" FIDO LUNETTES" ENTERTAINING BOOK OF BOOK OF PORTLAND

One of the, oldest and most entertaining " guides to Portland " is that published anonymously in 1825. The inscription reads very quaintly : -

AN HISTORICAL AND DESCRIPTIVE ACCOUNT

OF THE PENINSULA OF PORTLAND FROM

THE EARLIEST TO THE PRESENT

containing;

Full and authentic particulars of the ravages and destruction of the storm on the 23rd of November, 1824 at Weymouth, Fleet, Smallmouth Passage, and Chesil, in Portland; of the shipwreck of the Colville ; the stranding of the Ebenezer; and the distress of the Westernorland Etc.

BY FIDO LUNETTES

" And there the soil a stony harvest yield"

--Dryden

LONDON

Printed by S. McDOWALL, Leadenhall Street. 1825.

In his dedication to " His excellency John Penn, Governor of Portland and its dependencies," Fido Lunettes writes " During a residence of little more than two calander months in the town of Weymouth, like other occasional visitors, I devoted some portion of my time and attention to the history and the productions of Portland. In his preliminary observasions (sic) he says :- " The only stimulus which prompts me to devote a few hours to a correct and summary sketch of the history and description of Portland, and to submit it to the public, is because strangers, who occasionally visit this part of the kingdom, and who depend upon the natives for information are too frequently made the instruments of imposition, and the dupes of false, bigoted and erroneous suppositions. . . . . . . Should this manual, however, have the misfortune to fall into the hands of a reader of a cynical of hypercritical turn of mind, I shall really tremble for its credit and look upon its deliverance from his hands, without marginal and interlineal abuses and multilated (sic) page, as a happy and providential escape from the sharp and insufferable attack of the porcupine."

THE STORY OF "WAPSY"

The story of Wapsy doubtless first gained publicity through Fido Lunettes, for we read " A gentleman had made repeated enquiries after one James Miller ; but as he was not possessed of the secrecy of his cognomen his enquiries were necessarily fruitless and unavailing. By chance, at last, he discovered that Miller was alias Wapsy and accidentally meeting with this man's son in the Island he asked him where this person lived, signifying him by the former name. " I don't know" was the immediate reply, " there's no such a man as he here ; he does not live in Portland, Sir.'' - " He is commonly called Wapsy " added the gentleman---" Wapsy, Wapsy, Sir" repeated the astonished Portlander, "why, Sir, Wapsy's my feyther - Wapsy's my feyther, Sir".

A PORTLANDER'S WORD.

"The following may perhaps " says "Fide Lunettes" " be deemed of interest sufficient to merit insertion here, and to display in a particular advantageous light the irreversibility and inviolability of a Portlander's word. An islander was engaged in the customary manner to a native female who unhappily was soon afterwards committed into the hands of justice, for an offence against the laws of Excise relative to smuggling, which subjected her to a penalty of �100, or imprisonment for several months. The poor fellow, in this wretched emergency anxious to perform his promise, and relieve his intended spouse from the horrors of her situation petitioned the magistrate to release the prisoner in order that he might marry her, and be himself responsible. The petition was granted, but at the prison a new and undreamt of dilemma arose. The Calypso resolutely refused to be thus ransomed and declared she would solely and individually suffer the evils she had brought upon herself by her imprudence and misconduct. For some time remonstrance was in vain, but finally love was triumphant. The Islanders assembled ; the marriage was duly solemnised ; and the Lord of the Isle, glorying in what he had done went to prison " such is the power of mighty love ".

Speaking of the customs of the Islanders, "Fide Lunettes" says :

"An instance of their extreme aversion and prejudice towards a foreigner, or continental inhabitant, upon whom they bestow the opprobious (sic) name of " Kimberline " may suffice and perhaps amuse. A Portlander had engaged himself to a female of Weymouth. Their courtship had arrived to such a stage of love and fidelity, that the day for their union was fixed upon, and looked forward to with anxiety and pleasure by each party. In the interim, unfortunately, the report of their amour, got wind, and filled the islanders with indignation and surprise, for they were hitherto ignorant of the deed. The native beauties were piqued that a stranger's charms and pretensions should outvie their own ; besides they knew not how for this innovation on what they considered their natural right and prerogative over the male part of the community, handed down from generations, and supported by custom, might extend itself; and therefore very wisely and prudently resolved to suppress it on every occasion. The innocent and unsuspecting cause of all this, having unwarily joined a few friends in an excursion to Portland, landed at this crisis. No sooner were these tidings known than a crowd of viragoes hurried down to the beach, and stoned the poor girl out of the peninsula : the match was broken off in consequence ".

A PORTLAND WEDDING IN 1824

" It is a novel and interesting scene " says " Fido Lunettes in his historical and descriptive account of Portland (1824) " to witness a Portland wedding. The friends and relatives of both parties are invited to share in the festivity of the day, and to increase. the brilliant and joyful spectacle. It bears resemblance to a Highland wedding in feudal times, when all the followers of the clan assembled to partake in the hospitality of their friends, and to grace the long and winding procession ; the happy couple of course lead the van. On a late occasion not less than 55 couples followed the loving pair, besides a great concourse of spectators, and paraded for several hours during the day the most public and inhabited parts of the island. When the performance of the ceremony is duly and solemnly ended, the parties resort. to a public house near the church, and regale themselves with bumbo and punch ; and as there are no bells in the dome of the Church the inhabitants of the house discharge at intervals pistols, guns, muskets or blunderbusses, to supply the ding-dong of the" merry, merry bells " Open house is kept for several days, and jollity makes the roof continually resound with his loud laugh, joke and song ; thus passes the "honeymoon" of the unsophisticated Portlanders.

[See elsewhere in the index for other items mentioned]

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