Part of the
Acorn Archive
Hearts of Oak
Dad’s Diary 1941
Transcribed
by Sue Twyman
proud
daughter of
Lt Philip
Bray R.N. [1912 –1988]
Diary
Entries
March 1942 April 1942
March 1st
1942
We have had a day of terrific air raids, carried out
by a great many enemy bombers and fighters. It started at 10 am and did not
cease until midnight, even after that we had some raids.
I have never spent a day of “wondering” so much,
wondering if my turn had come, for I never go to a shelter, and I know I am
stupid not to, especially as I cannot get rid of this very real nervous
feeling.
I went ashore at 1, just before raid had started, and
was caught out in it. A very heavy bomb, hit the water and burst horribly, only
20 to 30 yards from the boat I was going ashore in! The nearest escape anyone
could have had!
It shook us all up badly, but hurt none of us—but
God alone knows why. Oh I am a very lucky devil!! I’ll never forget it.
Took me an hour to get to Kaths, but we were able to
eat our dinner without getting up. And then they poured all their fury on us.
Kath and Co and I had no shelter, and had to lay on the floor!
Bombs whizzed down all around and some were very
close, and filled sitting room with fine dust. Large pieces of shrapnel came
through the hall and missed us by inches.
I could stick it no longer, and I had to go outside
and watch, not because I am brave, but because I am mad I think, and very
nervous of being, ”down below” like in a ship!
I saw wave after wave of big JU88 bombers diving for
us, I watched the bombs leave them---but I couldn’t move an inch! Oh, I do wish
I had never got like this. Damn, damn, damn, war, its vile, so vile, but us
humans, how stupid we were to cause it
We were like that until midnight, Kath and kiddies
worn out—me, not far off—but I’ll never give my last little bit of spirit up.
Come on England!!
They were bombing anything, and hit churches and houses,
shelters and whatnot. We lost 3 fighters—but damaged 2 bombers and 1 ME109.
March 2nd
1942
The heavy Blitz started again and almost lasted all
day, with many, many bombs around. Do not mind when I’m on board, for we hit
back at them, and we used every gun in the ship today, fired such a lot of
ammunition!
And above all, at 4 this afternoon, good old Aurora
shot down an enemy bomber. We have made a name for ourselves here! Malta would
miss us if we went!
Today I was chosen as demolition party, in event of
invasion here. My job is to place explosives and blow up the dockyard sky high!
If ever I do carry this out, I shall be made a prisoner of war, unless worse!
Buts it’s all in the game.
March 9th
1942
We have some Spitfires here now, and this morning
they shot down a lot of enemy fighters, and the result is that we have only had
about 3 air raids all day.
March 13th
1942
Friday the 13th today, but nothing out of
the ordinary happened. We had the usual raids all day, but the Nazis do not
like our Spitfires. They drop their bombs from high altitude now, instead of
diving. Cannot understand why we have no balloon barrage here.
March 17th
1942
The enemy bombers came over with force today and
gave the island plenty of bombs. We had about 8 blitz raids all day, and night
too. At one time 50 enemy aircraft attacked. Bombs fell around the ship in
several directions.
The work of repairing Aurora is going on now, and it
seems as if we may be coming out of dock in about a week. Then what? I suppose
we shall do plenty of sea time then, and none of us are looking forward to it.
I dread it, because I cannot get over the shock of when we were mined!
But it is just as bad for the enemy, and soon the
Italians will feel the hit of the Aurora’s guns again—that will make them stop
sending supplies to Libya!
Oh how I’d love so dearly to go home soon—there is a
chance—but a very slender one. It is nearly a year since we were on leave now.
March 21st
1942
We had a terrific blitz from 10 this morning until 11—the
enemy used 50 dive bombers and dropped scores of bombs all over the place.
Kaths husband Fred’s Army Camp took 4 direct hits in this raid—heaps killed and
camp out of action!
They carried on raiding us all day, and I went
ashore to Kaths at dinner time. At 3 this after noon the enemy raided us with
75 dive bombers, and dropped bombs all over the place. I saw one bomber dive
straight at us—Kath and Co in the house.
I saw huge bomb leave the plane—and just had time to
run in and throw throw Kath and kiddies on the floor—me on top of them.
The bomb hit the building dead opposite, and it was
one of the heaviest 3,000lbs. Blew the roof of Kaths house in, and all the
windows, doors and hall fell in!
We all got out alright but were suffering shock for
some considerable time!
We went into shelter while raid increased for an
hour—heaps dead and injured. The house was impossible to live in, so packed
Kath and kiddies up to neighbor for few days, until they get another flat.
March 23rd
1942
I got early leave and went ashore to help Kath pack
up flat—but heavy blitz stopped us going until 3 o’clock.
The enemy used 75 dive bombers, on the harbour and
convoy which our sister ship “Penelope” brought in. One of the convoy was
sunk—I saw survivors—and one of our little destroyers sunk too! Terrific
gunfire and bombs all the time, and we shot down 8 enemy bombers, 10 more
damaged. What a hell Malta is now!! It’s a miracle they have not hit Aurora in
dock!
March 24th
1942
Red Letter Day
A day of sunshine------What
a day!!
At noon the enemy sent over 140 planes and heaps of
bombs—a real Blitz this time and at long last, they hit our ship Aurora!! Good
old Aurora, with a 2,000lb armour piercing bomb!!
What an explosion, almost as bad as the mine going
off. I knew they would get us. It also blew half the dock side up and water is
pouring into the dry dock at a rate of tons a minute!
We have only three casualties—goodness knows why not
more! It looks like these repairs will take a time now—what a mess we are in.
Huge rocks weighing tons and debris was hurled onto
our decks. Port Pom Pom gun torn off, torpedo tubes damaged heaps of buckled
plate.
I’ve never seen anything like it. Twice in past two
days I have missed death by inches!! How can I expect to always miss it, but I
do hope and pray so, with Gods help.
After the bomb fell I was detailed to take charge of
a rescue party, for a destroyer of ours, sinking a mile off the beach. We
arrived at spot as she was breaking in two—but water was so rough we could not
help them. All the chaps were taken on board another destroyer, just a moment
before she broke in two, and then I watched her sink!
As this was going on JU87 Stuka dive bomber attacked
the destroyers, and bombs fell close to them—about 30 bombs altogether.
As my party were standing on beach, we were fired at
by an enemy bomber rear gunner, and cannon shells hit the water 50yards from
us—missed again, thank God!!
March 26th
1942
A nice sunny day, but what a hell of a day it has
been again We had no raids until noon. Then the enemy sent in 15 dive bombers
and heaps of fighter.
They aimed for us ships and they hit one of the
convoy that came in the other day. She burst into flames and we had to scuttle
her as she had 70,000 shells and 64—4,000lb bombs on board, would have blown
Malta to bits!
At 4 o’clock we had 2 hours of non stop bombing.
First 30 JU88’s came in and they hit the other ship from the convoy, which sank
in harbour!
Then 30 JU87s Stukas dive bombed all our ships, “Penelope”
had near miss and one fell close to Aurora.
The destroyer Legion, laying near us, hit with two
bombs, and rolled over., and sank
Another ship Plumleaf was hit and heeled over.
Another was hit on the stern and gun crew killed
Then 9 more came in, and another 6. All I have seen
today, and felt in the bursting of heavy bombs. One gets so fed up with it and
I feel so nervous now—but won’t give in and go to a shelter—I can’t in any case
We shot down a lot today—do not know score—but we
fired thousands of rounds with our guns!
We had the Legions survivors onboard for supper
tonight.
March27th 1942
The surprise of my life today we went out of dock,
as we were a good target for the dive bombers. We have been told we are going
to sea soon, in spite of the damage we have. Oh I wonder where we are
going—dare I hope!
We took on board heaps of ammunition, and stores,
and the dockies have left everything as it is!! We worked so late that it was
too late to go to Kaths---how she will be worrying.
March28th 1942
We are laying alongside where the “Legion” went
down. We had raids all day, and we were the target. They bombed us a lot and at
2 this afternoon, I was on deck when 3 bombs burst only 20 yards from our
stern---we shuddered a bit!!
During the raids I went ashore to say ”Cheerio”, as
I have heard we may leave Malta tomorrow!
March 29th
1942
Today we had raids but not so heavy, only about 12
bombs anywhere in our vicinity.
We took on heaps of stores, mail, and survivors on
board, about 150 of them, so it seems we are going to Alexandria! But some
chaps say it is Gibraltar and then home!
Oh goodness dare I let myself think so. Anyhow we
are going somewhere today.
Yet the ship is not in a real fighting state
Carried on working, getting ship ready for sea,
heaps to do in such a hurry.
At 7 this evening we left Malta and the Commander
then told us we are going to Gib!?
Oh my wife, it looks as if at long last, I am on my
way home to you—Oh I pray it is so, I feel like crying, really I do---for we
have been through so much—almost more than one can bear. Some of our chaps
nerves have broken---they are in a bad state!
At present we are going at high speed towards
Pantellaria, we call it, “Bomb Alley” and we expect trouble there.
March 30th
1942
We have been steaming at high speed towards Gibratar
all day, near the African Coast. Feel very nervous to be at sea—in fact I now
jump at any noise—it’s disgusting of me.
At 3 this afternoon, we sighted 3 enemy torpedo
bombers, and fired all we had at them, and their torpedoes missed us.
We were attacked like this for 3 hours—had 15
torpedoes fired at us—but all missed, thank God! Increased speed to 28 knots.
March 31st
1942
We were joined by 3 destroyers at daybreak, our escort,
we are still at high speed towards Gib—should reach there this evening.
I do pray we shall go on to England.
Machine gunned by German planes this afternoon—but
we only had 2 casualties!
Steamed at high speed and sighted Gib at 7 this
evening, but fog bank stopped us entering until 11 tonight.
Well we have arrived here, and now we are praying
hard, that we may go on to England
Must keep my chin up after all we have been through.
April 1st
1942
What a wonderful surprise for the first day of the
month. The Captain told us this morning, that we are sailing for home
tonight!!!Oh, I think I’m the happiest man alive—I know I am.
All day we took on ammunition and oil fuel, and
survivors of ships who are taking passage in Aurora.
The C in C of Med Fleet sent us a signal of
“AuRevoir”. He said, “Well done. We shall miss the Aurora who has fought and
menaced the enemy so fearfully, and with such good results”
Admiral Vian sent to say he was deeply sorry to lose
such a fine ship from his squadron.
Well we certainly did shake the enemy up—and no ship
in the Med, has such a good name for fighting efficiency. Well done Aurora
At 4 o’clock a German spy, under sentence of death,
was brought on board—for England!
At 6 this evening we said “Fairwell” to Gibralter
and have just left it astern of us.
April 2nd
1942
A calm sea, for which I am glad. We steered out into
the Atlantic at good speed of 23knots. At noon we sighted a small ship and
expected some excitement, but it was only a Portugese ship. We are keeping a
good lookout for U boats as there are plenty about!
In the midst of joyful excitement of going home, I
have had time to thank God, with all my heart. I’m so fortunate to be alive and
going home to my wife and daughter.
April 3rd
1942
Weather pretty rough but we carried on into Atlantic
and North at high speed. Commander told us this morning that we should arrive
at Liverpool on Sunday, April 5th.
I have begun to pack my stuff for leave as we shall
go almost as soon as we get into port.
April 4th
1942
Very rough sea and we have been rolling pretty
heavily all day. We are leaking badly in some of our compartments, and some
bulkheads are giving way. Hope we get into Liverpool okay
Oh I am so excited, and so very happy now. I still
have bad nerves, do hope I don’t show it at home! But the very slightest bang
makes me jump. But I am lucky to have got away with it so lightly. We have
earned our leave so deservedly after such a hell as the last 6 months. Off
coast of North Ireland now.
April 6th
1942
Very Rough today and we are speeded up to our
highest 32knots. We came into the Irish Channel this morning and we carried on
rolling heavily until we reached Liverpool at 4 this evening.
We landed all the survivors, and now I am duty. I
sent Ethel a telegram.
April 7th
1942
Got up early, very excited but felt rather ill with
flu. Caught train at Liverpool at 10 o’clock. We had a busy day of travel, and
I arrived HOME at about 6 this evening.
My darling met me at Pompey!
END OF DIARY
Am
ending diary here, as when Dad got back to England
he
spent several months on Gunnery Courses,
and
other courses, before joining another ship.
He
fulfilled his goal of becoming an officer
after
his lowly beginnings of T.S. Warspite.
And
on retirement he had served the Royal Navy for 38 years.
Poem found at the back of the Diary
Hearts Desire
Do not be afraid of life, the grief and the strife
Do not shrink with fear and dread, from the things that lie ahead
Do not be afraid to try, for no goal can be too high
For many fail but don’t complain. You can always try again.
Don’t be afraid to speak, to adventure and to seek
Don’t be afraid to be master of your destiny
Fear can paralyze the will, and can weaken, and can kill
The desire to challenge fate, to progress and create
Do not be afraid to live, Fortune has rich gifts to give
To the one who does not shirk, thankless tasks and weary work
Sacrificing other claims, to achieve the highest aims
If of this you do not tire, you will get your Hearts Desire
Author
Unknown
Dad
after WWII
Mum and Dad in 1952
Raymond Forward
Thanks to Sue Twyman