at the general appearance of things in New Bedford. The impression
which I had received respecting the character and condition of the people of the
north, I found to be singularly erroneous. 1 had very strangely supposed, while
in slavery, that few of the comforts, and scarcely any of the luxuries of life
were enjoyed at the north, compared
with what were
enjoyed by the slaveholders of the south. I probably came to this conclusion
from the fact that northern people owned no slaves. I supposed that they were
about upon a level with the non-slaveholding population of the south. I knew
they were exceedingly poor, and I had been accustomed to regard their poverty as
the necessary consequence of their
being
non-slaveholders. I had somehow imbibed the opinion that, in the absence of
slaves, there could be no wealth, and very little refinement. And upon coming to
the north, I expected to meet with a rough, hardhanded, and uncultivated
population, living in the most Spartan -like simplicity, knowing nothing of the
ease, luxury, pomp, and grandeur of southern slaveholders. Such being my
conjectures, any one acquainted with the appearance of New Bedford may very
readily infer how palpably I must have seen my
mistake.
In the afternoon of
the day when I reached New Bedford, I visited the wharves*, to take a view of
the shipping. Here I found myself surrounded with the strongest proofs of
wealth. Lying at the wharves, and riding in the stream, I saw many ships of the
finest model, in the best order, and of the largest size. Upon the right and
left, I was walled in by granite warehouses of the widest dimensions, stowed to
their utmost capacity with the necessaries and comforts of life. Added to this,
almost every body seemed to be at work, but noiselessly so, compared with what I
had been accustomed to in Baltimore. There were no loud songs heard from those
engaged in loading and unloading ships. I heard no deep oaths or horrid curses
on the labourer. I saw no whipping of men ; but all seemed to go smoothly on.
Every man appeared to understand his work, and went at it with a sober yet
cheerful earnestness, which betokened the deep interest which he felt in what he
was doing, as well as a sense of his own dignity as a man. To me this looked
exceedingly strange. From the wharves I strolled around and over the town,
gazing with wonder and admiration at the splendid churches, beautiful dwellings,
and finely-cultivated gardens ; evincing an amount of wealth, comfort, taste,
and refinement, such as I had never seen in any part of slaveholding
Maryland.
Every thing looked
clean, new, and beautiful. I saw few or no dilapidated houses, with
poverty-stricken inmates; no half- naked children and barefooted women, such as I had been accustomed to see in
Hillsborough, Easton, St. Michael's, and Baltimore. The people looked more able,
stronger, healthier, and happier than those of Maryland. I was for once made
glad by a view of extreme wealth, without being saddened by seeing extreme
poverty. But the most astonishing as well as the most interesting thing to me
was the condition of the colored people, a great many of whom, like myself, had
escaped thither as a refuge from the hunters of men. I found many who had not
been seven years out of their chains, living in finer houses, and evidently
enjoying more of the comforts of life, than the average of slaveholders in
Maryland.
I will venture to assert that my friend
Mr. Nathan Johnson (of whom I can say with a grateful heart, " I was hungry, and
he gave me meat ; I was thirsty, and he gave me drink ; I was a stranger, and he
took me in") lived in a neater house ; dined at a better table ; took, paid for,
and read more newspapers ; better understood the moral, religious, and political
character of the nation, than nine-tenths of the slaveholders in Talbot county,
Maryland. Yet Mr. Johnson was a working man. His hands were hardened by toil,
and not his alone, but those also of Mrs. Johnson. I found the colored people
much more spirited than I had supposed they would be. I found among them a
determination to protect each other from the blood-thirsty kidnapper, at all
hazards. Soon after my arrival, I was told of a circumstance which illustrated
their spirit. A colored man and a fugitive slave were on unfriendly terms. The former was heard to threaten the
latter with informing his master of his whereabouts. Straightway a meeting was
called among the colored people, under the stereotyped notice, "Business of
importance!" The betrayer was invited to attend. The people came at the
appointed hour, and organized the meeting by appointing a very religious old
gentleman as president, who, I believe, made a prayer, after which he addressed
the meeting as follows : "Friends, we have got him here, and I would recommend
that you, young men, just take him outside the door, and kill him /" With this,
a number of them bolted at him ; but they were intercepted by some more timid
than themselves, and the betrayer escaped their vengeance, and has not been seen
in New Bedford since. I believe there have been no more such threats, and should
there be hereafter, I doubt not that death would be the
consequence.
I found employment,
the third day after my arrival, in stowing a sloop with a load of oil. It was
new, dirty, and hard work for me ; but I went at it with a glad heart and a
willing hand. I was now my own master. It was a happy moment, the rapture of
which can be understood only by those who have been slaves. It was the first
work, the reward of which was to be entirely my own. There was no Master Hugh
standing ready, the moment I earned the money, to rob me of it. I worked that
day with a pleasure I had never before experienced. I was at work for myself and
my newly-married wife. It was to me the starting-point of a new existence. When
I got through with that job, I went in pursuit of a job of caulking ; but such
was the strength of prejudice against color, among the white caulkers, that they
refused to work with me, and of course, I could get no employment.* Finding my
trade of no immediate benefit, I threw off my caulking habiliments, and prepared
myself to do any kind of work I could get to do. Mr. Johnson kindly let me have
his wood-horse and saw, and I very soon found myself a plenty of work. There was
no work too hard none too dirty. I was ready to saw wood, shovel coal, carry the
hod, sweep the chimney, or roll oil casks, all of which I did for nearly three
years in
New Bedford before I
became known to the antislavery world.
In about four months
after I went to New Bedford, there came a young man to me, and inquired if I did
not wish to take the " Liberator." I told him I did ; but just having made my
escape from slavery, I remarked that I was unable to pay for it then. I,
however, finally became a subscriber to it. The paper came, and I read it from
week to week with such feelings as it would be quite idle for me to attempt to
describe. The paper became my meat and my drink. My soul was set all on fire.
Its sympathy for my brethren in bonds its scathing denunciations
of
slaveholders its
faithful exposures of slavery and
*
I am told that
colored persons can now get employment at caulking in New Bedford a result of
anti-slavery effort. its powerful attacks upon the upholders of the institution
sent a thrill of joy through my soul, such as I had never felt before ! I had
not long been a reader of the "Liberator," before I got a pretty correct idea of
the principles, measures, and spirit of the anti-slavery reform. I took right
hold of the cause. I could do but little ; but what I could I did with a joyful
heart, and never felt happier than when in an anti-slavery meeting. I seldom had
much to say at the meetings, because what I wanted to say was said so much
better by others. But while attending an anti-slavery convention at Nantucket on
the llth of August, 1841, I felt strongly moved to speak, and was at the same time much
urged to do so by Mr. William C. Coffin, a gentleman who had heard me speak in
the colored people's meeting at New Bedford.
It was a severe
cross, and I took it up reluctantly. The truth was, I felt myself a slave, and
the idea of speaking to white people weighed me down. 1 spoke but a few moments,
when I felt a degree of freedom, and said what I desired with considerable ease.
From that time until now, I have been engaged in pleading the cause of my
brethren with what success, and with what devotion, I leave those acquainted
with my labors to decide.
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