Mary Beckley Bristow
1866-1871: Death has been a busy messenger
January 1st 1866.
Another year has revolved. And how many of our fellow mortals that were well and happy this day one year ago have since that day been called to try the realities of eternity. “Eternity, Eternity, awful solemn thought. If a little bird were to come once a year and take one grain of sand away until every grain on earth was gone, eternity would be just begun.” I was a small child when old Ambrose Dudley, a dear, old servant of God, used these words in a sermon at my Grandfather’s house, very probably at this time of year, for I remember he always preached there in the Christmas holy-days, after my recollection, on my Grandfather’s account, who was entirely blind, and two dear old Christian aunts. Am not so sure it was not an aunt’s funeral,1 but one thing I do know, that my thoughts reverted to the immense sand-banks made by freshets in Green Creek, and shuddered at the idea. Now nothing seems to move me nor anybody else. All go on as though that awful word, eternity, was done away with. Truly, it appears to have lost its solemn import to thousands who are gaily sailing to its shores, unmindful of the dreadful fate that for all they know or care awaits them. Thine arm, Almighty God, can stop them in their mad career.
But I need not find so much fault of those who have never been taught by the Holy Spirit. They know no better. But I, who have professed for nearly thirty-three years to have been taught to know good from evil, light from dark, who has for that length of time hoped in God and his Christ, O, why am I so little affected by this important matter? I should look at every Christmas & New Years as milestones set up along the road of life. Each one — not as the Poet says, A day’s march nearer home — but a whole year’s march nearer that eternity into which I am fast hastening.
No servile fear of the dread monster death has for some years disturbed my peace. Often I think I am too careless and indifferent; at times I seriously fear presumption and over-confidence, and again I fear if death were at hand and I was aware of it I might shrink and be awfully afraid. But with this matter I have nothing to do. If deceived my case is awful indeed. If I am what I hope at times, a blood-bought child of God, a member of the mystical body of Jesus — though the smallest and meanest of that body — then I am safe for time and eternity. . . .
The past has been an eventful year. Lincoln, President of the United States, has been assassinated;2 Davis, the President of the Confederated States, is still in a gloomy prison.3 As far as we can see, the Confederacy is completely under the foot of the despotic power. Whether it will always be so or not God only knows; no mortal being can look into futurity. The year sixty-six was by many thought to be the prophetic year spoken of in Revelations.4 Of this I know nothing, but know the eternal purposes of God will be fulfilled in his own good time.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour.
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan his work in vain.
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.
January 17th 1866.
Received an excellent letter from Br Theobalds today, also one from my cousin Millie Clarkson. Was very glad to hear from both.
January 19th.
This is the third anniversary of the death of my dear old Mother. In my journey of fifty-seven years I never lost a friend that made so wide a gap in all things to me. From that time the world has been changed, and still greater change has been in my heart since the 23rd of last March when my last earthly prop, my beloved old brother Julius, was taken. But I have often rejoiced in my very heart since the war ended as it did, that they were safe beneath the sod, and yet I feel my own loss very sensibly. Still, O, how severely they would have felt the subjugation of the South, and then to have experienced the liberating of our servants that we have scuffled & struggled so hard to raise that they might support us in our old days taken from us and we left in total dependence, would have been too hard for them to have borne. No, O no, I would not have them here, but bless and praise the matchless name of the Almighty Disposer of all things that their bodies are sleeping in the quiet grave where none of these things can reach them. Received tonight the first No. of the Signs for 1866; have not read but two letters.
August ’66.
This morning Br Wallingford & wife left us. Last Saturday was our monthly meeting. Br Lassing has not been able to preach for us, nor even to meet with us for long time. Nor have I any hope he ever will again. Very faithfully has he attended us since May ’56 (ten years) until his health got so poor — not for filthy lucre, for he never would receive one cent from the Church. Therefore he must have been actuated alone by love to God and his people. For two meetings past Edmund Stevens5 has been the preacher. He did not touch on the disputed points and really preached better than I thought he could. But last Saturday Br Theobalds and Br Wallingford came to see us, and the difference between truth and error never looked so glaring. . . .
Monday I went with Br W— & wife at Br C. Wilson’s; spent a pleasant day. Tuesday we repaired to hear a good sermon from Br W. The doors were opened for the reception of members. Martha, Anselm’s wife, came forward, related her experience, and was received for baptism. The next morning we met at the waters, and the solemn ordinance was performed by Br W. And again we repaired to the meeting house and had an excellent sermon. . . .
* * * * *
November 6th 1866.
On Sunday after preaching, the door was again opened and Joe Wilson6 came forward, and as soon as he had given a relation of his hope, Joseph Ann Wilson7 walked up and gave the reason for her hope in Christ. Both were received. . . .
1867
April 11th 1867.
Heard yesterday that our beloved brother James Wilson was sleeping in the quiet grave.8 I had heard he was very ill, but was not prepared to receive the news of his death, that in time I should see him no more. I have known him from boyhood and feel confident I never knew a better man by nature. . . . He leaves a most helpless family, and for me to look at it, thousands of men could have been better spared. . . .
Death has been a busy messenger of late, it seems. Since I have been confined to this house by ill health, bad weather and roads, three dear friends have been called, I firmly believe, home to be forever with the Lord they loved. First [was] dear old Br Lassing, and though I was expecting to hear of his departure, yet it is hard to realize. For days after I knew he was gone, I was living over our early days of pilgrimage, when we were young baptists. Happy, happy days they were. . . .
We are now destitute of a preacher at Sardis and have been nearly so for two years, and yet the Lord has remembered us in mercy by sending his ministering servants. . . . Brethren Theobalds9 and Wallingford10 came to help us in our destitution.
1869
May 9th 1869.
Over two years have elapsed since I have written one word in my record. How very many things have transpired since, many painful scenes have I passed through, and many changes have taken place with me and also with many of my friends. This day four weeks ago I saw the mortal part of our beloved old Sister Wilson11 laid in the silent grave. A funeral discourse was preached on the occasion by our beloved brother Joseph A Johnson (who has been pastor at Sardis for two years)12 from these words of Jesus, “I am the resurrection and the life.”13 It was an able and soul-comforting, heart-cheering discourse. My tears flowed freely, and yet I felt glad, for the resurrection for me is a most glorious subject. . . .
* * * * *
1870
August 8, 1870.
Yesterday was our monthly meeting at Sardis. Our beloved and highly esteemed pastor, J A Johnson, was with us. On Saturday he preached a most consoling sermon from Isaiah, thirty second Chap, 1st & 2d verses, “Behold a King shall reign in righteousness and princes shall rule in judgement. . ..”
After meeting on Saturday a number of us went to Mr Corban’s.14 Spent a pleasant evening and yesterday repaired to the meeting house and had our hearts cheered with another most excellent sermon from the same prophet, Isaiah 42d Chapter, 6 & 7th verses. I did not enjoy it as I did the preaching on Saturday, but it was [thought] by many to be the best sermon. Took dinner at Sister Stansifer’s, then came to Br Swetnam’s,15 where Br Johnson again preached. . . .
Sept 1870.
Through the goodness of the Lord was enabled to attend Salem Association16 two days. When Sister Aulick17 and I got there Elder Bartley18 was preaching. I soon found I had been greatly deceived when I heard him several years ago when he preached for us at Sardis. He is a powerful preacher. Spoke from Isaiah, “Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, &c &c.”19 I was delighted with his sermon Saturday. I met many friends whom I had not seen for a long time and heard six good sermons, but felt too much worn out to attend the last day, so came to Volney’s. . . .
* * * * *
1871
November 18, 1871.
This day I am sixty-three years old and I think the past twelve months or a little over have been the saddest, most anxious months of my life; never before have I passed through so long a siege, watching loved ones suffering and dying. On the 18th day of Oct., 1870, my dear beloved James Jerome Bristow was taken down to his bed and after nine days of intense suffering breathed his last of heart disease.20 But we had hope in his death, for although deprived of the power of speech for some days before his death, when asked if he loved Jesus, he responded by signs, Yes, Yes, then raised his hands and eyes to heaven and burst into tears. Now I am firmly persuaded that none love Jesus but those whom the blessed Savior loved first. The Apostle John says, “We love him because he first loved us.”21 By nature we do not love God nor his Christ.
On the 23rd of January, 1871, I witnessed the departure of my little niece and namesake, Mary Bettie, daughter of A W and Martha Bristow.22 After nine weeks suffering she passed away from this sin-stained world to be with him who said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, for of such are the kingdom of heaven.”23 Yet it was very hard for the parents to give up their bright, sweet little daughter aged 16 months.
Beneath a grassy cloth doth lie
A young and gentle head;
As lovely a bud as ere did die
Sleeps in that narrow bed.
For some time previous to Jerome’s death, his Father was suffering, at times very severely, with a sore in his mouth that we were very uneasy about. He grew worse all the time, tried many of the most eminent physicians, but received no benefit. Such intense suffering I have never witnessed; it seemed at times more than the human frame could bear. In May he resolved at all hazards to have his jaw opened, which was done, and a pound of decayed flesh was extracted. For a few weeks we had great hopes of his recovery, but alas the disease had taken too deep a hold on his system, and we found our hopes futile, but rejoiced that his sufferings were not so great afterward, though the awful disease, cancer, was slowly but surely destroying his mortal body. His flesh and strength generally declined, until he became the most entire wreck I have ever seen. I do not think the nearest friend he had on earth, who had not seen him frequently during his protracted suffering, would have recognized him. But the Lord, we trust, was teaching him and leading him to living fountains of water, and when the breath left his body, his tried spirit was taken to that bright home above where God has wiped all tears from his eye. During his long illness of eighteen months he often seemed anxious to leave this world. Often [he] would say, “Oh if I only could go home.” I told him the Lord would take him at the right time. Once I repeated the words of the poet, “Although I fear death’s chilling tide, still I long for home. . ..”24 He answered, “Ah, that is it. I am not afraid to die but dread the dark valley, but if Jesus be with me, I shall fear no evil.”25
I have never witnessed more patience than he exhibited throughout his sufferings. We always in good weather would move his rocking chair in the porch. For some days in September, it had been cold & rainy and he had been confined to the room, had become too feeble to walk but a few steps at a time. I went in one morning to help him to dress. I said, “It is a beautiful, bright morning. You can go out in the porch. Are you glad?” “Indeed I am,” [he] said. He was quite cheerful while dressing and eating his breakfast. Soon after, we moved him out. Whilst I was arranging his chairs, he stood up, looking all around. All at once he burst out into tears. I caught his arm. He saw I was troubled. Raising his hand towards heaven, he said, “I was just thinking, if yon sun made this earth so beautiful, what would heaven be, illumined by the sun of righteousness?” Immediately the words of the angel to John when in the Isle of Patmos, “And there shall be no night there, and they need no candle, neither light of the sun, for the Lord God giveth light, and they shall reign forever and ever,”26 came to mind. “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow nor crying. Neither shall there be any more pain for the former things are passed away.”27 I feel assured that my beloved brother is now in that happy clime, Free from sorrow, pain and care, from every sin and hurtful snare.
Once he told me he had the poorest idea of heaven of any body in the world who had professed to know God and his Christ. I told [him] I had often thought that of myself, but had come to the conclusion that Jesus was all the heaven I had ever known or cared to know. If I was one of the members of his body, I should be with him and like him, and I thought I should, like old David, be satisfied when I awoke in his likeness. He agreed with me [on] that. At another time he told me with tears that he feared he had never known one thing about religion, but after awhile he seemed better reconciled, and was again repeating the words, “God is love.”28 Those words I have no doubt were applied to him in an early stage of his sickness, for very, very often he repeated them, and the day before his death, when he could not speak intelligibly, when a friend was talking to him, he wrote on his slate, “God is love. I am not afraid to die.” The morning before he died when I went to him, he asked me how long I thought it would be before he could go home. I said, “Reuben, are you very anxious to go?” He answered, “I wait the Lord’s time,” and he looked humble and gentle as a little child. He spoke more plainly all day than he had for several days previous. About seven o’clock in the evening, he told us he was dying, raised his hands, repeated three times, “Lord have mercy on me,” then ceased to breathe.
Although we had been long expecting his death and sometimes [were] almost willing he should go, yet when he was gone, I felt that. . . .
[Here the ink fades out, and the manuscript ends.]
[ Accounts - Table of Contents ]
Notes:
[Click on footnote number to return to text.]
1 See above, A Relation of My Experience.
2 Seven months before, 14 April.
3 Following his capture 10 May 1865 in Georgia with elements of Duke’s Kentucky Cavalry, Davis was confined at Fort Monroe, Virginia, until May 1867, when he was released without trial.
4 Revelations 13:18.
5 Mary earlier had voiced her disagreements with Brother Stephens. (See above, 21 May 1848; 4 Jan 1858.)
6 Martha’s younger brother, Joseph M. Wilson (1838-1901). He had served with Jerome Bristow in Cmpany I, Second Kentucky Cavalry, CSA.
7 Joseph Ann Frances Kendrick (1830?- -?-), wife of Martha’s brother James Wilson. After his death in 1867 she moved to Chariton County, Missouri, near her brother Benjamin Kendrick and sister Millie Clarkson, wherre they were enumerated in 1870.
8 Martha’s elder brother, James G. Wilson (1824?-1867). (See above, 6 Sep 1863.)
9 John M. Theobald, who had married Anselm and Martha.
10 Not identified.
11 Likely Martha’s mother, who would have been 68 or 69. She was missing from the 1870 census.
12 Not otherwise identified.
13 John 11: 25.
14 Probably James Marshall Corbin, husband of Mary’s cousin, Nancy Pittman Clarkson. (See above, 14 May 1863.) or Albert Corbin of Bellevue, whose December 1897 obituary in the Boone County Recorder noted his membership in the Sardis congregation. James and Albert were cousins. See "The Cochran and French Families of West Virginia" on WorldConnect.
15 Not identified. Three brothers of that name lived near Reuben Bristow.
16 See above, 24 Aug 1861.
17 Probably Mrs. Louisa Aulick (1820?-1885), who in 1880 was boarding with Anselm and Martha Jane Bristow. She was the second wife of Charles A. Aulick of Pendleton, who had died in 1861. (Thanks to Beverly Aulick Schmitz for the information.) The 1883 Atlas shows her house at the southwesern corner of the main crossroads in Union, just across the road from Robert Conner’s drygoods store.
18 Not identified.
19 Isaiah 40: 1.
20 A brief obituary appeared in the Covington Journal, 12 Nov 1870, p 2. The story noted that his passing was regretted by “comrades of Frank’s Co., Duke’s Regt., CSA.” Since Jerome had been fit enough to serve as a cavalry trooper for more than three years, it seems probable that his heart disease was not organic, but due to an infection such as rheumatic fever, which is caused by a variety of Streptococcus bacteria. He may have contracted the disease in the field or during his time as a POW.
21 1 John 4: 19.
22 She was only eighteen months old, having been born in August, 1869.
23 Mark 10:14.
24 Source not identified.
25 See Psalms 23: 4.
26 Revelations 22: 5.
27 Revelations 21: 4.
28 1 John 4: 8, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” Also 1 John 4:16, “God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”
